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Holiday Romance - Forget about it?

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  • Holiday Romance - Forget about it?

    Hey gals,

    Would appreciate any of your views or a different perspective

    It does sound a bit nonsensical haha but it I've been contemplating for some time if I should talk about this openly and I finally found the guts to do so!

    Earlier this year, I was in France as an exchange student and during my last few weeks there I met someone about 10 years older. Surprisingly, we seem to connect well and .... I won't say we had a relationship, perhaps a short romance was what you would call it.

    We both understood implicitly that it wasn't something we can carry on but yet he made me promise to keep in touch
    It's been 5 months and we still keep in touch by email, although the frequency is decreasing.
    I just wonder if it is worth keeping the connection. My understanding was that we'll be in touch as platonic friends but I do detect a different tone from his mails so it confuses me. I ask him questions like how I'll ask a friend...about work, daily life etc... but he doesn't say much apart from reminiscing the time we had. As romantic as it sounds but it does sound begin to sound shallow over time. Maybe he doesn't express himself well in written English (neither can communicate effectively in French) ... but I don't know how our friendship stands.

    I'm also afraid of developing deeper feelings since we're far apart, hence I wanted to keep it platonic after I left.

    Would you just forget about it? Or keep the friendship?

    Thanks ladies and I'm sorry if I'm boring any of you with this.
    Last edited by popsicle; 18-11-2003, 01:30 AM.

  • #2
    popsicle, did you talk to him about your concern?? i suggest you talk to him abt it. maybe like you said, he couldn't express very well in written or mayb sound formal you might think bringing the issue on the table might spoil the relationship, but isn't it better to get eveything clear than you guessing ard?? especially since it's a distance relationship, time spent with each other is lesser and your stay in France lasted only a few weeks, that could be the possibility why he would only talked abt the romantic time that both of you had spent together


    • #3
      Depends on you, girl, what do you really want? There's no harm being friends, but if you're the type who will grow attached to him, then maybe you should try to steer the conversation away from anything romantic?

      Otherwise, I think its rather difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship like this, cos you two didn't really have a solid foundation. Also, do you plan to work in / move to France in a couple of years' time, or is he planning to stay long-term in Singapore?

      Personally, I would probably just take it easy and maintain a casual and platonic friendship, and get on with my life as usual. HTH


      • #4
        Hi Pops!

        I've known and dated older men for as long as I can remember and my advice to you is, unless you can play the game well, just maintain a platonic friendship.

        He's probably married and with kids but still wants his cake and eat it, IMO.
        Older men are usually not looking for anything serious with younger girls, esp foreign girls.
        Please do not pin too much hope on this man.
        Older men are good are sweet-talking and manipulating the feelings of vulnerable younger women.

        Just treat him as a good platonic friend whom you can chat with occasionally, catch up once in a while


        • #5
          Thanks a bunch everyone!

          Candee> Yeah I see your point about clarifying things but I don't think I'll bring it might help if I'm pursuing a long distance relationship and in this case, I think its level headed not to. Besides, I don't even know if I'll ever see him again.

          So I guess I'll still keep him as a can never have too many friends right?


          • #6
            Originally posted by popsicle
            So I guess I'll still keep him as a can never have too many friends right?
            yup, you're right