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Wedding invitation - when to send?

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  • Wedding invitation - when to send?

    i think its customary that as long as the person invites u, u will have to pack an ang pao be it u go or not. that was the way i remember it to be so because mum says a place and food has been reserved for the guest. so its only polite to pack the ang pao. not very sure if youngsters do this now.

  • #2
    I heard my colleague mentioned before: Most people will only pay ang pow if they have received the invitation card but can't attend. If you have informed the couple that you are not able to attend when they ask verbally or before sending card, then you don't need to pay the ang pow. :roll:


    • #3
      Originally posted by Shon
      If you have informed the couple that you are not able to attend when they ask verbally or before sending card, then you don't need to pay the ang pow. :roll:
      Yes. thats what I heard from friends. In this case, a seat is not given/reserved for them so there is no need to give ang pow. Anyway, my frend told me that some of her friends said they are going but in the end didnt turn up. Once they didnt turn up and didnt ask anyone to pass the ang bao to u, then they wont give u another when they see u again etc.

      In this case, its best to invite only close friends. You dont invite classmates or friends who you didnt contact for years. Out of sudden expect them to turn up for yr wedding and give u an angbao. So to them, giving angbao to such person (no close r/s) is a waste of $ and time. They might as well keep the money to eat something good elsewhere.

      Also, last time people are sincere to give out wedding cards. They delivered it to yr door step. Now, its by post. So to some people, sending out by post and expecting u to attend the wedding to give the angbao (remember r/s is not close) is quite ..... :roll: unacceptable. I am one of those that think this way too. Unless its my good friend and I know she cant deliver to my place, I wont mind.
      Last edited by VinLongo; 27-12-2004, 08:25 PM.


      • #4
        ya if seat not reserved then dont need to give ang pao.


        • #5
          VinLongo, I agree with you too. I hate people invite you in last minute..... This happened to my bf. One of his old schoolmates invited him mid Nov for his wedding. However, the wedding is in mid Dec. So we both wonder why that friend invited us so late... Normally, the invitation should be few months before the dinner, Card will be received about a month ago the dinner. So we feel that the friend was doing last minute "backup" to fill up the empty seat. Somemore, bf is not very close to him. The venue is in a 5-star hotel ***...... in Sentosa....

          At the end, bf rejected the invitation as bf was not free on that day also. However, the 1st impression that we got is that it is a very last minute invitation. It is not so sincere. Bf didn't pay any ang pow.


          • #6
            some of my friends only start calling up the month before the actual wedding dinner. they had in mind when planning to invite certain people. THey called only 1 month in advance to check - if i can make it then they send the card. I suppose it looks abit last minute.

            2 friends i never forgave.

            1 was someone (A) who had my email address but lost HP & Tel numbers. & out common classmate (B) whom i was closer to was getting married. I did not followup to contact her as her ROM was 2 yrs ago & i kept asking A when customary - no news. So I remained uncontactable. & I missed her (B) wedding. A knew also where exactly i workedm its so central could have just called the security/property management of my building to ask what company I worked in.

            ANother was a girl who keeps saying she knows me well & likes me (i dont give a damn who she is as she 'thinks' she knows me but failed to tell me from where, just that i am very familiar) A common friend got married - i was invited to ROM, sat at the wrong place - sat too near the car park & they were more over the fort canning park side. They left without me for lunch & when i called the bride later - i had to take a cab there to the lunch place myself. This other so called know me well girl then said I though i saw her *** at the ROM but i so busy I did not call her.

            What kind of excuse is that? I was the match maker of this couple & was quite put off with this so called friend's remarks.


            • #7
              My friend wedding is a fast one But she still managed to contact everyone 1 month or so before the wedding... I received her bomb only 2wks before the wedding! Ok for me though because we are on very good terms and I dont mind it at all. Her hubby has started calling up everyone 2-3wks before the banquet to confirm attendence. However, some still didnt show up when they promised to.

              Shon's case sound as if the bf is made to be the 'spare tyres'. I feel that the married couple should just reduce the table and add on for the reservation table if they are worried more people will turn up for the wedding. I will certainly not attend such last min dinner. If good friends, okay I dont mind. Otherwise, no. Thank you.

              Vit C,

              I guess perhaps A dont know yr full name or what you are being called in the company? Maybe she's thinking there's more than one VitC in XXX company and she never think of HR


              • #8
                Yes, agree. If he/she is my close friend, I don't mind he/she call me a month or less than that before the dinner. This is because I know they sure will invite me. So sometimes, the sincerity is very important because the guests can feel it.

                For Vit_c's case, I can see the couples didn't take care the guests well. That's why I will only invite close friends to my ROM. For wedding dinner, I have to follow my parent's opinion as they got more relatives than I.


                • #9
                  Sorry to poke in, but got a question to ask - What is an appropriate time frame when giving out wedding dinner invitations?

                  I always thought 2 weeks before is the norm? no ?


                  • #10
                    I think about 1 month before. I received several invitations before. All came about 1 month before the dinner...... coz have to give the guests some times to manage their schedule. Meanwhile, the couple are still able to call up to check the attendance.


                    • #11
                      2 weeks? I think that's too SHORT! I'm not sure if I'm wrong here but I thought one will have to confirm the no. of tables and standby? tables for the banquet 1-3wks before the wedding? This is to allow the couple to call up with guests and change their banquet size if neccessary.

                      Also, 2 weeks might be too short to 'book' yr friend/relatives for the wedding dinner unless you announce it and have broadcaster to help u spread the news. ..:shout: ... but still you will have to let the friends/relatives know that they are on the list so that they can be mentally/phyiscally prepared. I guess anything from 4-6wks is fine.


                      • #12
                        Oh silly me!

                        I had always thought 2 weeks is the norm? My parents seem to receive invitations around that period too. For myself, i'd also received a wedding dinner invitation also 2 weeks before the event.

                        In fact, i remember my parents receiving a invitation 1 mth before the event and my mum was saying 1 month is so long, she might just forget about it.


                        • #13
                          I was some how told to call friends up about 1-1.5 mths ahead then if they are going then send them a invite (u know these invites are not 100% free from the hotel/restaurant) this also helps the couple guage how many people will eventually turn up & to preliminary do the seating arrangement.

                          Be prepared however that friends will want to take some time to chat with you so try to spare 5-10mins per friend for a chat - I usually try not to chat so much as i know they are busy but close friends/long lost no contact friends you tend to catch up abit - its only normal.

                          MY SO was saying its even rude if we hurry through the table photo session - you need to spend time to mingle & make small talk. or let people congratulate you. We started on this when i read in Her World brides - how to enoy your dinner - get the photographer to finish faster or also have a longer cocktail so that you can spend time taking pictures with your guests & talk.

                          i read that some hotels are giving the couple a lover's supper as they understand that you have no time to eat - usually relatives ta bao for you but *** rather messy dont you think? my SO's sis's wedding - they did ta bao but someone else took the boxes away! the groom's mum had ta bao for the couple on their plates then alter asked for boxes - but she put them in the boes then perhaps someone else took it by mistake - left the couple to call for room service.


                          • #14
                            So far I didnt heard abt ta bao for couples' wedding. The norm I heard is the married couples want to tabao the roast pig (without the roast pig skin) for their relatives.

                            As for couples' dinner, normally it wont taste nice even if they pack it after the dinner. too cold and might turn hard. You can always ask the captain to keep the food in the warmer if you really want.


                            • #15
                              I heard of da bao also. But wouldnt the food be cold and difficult to eat? It will be nice that the captain warm up the food thou