Postnatal Depression

[kittyminkie]

Hi all,

Has anyone here experienced postnatal depression?

I gave birth to a healthy baby girl in early April; she is almost two months old now. However, when she was born, I felt nothing for her. In fact, to be honest, when I was pregnant, I didn't feel anything for the baby within me. I thought a bond would develop once she was born...but nothing.

Then I thought it was just baby blues and I would love her with all my heart after the first few days. Well, things got worse and worse after that. I find myself detached from her and I keep experiencing crying spells and panic attacks. When she is sleeping, I dread the moment when she wakes up. I don't sleep well and my appetite is non-existent. I can get so stressed, my fingers tremble. Sometimes, to be brutally honest, I resent her. Isn't it shocking? I'm not enjoying motherhood at all.

My husband works overseas so I'm alone in SG. My mother stays over at night to keep me company. I've told her how I feel and I suspect I may be having PND but she thinks PND is "pure nonsense". But I know myself. And I know I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Anyone experienced PND before? What did you do to overcome, or at least work through it?? I really want to enjoy being a mother...

[Beautfied11]

i truly understand what you are going through especially when your husband is not by your side. I had a similar experience.. i was screaming at my baby on the 2nd night when we were back from the hospital as she was crying non-stop and was always hungry. Luckily my mom was helping me with the confinement and quickly carried the baby away for fear that I might hurt her. At times, when no one is at home, just my looking at her, can trigger emotions in me, I would be crying, wondering if I had done the right thing by bringing her into the world, hearing her crying non-stop in my dreams etc...

I would suggest that you visit your gynae as she will be the best person to identify your problems. This is because you are a mother for the 1st time and it is normal to feel this way as its a change in lifestyle and you will need emotional support to undergo this new chapter of your life.

[ksychan]

kittieminkie - PND is not pure nonsense. It's very real and can be detrimental to you and your daughter's overall well-being. Suggest you speak to a professional (like your gynae as suggested) and see what treatment may help. Another thing to do is to get around similar new mothers so that you can form a support group and help encourage each other along the way. It's unfortunate your hubby's not around to help out. You also should have a good heart-to-heart talk with him to let him know how you feel. Do not fret - there's nothing shameful about seeking help. It's definitely not easy being a first-time mum and having to deal with your physical changes and emotions. It's great that you're not in denial and accepting that you may have this condition. Seeking help now will definitely help you in the long term.

[bebe75]

I suffered PND when my 2nd child was abt 6 mths old. It did not matter if you are a first time mother. The overwhelming emotional havoc was too much for me to handle, coupled with work stress - everything seemed too big, too heavy, too complex for me to handle. I lost my confidence, and I believed I failed my role as a mother, wife and employee. Though my hubby tried to help, I snapped at him. Not that I wanna but I could not help it. I blamed him for everything, including the kids. He asked me to seek help, but I refused cos I thought I could handle it better and the PND will just phrase out by itself.

I lost weight considerably and suffered from insomnia. And when the helpess and hopeless feeling was too overwhelming for me, I thought of dying. The suicidal part was too terrifying and my hubby refused to leave me alone by myself.

During my visit to my GP to get sleeping pills, I broke down and cried in her clinic. My GP suspected that I might be having PND. She gave me 3 days MC to excuse from work, prescribed Vit B and C for me. She also gave me some SOS helpline. She told me the first step to recovery is to acknowledge that there is an issue. I had to come to term and accept treatments accordingly. She said I had to nurse back my health, eat well and sleep well before I can take care of my baby. I took her advice and with the support from my hubby, re-arrange my schedules, learn to prioritise tasks and roles, seek help from my boss to offload my work, engage cleaners to do housekeeping, spend time with hubby, learn to relax.

kittyminkie, so please heed the advice and seek medical help. It is good that you have identified the "problem" and trying to tackle it. You do not have to fight this alone..let yr hubby know, let yr mother know as well.

[gem]

kittyminkie, PND is not rubbish or nonsense. Please seek help asap. See a GP or talk to your gynae or anyone else. Call your hubby and speak to him. Don't settle this alone as it will grow into something worse.

Most mummies will have PND at certain point in time as baby is borned and it was hard to juggle sleep deprived days with a crying child. You need as much support as possible. Meantime if necessary, let your mom take care of your girl meantime while you get this sorted out. I am not saying you will hurt the child, but sometimes one may feel so upset that they will unknowingly vent it on the baby.

[kittyminkie]

Thank you all for your encouragement and support There are good days and bad days. On good days, I feel like everything's fantastic but on bad days, it can get really, really, really depressing. There seems to be more bad days than good though...

Will talk to my OB and update again.