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How did/do you know your husband is the right one?

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  • #16
    I just got ROM this march. Will be having our customary next yr. When i realised i cannot live without him, i proposed to him...


    • #17
      I think for me... erhmm... i have dated quite a number of guys before i finally settled for my hubby. It's through all those failed relationship that i know what type of a guy i would want to spend my whole life with. My hubby taught me a lot, and learn how to love all over again. And most importantly, he had taught me that my other half is one who will make me a better person, who will walk with me through my darkest and happiest moment without letting go no matter what..


      • #18
        I dated my husband for 10 yrs before we got married, now married for 3 years. You can ask yourself the question ' if he's the one' and convince yrself that he's the one. But life is still a gamble. I always ask myself so what if I think he is the one. The many cases of divorces/extra-marital affairs have proven that you never know what will hapen a few years down the road. I always tell my husband that if he does not love me anymore, please tell me 1st. I do not want to know from someone else.

        I am still happily married with a 1 yr son though.


        • #19
          i agree with Cindy... though it'll be painful, but better to hear it from SO than third party.


          • #20
            i guess its true like what Sassylass has mentioned..sounds bizzarre..but as you go through a series of replationships...i think u will know if he is THE ONE when you are with him..personally, i have a gone through a fair share of current bf is my 5th bf and i think he is the right person for me..


            • #21
              2 nights before my wedding, one of friend actually asked me, how i know this man is the THE ONE for me?

              Actually I find that as girls we have an advantage of having an extra sense (besides the 5 senses), the sixth sense AKA "intuition". However, I often feel that we tend to underuse this sixth sense that can help us at times especially when in making decisions.

              This sixth sense is the one that helps us to sense something is wrong with this person, or sensing something bad is going to happen, etc... I am sure this is not new to most of us, gals.

              To use this sixth sense in a right amt "will make us a good leader", asserted by a guest in Oprah's show who was named as one of US top 10 most successful women. I totally agree. Of course when we overly use this sixth sense, some people would say we are overly sensitive.

              In my 7 years of courtship with my hubby, we had uncountable obstacles to face. Just to name a few, my parents nasty objection against him for 6 years, character clashes, family background clashes, my personal problems, different expectations, etc...

              I remember the numerous times I contemplate in ending the relationship as it was so tough, but somehow deep inside me something tells me this is The Man!!!! Of course this intuition is not purely emotional. The instinct was justified with realising how we both can fill each other in areas that we are lacking in, how we can encourage each other, same goal in life, etc.

              Though in a lot of area we have similar liking, interest, etc... but in a lot of other area we are very different. He's Singaporean, I am not. Different family culture, different exposure, etc. What pulls us through is also actually conviction and commitment, plus for us we have a common God whom we worship and lean on for direction.

              So in my opinion to this topic, trust your sixth sense or woman's instinct, and be committed to go through all the obstacles ahead.

              Life is not a bed of roses. There will be no perfect man in this world.
              Last edited by wnyw; 14-07-2006, 06:45 PM.


              • #22
                i kinda share wnyw's sentiments...if the calling inside is that you feel he's the right one, perhaps all obstacles becomes insignificant...

                For some, I feel that if we can really question (inside our hearts) if this man is the one, then perhaps we need to ask if we really love this one...because if you truly love this man, then this question probably would not surface...other things would be on your mind instead...

                My best friend loves his man so much..she's only waiting for him to propose.


                • #23
                  I think alot depends on knowing what you want...

                  My friend, a journalist, did an article on divorces, and the conclusion from most of the interviewed divorcees is, when you don't know what you want, and relied only on the momentarily rush of emotions, you go into a marriage that will one day take place that both parties (or one) woke up and realised that there's a misalignment in what both actually want. Then, everything falls apart...

                  Sometimes the problem is, how do you know within yourself, that that's really what you want, or it's just influenced by your age, your circumstances.. and since changes are inevitable, how do you handle, in times to come, when the circumstances take on a different stance; probably better, probably worse, and therefore what you want would change again.. So, how do you know what you want now, is really what you want for life?

                  I think i'm confusing myself here.. haha.
                  Last edited by Ribbons; 14-07-2006, 10:12 PM.


                  • #24
                    ever feel the one for you is from your past and although you would love to have him back into your life but he is not ever likely going to be?


                    • #25
                      I think that the reasons why many married couples end up in divorce is the lack of commitment. I've always thought that actually we are in an era where we are fortunate enough to actually have opportunities to choose the life partner we want, compared to our parents or grandparents times when their marriage were through match making. And yet, if we can observe, why are so much less divorces in the older generations' marriages compared to our generation?

                      I've been told how many of these arranged marriage were done. For some lucky ones, they would get to see each other few months before the wedding to get to know each other better. For some, they only got to see each other after the wedding ceremonies. How do such couples maintain their marriage for decades? Do they not face any problems in their marriages? Do they not quarrel? Yes they still did. But what kept them moving was their committment till they die.

                      I've read an article written on this Singapore couple who celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. The reporter asked the couple what was their secret to their blissful marriage? And the husband said, marriage is a lifetime committment and they work together to fulfil that committment together. He also said no matter how difficult their marriage was, the word divorce would never come out of their mouth.

                      I think that the modern couples are lacking of this committment. The vow made is often taken very lightly. And when problems creep into the marriage, running away from the problems often become the chosen alternative, instead of solving it.

                      This is my personal view and thought all this while... What do you all think?


                      • #26
                        sometimes i feel that the vows are made as a form of routine for modern couples, in the heat of love and passion for marriage they made the commitment verbally and legally..


                        • #27
                          Last edited by happybean; 04-06-2007, 11:24 PM.


                          • #28
                            But what happens if things only surface during the marriage, and life itself, not just for one, but both, gets really miserable? What happens if nothing can change the situation; no amount of counselling, or advises, or prayers, because the unhappiness stems from something that is really about the character and lifelong expectations of each other? How to still keep that commitment? How to ensure that there's still happiness in the marriage itself if the process of keeping the commitment because of the vow, is very painful?


                            • #29
                              Some couples do not take the vows seriously thats why they end up divorcing. While some couples cannot really tolerate the other halves anymore. Some people might question: why don't see carefully before marriage? Well, Sometimes, is not a matter of "open big eyes to see" before marriage. It is when the party really let loose of his behaviour and attitude after marriage and that is the time the other party will reckon: hey, why didnt i notice that in the first place in courtship?"


                              • #30
                                alyssali.. agree to that. Sometimes, maybe it's not about not noticing the behaviour earlier, maybe it's having the hope that marriage would change certain things. Maybe it just boils down to communication and if both parties set their heart and mind to change,improve,maintain the relationship enough. Love is not an emotion, it's really a decision. And it certainly takes two hands.