Shot-gun marriages

[CarmeLicious]

What do you girls think abt Shot gun marriages?
The fact that the other party is willing to marry because of a human life formed inside the girl,
and what if the lady had a miscarriage halfway thru wouldnt it be all for naught?

Any stories to share?

i did a search, coudnt find anything abt this. mayb cos it's a taboo topic?

[babybebe]

shotgun marriages are nowadays not unusual....
i think it is a double blessings..can get married and give birth..

it won't be double blessings if the guy is not really committed to the gal and not keen to be a daddy.

[lovemymartinis]

I got a few friends who have gone through this. One couple is still happily married. Another couple I know is not. They are still together but my friend (the gal) is getting resentful for being trapped in this marraige. She's 30 and she decided to go ahead with it because she was worried about being left on the shelf. Her husband is kind of like a bum and they kind of sponge off friends by always telling us, no milk money for the baby. Last time we used to "lend" them money which is never recoverable. I've even helped her pay off her handphone bill once because their house phone was cut off due to non payment also and they sometimes used the money to go clubbing It's so bad she used the word "repulsed" when describing how she felt when her husband touched her

[Bebemum]

I have a guy friend going thru this....

Now their kid is already 5yo, and they are like 2 strangers living in the same house... becos of that common entity : the child...

[sunkist]

I alway feel marry because of the child is not right. You might live to regret in future. But when the shotgun come, i guess we really got no choice.

I will choose to bear the responsibility. But .....

[Shayann]

Alot of my friends are going thru this.. and are having alot of problems now that they are still very young? 19? But i think its very normal these days =)

[namida]

I alway feel marry because of the child is not right. You might live to regret in future. But when the shotgun come, i guess we really got no choice.

I will choose to bear the responsibility. But .....

i share the same sentiments as u

[sunkist]

Alway be responsible in what you choose. If you "want", use a rubber. If you want fun, bear with the consequences. =)

[introvert521]

I have a friend (girl) who experienced that. She is happily married now and the husband is good to her. But sometimes from what I heard from her, her husband is kind of MCP. In fact, I don't really like him. But on their wedding day (3 years ago), we still give her blessings...In fact, she is preaching that giving birth early is good...but when she got to know that she was pregnent, she was crying like hell! DUH!

[sunkist]

everything got it pro and con. the 2 side of the coin is alway different. However no matter which side, they are still a coin. that is the prinicpal of life also.

[youkie]

I got a few friends who have gone through this. One couple is still happily married. Another couple I know is not. They are still together but my friend (the gal) is getting resentful for being trapped in this marraige. She's 30 and she decided to go ahead with it because she was worried about being left on the shelf. Her husband is kind of like a bum and they kind of sponge off friends by always telling us, no milk money for the baby. Last time we used to "lend" them money which is never recoverable. I've even helped her pay off her handphone bill once because their house phone was cut off due to non payment also and they sometimes used the money to go clubbing It's so bad she used the word "repulsed" when describing how she felt when her husband touched her

this sounds very familar, my friend whom i lost contact for 5 yrs actually called me to lend her money (unrecoverable also) for baby's milk. and then she will tell me she has no money for food, hubby cant find a job etc. it was the final straw for me when i happen to know that she went clubbing at MOS and had money to open a bottle. She had the cheek to tell me she had no money for meals the very next day, i never gave in to her....

[stilangel]

Wow...that sounds pretty bad.

I think shotgun marriages don't work if there is no love between the couple and after all, people's characters do change. Esp for younger couples who didn't actually love each other that much and who were in the relationship for fun...I think it would be better if both parties took responsibilty but they don't necessarily need to get married to each other. And in the case of a miscarriage, it would be a wasted marriage unless both parties actually wanted to get married to each other, baby or no baby...

[tingkle]

just over the weekend i went to support my friend at a competition. there was this guy and this girl i saw. very young. the guy had a head full of ash dyed hair and the girl dressed skimpily. then after awhile, i saw the girl carrying a about 1 year old kid and cheering for the guy on stage. as everyone would assume, i thought the kid was a brother or nephew. but after the whole competition, my friend came and told me that the girl was her secondary school friend and the guy was her husband!and worse still she told me the girl is one year younger than i am. so we now know that it is a shtgun marriage. but will this couple be together till the are 50 years old?60? i mean it's like 30 more years down the road... a moment of happiness might result in a lifetime regret... guess i'm still having a very traditional mind.. but i don't think marriage should be built upon a person's life. It is a commitment that both parties have towards a future together.

[Bebemum]

Actually not only shotgun marriage have high risk of divorce... any marriage will too!

It all depends on the commitment level of both party to enhance the quality of marriage life, A couple of have grow together in terms of their maturity in a marriage.

[mellu]

I certainly agree with tuppermum. Both parties have to be responsible how to enhance their marriage life. Mutual understanding is important.