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Love Affair

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  • Love Affair

    I've been thinking (and struggling) for quite some time, and I really with to hear advices from you all. TIA

    what if one day you realise that some other unimportant things had taken over you in your bf/gf's life? for example, games? what will you do and how will you react? My bf was busy with projects, exams before his exams, and spent little time on his games. although he dont spend much time on me, at least we have some quality time together. he told me that he's sorry for being MIA and he promised that he will spent more time on me but things doesn't turn out what he promised. he is so into the game and we seldom meet up, seldom chat. i can feel that our r/s is falling apart and when i told him about it, he just laughed away and said it's nothing. in the past, he will either be punctual or even earlier, now he's forever late. in the past, either we work out what we will do that day, plan together, or take turns to plan, now, i'm the one who's planning. in the past, if there's nothing we can do, standing one side and talk and also hugging seems so nice, now, we will chat for about 10 mins before we enter the cinema, after that, he will meet his group of khakis and talk about games again. I am really very upset about it, and oh yes, i am very jealous about this. jealous about his game, his friends, they seemed more important than me. i wanted to find a chance to have a heart-to-heart talk with him, but he told me what i want to say can say now (MSN). but when i'm saying, he's gaming too and he will reply me a few words after a very long time. Will you initiate a breakup with him? i did think of breaking up, but it's very heartaching, so i held back and i kept thinking of giving him chances.

    Thanks for listening to me ranting down here, I will appreciate all suggestions/advices given. Past experiences are also welcome. once again, thanks
    Last edited by nicole; 17-11-2003, 10:32 AM.

  • #2
    Go over to his house. Shut down the darn com... n make him sit rite infront of U and start talking.....


    • #3
      Hmmm ... I've had a boyfriend who's somewhat like that before .. I just dumped him after I got sick of everything. But that's just how I am.


      • #4

        I used to have an ex-bf like that too. He would game till 6am in the morning and he could be late for an hour. Called so many times and when he picked up his damned phone, he was still in bed at 4pm.

        He could make me go hungry without eating anything for the entire day just because he was sleeping. I would wait stupidly at his house while he's sleeping. Nothing edible in his house.

        Worst...he lost touch with the real world and turn abusive (somewhat).

        We talked but in the end, I still dumped him.

        If this man is so insensitive to you and can't be bothered, what's the point??? Ask yourself, "For what?"

        You don't need a man like him. If he still can't wake up after a talk, ask him to get a life and DUMP him! Save some dignity for yourself no matter how much you love him.


        • #5
          have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him what you're feeling. maybe he doesn't understand how obsessed he is with his gaming.


          • #6
            The extreme end that u can go is go over his place to his room- take his computer and unplug it or whatever so he cant operate it. and then all this before saying, NOW CHOOSE! do u want THIS or ME?

            OR u can get all your friends to send him viruses....hahaa. so that his com is so infected that he cant play anymore..then again, thats ASSUMING he checks his emails..hmm.

            OR just ignore him and NOT call or contact him for a week. IF he doesnt call you, then u know the next move is DUMP him. IF he does call u , since this is to attract his attention, get him to meet you as an ultimum, and warn him that if hes late by even ONE second, u will leave and never return! (and mean what u say!) from this, if u never meant much to him, u'll know that he wont turn up and hes not worth it.

            Tell yourself, you dont lose anything out. He does. And which guy in the right frame of mind would choose a dead computer over a babe like you? now thats a guy thats not just blind, but also cold-hearted and dumb. Obviously, if he keeps this attitude, he will never KEEP or FIND a decent job, and neither will he ever CHANGE after marriage or kids... so whats the deal? There are many guys i know who love games, but they will drop everything to have lunch with a girl they like and love. Its a matter of sense and priority. They know that the girl makes them more happy than games. NOW thats your litmus test- Happiness. Gauge it against this com-obsessed man now.... its very easy. In fact, the way u say it, the answers are all in black and white.

            Hope u find a guy that HATES games and LOVES u! lol.


            • #7
              i say ignore him for a well
              say you need to think about the relationship

              if he thinks it is not an issue playing games and ignoring u..
              something is B.L.O.O.D.Y wrong with him! :piss:

              hmmm, you should sit down and talk to him
              and then if he doesnt listen and reflect on his actions, you are better off without him...


              • #8
                i'm sorry to hear about such treatment dear

                i think this guy doesn't deserve your attention any longer. perhaps he is just waiting for you to initiate the breakup so he does not have to be a bad guy. pulling out of this is the best thing you can do for yourself. IMO, he sounds like he doesn't care anymore.... don't do this to yourself, okay?


                • #9
                  If a guy truly loves a girl, he won't treat her this way. He should be very happy to be around her and spending time with her. (just my opinion)

                  Don't let anyone take you for granted. If he doesn't cherish the love you share, then why should you (hee... just my opinion again)


                  • #10
                    hugz. things will get better.

                    how long have the 2 of you been together? i've gone through something similar but i'm still with him. to be honest, i'm not sure if it was the right decision. my friends all tell me to dump him though. it all depends on you, your personality and your relationship with him.

                    my bf was gaming ( MSN online too ) like crazy while we were schooling, every single day! initially i got on the craze and played along but lost interest after sometime. like raebelasian, food was the last thing on his mind, but that's pretty mild. i got really upset when 1) i was napping one day in his bedroom and his friends came in to PLAY computer game. he didnt tell them to stop.. when i asked, he said his friend's computer was too slow :piss: 2) i had an exam the next day and went to bed early. woke up in the middle of the night with him playing AGAIN. apparently his friend took his computer.... the last straw is very private so i rather keep that to myself.

                    like the girls suggested, i did stomp into his room, sat in front of the damn monitor while he was playing, and shouted. trust me, you will want to do it.. looking at him and the comptuer is enough for you to see fire. ended up he didnt realise how neglected i was feeling, little hints didnt register so it had to be a big show down to jot him.

                    like i said earlier, what you decide to do will depend alot on yourself. i will say that one vice will turn into another. he can love you but still be crazy over his things.. its just be that he doesnt know how to show it. However, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a guy who loves you but doesn't express it the way YOU want and need.....



                    • #11
                      it's rather unusual for someone to be this addicted to his games, isn't it? maybe you should talk to him and find out if there's something in his real life that he is avoiding, or if he simply doesn't know or care that you're feeling neglected?

                      you sound like a really nice and patient girl, so cheer up and be strong find out what exactly is wrong and good luck to you!


                      • #12
                        i hate talking to someone on msns when they are playing games..... :piss:

                        a talk might do wonders for you. but the problem will be how are you going to get him to talk... gamers can game the entire day... then sleep... leaving no time for the two of you to talk. going to his house and telling him that both of you need a talk might be quite useless. he will be telling you to wait, and you will be there forever waiting....

                        if can talk --> talk.

                        talk already finds that he does nothing to help revive the relationship --> dump him....


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by snowstar
                          how long have the 2 of you been together?

                          we have been together for 4 months


                          • #14
                            Hi all, thanks for all the replies

                            after a talk with him, (online, he's not free to meet me just for a talk ) it seems that a lot of things happened because of me. for example, he said i didn't tell him all my problems and he dont know if i want attention in chatting online, or meet more. actually, i want both. i want to meet up more, if not, how to communicate more? also, he dont phone me, because his room dont have a phone and he dislike talking in the living room. and since he had started gaming, SMS had been getting lesser and lesser. the only time we are able to chat will be MSN only. regarding the 'complaints' he had made about me, i really didn't hide any problem from him, it's just that sometimes i'm tired, i'm very very tired but he knows that i am tired but he still thought i have problems hiding from him.


                            • #15
                              girl, IMO he is trying to place the blame on you. i honestly find his reasons for not chatting with you on the phone or meeting you or not SMSing you unexcusable. :shout:

                              i think since talking to him seems to have hit a blank wall, i think it's time you start thinking for yourself