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Husband Had Affair - What Happened Next?

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  • Thanks shoppingqueenie. She is actually quite happy with the new guy now but took her very long. anyway divorce procedure can be very long. she finds it hard to commit again to this guy though. coz she lost trust in men totally she is afraid this one do the same to her next time.

    by the way, the ex hubby did not go back coz his girlfrd dump him. he saw my frd with new boyfriend and wanted her back but was still with the china girlfrd.

    screw up huh? i remember when they dated, he always send her flowers. very romantic type and undying love type (threaten to be a monk once when they broke up). then now can dont want his own kids even.

    leopard will never change its spots period

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    • Originally posted by tessalov View Post
      Thanks shoppingqueenie. She is actually quite happy with the new guy now but took her very long. anyway divorce procedure can be very long. she finds it hard to commit again to this guy though. coz she lost trust in men totally she is afraid this one do the same to her next time.

      by the way, the ex hubby did not go back coz his girlfrd dump him. he saw my frd with new boyfriend and wanted her back but was still with the china girlfrd.

      screw up huh? i remember when they dated, he always send her flowers. very romantic type and undying love type (threaten to be a monk once when they broke up). then now can dont want his own kids even.

      leopard will never change its spots period
      I understand how your friend feel now. I have friends who go through this phrase too. It's not easy to get on to another marriage because her previous marriage is really a nightmare. She already consider lucky to be able to move on instead of keep living in the past. It's very strong of her.

      Whether she can still continue her relationship with this boyfriend. That's another issue just let time or her heart to tell her what to do

      When guys want to woo someone, you will be amaze they are really "All the way". When the girl become theirs, it's another story. Perharps this is chain reaction, they only learn to cherish their love ones when they don't belong to them. Isn't it? Or blame it to their high ego.

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      • I think they have a chip in their brain asking them to hunt all the time. haha
        and prob ego you are right.

        I think there need to be a balance in a relationship. If a guy knew from the beginning that his woman is likely to forgive him type, higher chance he may cheat.

        If he knows she is the type to walk out then maybe lower chance?

        well, i also dunno.

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        • Actually forgiving is easy, but its the forgetting part which is tough.. Happen to me once .. Husband begged and was forgiven but it had been years, I still cant forget it...pain still lingers...........

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          • Ladies, I forgave him twice (yeah TWICE!) but when he did it the third time with a china woman, I told myself..he will NEVER CHANGE!! no matter how many times I forgive him and no matter how much I love him. Its a never ending story and I *came out* from the feeling that it must be my fault that he strayed so many times, coz I not a good wife? not pretty enough? not sexy enough etc etc. I *came out* totally from feeling so lousy abt myself and decided to end the marriage...I finally realised that it is HIM..not me...

            Went thru hell when I told him I want to divorce...but at least I done it.

            Now I am a happier person...no longer hv zero self confidence abt myself...

            Originally posted by jeszica View Post
            I kicked him out of the house when I found out and now he is officially out of my life now.

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            • Sigh... Once it happen, the wound is forever there.

              I felt that Man & Woman are just unpredictable creature. This thread should not only say about husband, can also comment on wife too. I have a fair share of friends in both sexes, walk out their marriage with valid or stupid reason. So what should I say right.

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              • Jeszica, just to ask...hmm... your ex hubby betrayal is it the caught in the act type or flirting ways only

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                • Caught in the act type..so for me to forgive him twice ..its really very tough...he promised not to do it again but still....

                  So I knew he will never change...my exact words to him were..you not suitable for marriage..I grant your freedom back to you, pls grant my freedom too

                  Originally posted by Pikachoo View Post
                  Jeszica, just to ask...hmm... your ex hubby betrayal is it the caught in the act type or flirting ways only

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                  • thats very very strong of you..........

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                    • me also going thru a divorce now...no point forgiving them...they will not change...noticed that a lot of girls forgive...so they get worse...
                      i know of alot of singaporean men who cheat...and very discreetly...
                      they just can't be trusted...
                      Last edited by ninenine8; 16-12-2008, 10:21 AM. Reason: wrong spelling

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                      • I think the worst type is the ones who cant even support the wife tai tai style and still cheat like they made it in life like that. Not that rich ones have right to cheat la. But if wife help support family and the men still cheat, it is

                        I had an ex who cheated on his wife with me (i didnt know he married then), divorced her to be with me, proposed to me (lucky i told him i need to think) and end up cheated on me with another girl!
                        I never wanna find out who the other girl is, coz it is not me with the prob or the wife. It is him that is the prob. I walked out immediately and didnt even blink an eye doing that though i cried very hard but never ever regretted my decision.
                        Because I love myself too much! and I think I am too good for him and he is not rich/handsome/ good enough for me to take that crap. Now I am very happy with a BF for 3 years but I still will never tust any man 100%.
                        Better no man then a shitty man.

                        Jeszica, You are very strong I am sure you will find a better man.

                        Ninenine8, stay strong ya, after the storm is calm and you will find peace within yourself

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                        • Sometimes when he flirted around and get caught by me (saw the smses from his hp), i really feel like giving it all up... but because of my children i ended up forgiving him again and again...

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                          • maybe you should see a marriage counseller with him?

                            it's hard to pretend nothing is happening, what about confronting him?
                            I know it's hard with children but you must think of yourself too if you can live with this.

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                            • if check sms msg then its to confront or not confront? i think if have kids, then have to think twice, esp if SAHM? otherwise, no source of 'income' for the kids too? esp if the mother is so dependant on the man. thats why now we see those 40-60 or even older, divorce because now they can finally walk away when kids are older.

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                              • Whenever I saw the smses I confronted him on the spot, no matter how late it is, but he always denied that it is the girl showing affection only.. Imagine I saw her mms their photo to his handphone and stated there "FOREVER LOVE"
                                Although they are not intimate but still , yet he can say she use photoshop to make this out..... Very much wanted to kick him out of my life, but everytime the thought of my kids asking for their daddy, make me change my mind..... But I told him and myself that it will really be the last chance for the both of us already..

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