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  • Over 30 and single

    I'll just like to get to know anyone who might be on the same boat?

    I've tried and tried so hard these past 5 years. My main problem is not having enough friends as base to start with, often the friends recommended guys are the best. I've tried sdu, online, everything I can think of and failed.

    There are a lot more girls than guys in this world. I am just thinking to myself as well, if I'm going to be unmarried, I won't have to act so responsible anymore. I'll do the lowly paid jobs which I like.. and pursue more hobby courses..

    Money will run out very fast. Once I've done my duty to my mother and I've done whatever I've wanted to do in this world, maybe it's time to go. Not now, perhaps I'll finish at 45. i don't think I'll regret it How many married people have said they have done whatever they want to do even when they have a family?

  • #2
    There are more and more singles out there. There's really nothing wrong with it. Different people have different missions in life. Finding a partner to settle down with isn't the necessary thing you need to do. More importantly, you are creating value in other people's lives.

    We depend on no one but ourselves for happiness, even for those who are attached. You'll find yourself constantly feeling deprived when we rely on others for happiness.

    And at the end of the day, better single than with the wrong one. Jiayou!

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    • #3
      yes totally agree - better single, than stuck with wrong one!

      anyway, nowadays its not such a stigma anymore to be unmarried, esp. at 30ish, so common !

      what matters is you're happy - doing what you do, in life!

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      • #4
        being attached or married not necessary mean one is happy.. i have a friend, who is in her late 30s, she is attrative though. but she cannot bring herself to have a bf because, she knows she is the type who is 'habitual'. for example, if the guy meets her everyday during dating period. then one day, he said he wants to go out with friends, she will feel uncomfortable... its her, she knew it. now, she is enjoying her single life, working and having holidays with family and friends.

        just go with the flow... sometimes, things happen when you least expects it.

        cheers!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by sassification View Post
          yes totally agree - better single, than stuck with wrong one!

          anyway, nowadays its not such a stigma anymore to be unmarried, esp. at 30ish, so common !

          what matters is you're happy - doing what you do, in life!
          in other words: better find the one that you really feel the connection with or be a single

          That's my philosophy... My mum had a headache last time (She still is)

          As long as you are happy as it is, single or attached does not matter....

          Life is so short... Live the life you want and be responsible ....

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          • #6
            What I have slowly realised is, do not feel dejection. It can get dangerous and affects the way you behave among people. Negative vibes attract negative vibes, vice versa. I'm about the same, late 20s, single and totally relying on waiting for the right guy to appear. Haha. To be honest, I'm kind of lazy to scour around to meet people but I kind of wish i still have the zest and energy when I was younger to go out to meet people. Now, I am happy to have a lot of time for myself, doing things I enjoy doing or come out with challenges for myself. I wouldn't say I am content, but I am living life like how I feel like living at this moment. If I feel like going out, I go out. If I feel like sleeping in and do nothing, I do nothing. There is no one (other than my parents) who is going to comment on my strange antics and so on. Although it is still nice to have someone around when you need the presence. But, I wouldn't rush into a relationship or look around for someone to begin a relationship with just because I feel I want someone. I am a highly insecure person so I need someone I can trust and rely on. I kind of figured what kind of men I want/ like so if I meet the guy, I will get to know him in-depth slowly. I don't plunge into a relationship, I think I'm too vulnerable. Like many who said in this post, it is better to be single than to be stuck with the wrong person. Such damage is bigger.

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            • #7
              Well... there are still good men out there. It's worth the wait for the right person in your life than to spend a lifetime with the wrong one.

              Some of my friends attended sdu events/online chat and have found their SOs. For those who are interested to consider, you may try this avenue to widen your social network.

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              • #8
                Ppl say that the harder u try to look for a partner, the less likely you're gonna find one. I kinda think its true, actually. I got together with my bf during my "break" when i was sick of meeting childish guys and jerks and decided to "take a break" from relationships.

                When u approach a person as a friend rather than a potential partner, you will tend to be more relaxed, laid-back and have a better chance of knowing whether you've found Mr.Right. If the personality matches, than the "friendship" can move on to something more.

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                • #9
                  i am 18 and never been on a date.
                  my instincts tell me that i will be single for a while. might never have a BF!

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                  • #10
                    I think life has a funny way of reminding us that regardless of how hard you look, it'll appear at the moment you least expect it.

                    I am turning 28 and to be honest, I don't consider myself ever being attached before. Have gone on dates, but that's about it. And just when I was about to give up, I met my current SO at a work event, on the very day when I'm totally not dressed up and looking really terrible. And still, the attraction was so strong that we ended up together on our first date. I wasn't expecting anything when leaving my comfort zone to pursue what I believe in, but then I think 'above' has been looking out for me, and I feel totally blessed.

                    So I say, don't fret and just let it happen. Find time to do things that you like, and things that make you feel happy. Read this in a book, when you attracts, it'll attract. Have fun enjoying life.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by princess101 View Post
                      i am 18 and never been on a date.
                      my instincts tell me that i will be single for a while. might never have a BF!
                      your instinct may be wrong. There is still a long way to go
                      In 10 years, perhaps your perspective will change...

                      Just enjoy every day, dear...

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                      • #12
                        Agreed... there's bound to be pros n cons in being a single or attach or married... If chose the wrong one, you might regret and suffer after that...

                        I will be 34 tomorrow though... and still single.. Perhaps due to marriage failure, I have not much confidence in rs or even marriage after that... For me now, is more to find someone who share the common hobbies or likes and enjoy the comfortability of both together...

                        Better to say a Platonic or Buddy...over a r/s

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by princess101 View Post
                          i am 18 and never been on a date.
                          my instincts tell me that i will be single for a while. might never have a BF!
                          18 is still so young!

                          Enjoy your life to the fullest!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Drunken_Donuts View Post
                            I think life has a funny way of reminding us that regardless of how hard you look, it'll appear at the moment you least expect it.

                            I am turning 28 and to be honest, I don't consider myself ever being attached before. Have gone on dates, but that's about it. And just when I was about to give up, I met my current SO at a work event, on the very day when I'm totally not dressed up and looking really terrible. And still, the attraction was so strong that we ended up together on our first date. I wasn't expecting anything when leaving my comfort zone to pursue what I believe in, but then I think 'above' has been looking out for me, and I feel totally blessed.

                            So I say, don't fret and just let it happen. Find time to do things that you like, and things that make you feel happy. Read this in a book, when you attracts, it'll attract. Have fun enjoying life.
                            Omg, this is so true! Love comes when it is the least expected. That's the beauty of it.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              happy bday peacing!

                              i agree with what u said, people tend to b more paranoid over r/s after failed r/s, marriages etc. a lot of friends tell me, time will heal.. but i wonder how long will it take to get over a 8.5yrs r/s...


                              Originally posted by peacing View Post
                              Agreed... there's bound to be pros n cons in being a single or attach or married... If chose the wrong one, you might regret and suffer after that...

                              I will be 34 tomorrow though... and still single.. Perhaps due to marriage failure, I have not much confidence in rs or even marriage after that... For me now, is more to find someone who share the common hobbies or likes and enjoy the comfortability of both together...

                              Better to say a Platonic or Buddy...over a r/s

                              Comment

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