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I feel so used!

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  • I feel so used!

    recently i feel that people have been using me or taking advantage of me. its like they always ask me what homework we have to do. dont they bother to remember? and am i here because im their walking diary, always there to remind them? its not like they cant remember a simple thing?
    another thing. we have this online thing in our school where we log on and check stuff. previously quite long time ago i helped my friend find out his username and passoword (some people can be so dumb). and just only he asked me if i remebered his username and password. so im like thinking...why didnt u bother to remember it urself? :piss: its not like my duty to remember it for you. AHhhhhhh im going insane. there are several occasions where people ask me homework stuff. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. do u think its wrong of me to get angry? but really once is alright but its getting out of hand.

  • #2
    If I were you I will just tell them to get a notebook for themselves and jot down whatever they need to know. They can't always rely on someone to remember things for them. Ask the person "Do you need me to remind you when to go to the loo?" They should get the hint.


    • #3
      People can only use and take as much advantage of you as you allow them to.


      • #4
        i think standing up for yourself would be a good idea. just put your foot down. get mildly pissed off or at least let them know you feel taken for granted. you don't have to throw a hissy fit, but just let them know you're miffed the only way for people to realise they're stepping on your toes is if you point it out to them


        • #5
          mango said it best. How people treat you depends on how you let them.

          Most girls are too easygoing and helpful because that's how we're brought up to be. But if you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, do refuse. it's better to tell people outright that you don't want to help (just say firmly, 'No, I don't remember.') rather than agree and be unhappy about it. Afterall, some people are genuinely obtuse and don't understand that others will get unhappy if troubled too much. their reasoning is that since you agreed to help, you must not mind right? so give them the benefit of the doubt and just politely refuse. if they still bug you then go ahead and


          • #6
            hee i used to be like u faeriedust...
            friends i know tends to think bcos i am easygoing so they do take advantage of it
            i used to get so pissed but now i am used to it and i learn to say "NO" and also "hey u mean u cant remember ur own affairs?"
            (i do it in a jokingly manner)


            • #7
              thankyou for your advice. usually they ask me on msn. so i'll pretend to put my status as busy. at least that'll keep them away.

              there's another thing too. i dont have a close friend in class. other people have got their own friends and groups to hang out with. so im always alone. i dont have anyone to sit beside in lectures. i just occupy any vacant seat. sometimes i wish i could have a classmate who is close to me. there's this girl in my class. she's rather nice and i can talk to her. but she's also close with another girl. so usually she and the other girl sit together and do stuff together. they say 3 is a crowd. i think its true. what to do? i dont talk to much people in the class. they're those kind of lame and joking kinda people. definately not my type. im more serious.
              sometimes i cant stand my class. they're quite lazy and dont do homework. then we end up getting scolded for not doing so. a lot fo teachers are very unhappy with us. its my fault for not doing better for 0s and i could have gotten into a better class. the school puts people in classes according to our 0 level aggregate.


              • #8
                no close friend?
                must the friend be in the same class as u?

                seriously i say loosen up abit !
                life is too short to be serious....
                sometimes looking at things in a different direction might help!

                hmmm lazy pple?
                wow i am a lazy person too but that doesnt mean i dont make a good friend

                perhaps their priorities might be different from you and i think it is up to see things in a different way!

                oh u seem unhappy IMO errr, talk to me if u want?
                heee, play hard and study hard man!


                • #9
                  my good friend is in another class but i hardly get to see her.
                  haha i can be serious and not so serious at the right time. they're never serious. when it's down to doing homework, they just cant be bothered. well not all but some of them...actually like most of them?
                  i dont mean lazy people dont make a good friend. im lazy too but in certain aspects. maybe im just different from them. previously my class in sec school, my classmates are all motivated and hardworking. so im not used to this environment


                  • #10
                    so are you unhappy that you have no friends? Or what? But then, you don't like them anyway, isn't it? :huh:


                    • #11
                      i have no friends in the class. i seldom talk to my classmates. when we talk, we cant keep a conversation going. i wish i could make a close friend in class. but its hard. its not that i dont like them. they're just not my kind. those are the ones i'll try not to get too close. there are 1 or 2 which are okay. those are the ones im keen to be friends with.


                      • #12
                        hmmm u choose friends, friends also choose u

                        i find that with making friends, the important thing is to be open-minded and not to be judgmental


                        • #13
                          Actually its not very complicated- there are 1-2 in your class who shares same frequency with you, so there you have! As for the rest, you don't like them that much anyway, so erm..what is the delima? Seems like you've got everything figured out?


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by natnatviv
                            hmmm u choose friends, friends also choose u

                            i find that with making friends, the important thing is to be open-minded and not to be judgmental
                            ITA. i know how you feel faeriedust. i didn't have many close friends in class, but if you reach out to them first they'll respond for sure that's what i did.

                            i think the thing here is you're judging them before you truly get to know them, by saying things like "they're never serious" and you feel that they're always getting you in trouble. instead of lamenting that you can't find someone like you in class, why not open up your mind and make new and interesting friends? friends don't have to be "your kind".

                            i have many friends whom i thought wouldn't be "my kind" and i was reluctant to make the first move to get to know them at first. but once you get to know them , you'll find that people often will surprise you by how outgoing/friendly/similar to you they actually are.


                            • #15
                              When I was in my JC, I could not click with my class mates. They were all very "westernized". Eg they sang English pop songs and like to watch hollywood movies. I was more Chinese....don't really know many Hollywood stars/singers.

                              I was a loner during recess and rest time in school. Even if I was with them, I could not get into their conversation. During the 1st year, I was really miserable so I buried myself with school works and stayed in the library all the time (in the end became the "brainy" girl in the class).

                              Luckily I managed to meet three girls from another class. Although our timetables were not the same, but we always try to be together during recess and lunch. I was completely changed!

                              Three is not a crowd. Who knows? The other girl may also be glad that she is able to know you better too.