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Maid / Domestic help woes...

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  • Maid / Domestic help woes...


    I have a new maid for about 2 weeks now. My elder ds rejected her. Tried to beat her if she try to do anything for him. I have been teaching him to respect the maid, but he just don't listen.

    What else should I do? I have no idea. Does anyone has similar problem?

  • #2
    Hi daphnehoon!

    I don't have a maid so I have not experienced a situation like yours. However, I think it may be a phase that your boy is going through. Is he very fond of your last maid? If so, maybe he's disliking this new one because he misses the last maid. Or maybe he just isn't used to the new maid yet.

    Perhaps you can set a good example for your son by treating the maid nicely and let him learn from your example? Or buy him books/VCDs that emphasise on kindness? Hope that helps. Good luck!


    • #3
      Liking of first maid went down hill as he grew older... I am not sure why? But not to the extend when he will try to beat my 1st maid. 2nd maid came, ds's attitude changed. Not sure is it becos we keeping scolding the 2nd maid... cos she has gave us lots of problem, now she is back to the agent. 3rd maid, which is current one, we treat her nice... no scolding. but still ds doesn't like her. I have try asking my maid to spend time playing with ds... but no use. I speak to ds nicely, no use. I span him, no use. Don't know how now.

      I really hope it's just a passing phase and this phase quickly pull through.


      • #4
        It's a person to person relationship only your helper can make the relationship better, no use spanking him he wouldn't understand and might even dislike her more.

        Give it more time might just be a passing phrase.


        • #5
          I agree with Ashlee.

          My daughter also does not like my previous maid. She cried when the maid first came to our house, it took quite a few weeks for her to get used to the maid. But for my current maid, my daughter likes her the first time she saw her. I think it is because my current maid has a nice smiling face, and she is very experienced with handling babies and small children, while the first maid has no experience at all.


          • #6
            It has only been 2 weeks, it takes time for both of them to be comfortable with each other.

            In the mean time, try to ask maid to play more with your ds, in your presence and slowly you step away until your ds is comfortable to be alone playing with the maid.


            • #7
              alright will do that...

              hope things will become better and better.

              thanks everyone.


              • #8
                hello mothers... can someone give me pointers on what is the process of getting a foreign maid? Stuff like agent fees, maid's wage, levy, what us as an employer liable for, what the agent liable for. What else that involve all 3 parties concensus?

                I've heard of employer draft out her own contract, basically what she expect the maid to do and got the maid signing the paper before she's hired. The employer wanted to ensure there wouldn't be any misunderstanding in expectations. Anyone did something similar? What do you write?


                • #9
                  Agent fees is usually about $388 for Indonesian maid, $488 for Filipino maid.

                  You will also need to pay about $2000 for the maid's loan. You can pay upfront in cash, or use post dated cheques which is better. This loan will be deducted from your maid's salary over 8 months.

                  An Indonesian maid's salary is now $260 I think, Filipino is $320. For experienced maids you will need to pay more.

                  If you have young children, the maid levy is now $200 a month. More details here.

                  The agent will advise you to buy insurance for the maid, so that you don't have to pay the $5000 bond required by MOM. If you maid runs away, the $5000 will be forfeited, unless you have bought the insurance.

                  Every agent will have their own employment contracts. You need to read every page very carefully. Especially the part when you have to change a maid. Some agency require you to pay levy for the maid for up to 30 days, and $10 per day for their food/lodging, even after you have returned the maid.

                  Here's the guide from MOM.

                  Also note that the maid should only work at the address stated on her work permit card.

                  It is good to list down the rules and regulations for the maid on a piece of paper, and let the maid sign it. If not, the maid may verbally agree to your rules and later forget about it. For example,
                  1. No handphones
                  2. No long fingernails, no painted fingernails
                  3. No cosmetics, not even talcum powder
                  4. Hair must be kept short
                  5. How often she can call home
                  6. Cannot turn on the TV or radio without permission
                  7. Cannot sit or step on employer's bed or sofa

                  It all depends on your personal preference. But I would advise that you to write down as much as possible. For me I also have a detailed timetable for the maid, so she knows what to do at what time.

                  Good luck !
                  Last edited by tamarind; 10-10-2005, 12:24 PM.


                  • #10
                    Thanks tamarind for writing all these... at least now I know where to start my homework in getting a maid. And the homework seems to be quite a lot too!!
                    Luck? yes I sure need it!!

                    btw, I was also told that we have an option to request Phillipino maid to work on Sunday by paying them. What is the amount to pay them to work on their off-days?


                    • #11

                      I am interested to see your detailed timetable for the maid, my current one is going home and I want to prepare for the new one, can I have yours as a reference?


                      • #12
                        For Filipino maids with no off days, the agent will state their salary, usually it is only $10 - $30 more per month.

                        One important thing about the contract. No offence to anyone religious. If you do not like the maid to puasa, have it clearly stated in the contract. Also, always keep one month of the maid's salary, in case you have to buy the air ticket and send her back yourself.

                        GG, ashlee,
                        Here's my timetable. My mother stays with me during the weekdays to help out.

                        6:00am Wake up feed milk to my girl (she can drink herself), and my baby boy. Wash and sterilize milk bottles. Hand wash baby clothes and hang to dry. Hand wash her own clothes, and any kitchen floor towels and hang to dry. She cannot use the washing machine to wash her clothes. Cook oatmeal for my mother for her breakfast. Wipe table tops.

                        8:00am Eat breakfast. Start to prepare porridge for the children.

                        9:00am Bathe my boy

                        10:00am Feed porridge to the children. My mother will feed my girl, my maid will feed my boy.

                        12:00noon Bathe my girl. Cook for herself only and eat lunch. My mother prefers to cook on her own. Then play with the children.

                        2:30pm - 6:00pm The children will sleep. My maid will fold baby clothes, mob the floor, and prepare for dinner for me. Bathe herself.

                        6:00pm Feed the children porridge. Cook dinner for me.

                        8:00pm - 9:00pm Wash all dishes, clean the kitchen and wipe the kitchen floor, must kneel down and use hand to wipe 2 times.

                        9:00pm - 10:30pm Play with the children. Bathe my girl. Clean and wipe my boy.

                        10:30pm Feed the children. Go to sleep.

                        Once a week:
                        1. Wash toilets
                        2. Do marketing
                        3. Change and wash mattress and pillow covers

                        I ask her to wipe the windows and shelves only when she has time. Now with 2 babies she has not wipe for a few months already. No choice have to keep one eye close.

                        I wash me and my hubby's clothes myself, because I prefer to wash dark coloured and light coloured clothes separately, most clothes will put inside the dryer but some need to hang. I am scared that she ruin my clothes so better do it myself. I also iron and fold me and my hubby's clothes.

                        I find that it is better to specify the amount of time for the maid to finish her task, otherwise they will take their own sweet time. I also printed the timetable in both English and Mandarin(for my mother), and have it pasted in a prominent place. This is because my mother complain that my previous maids always said that I ask them to do something (which I didn't) so they cannot take care of the baby. With the timetable my mother knows what they are supposed to do at what time.

                        My current maid can handle the above timetable reasonably well. My mother will help when she needs to cook or eat. I told my maid that when the children are awake, she must play with them, because my mother's legs are no good, cannot crawl or run after them. Any cleaning of the house must be done only after they are asleep.
                        Last edited by tamarind; 10-10-2005, 03:50 PM.


                        • #13
                          Wow that's a pretty detailed post. Greatly appreciate it tamarind. I've heard of the puasa thing too. My mum has asked her maid to postpone her puasa after her work contract ends.


                          • #14
                            Last edited by Medusa; 15-11-2008, 12:36 AM. Reason: .................


                            • #15
                              Standard pay for Indonesian maids had increased since April/May'05 and it's now $280 for all Indonesia maids as sitipulated by the MOM. I am paying $300.

                              Check for MOM website for more information on bringing her in on her own. You need to do quite a lot of paperwork but I think it is doable.

                              All maid expenses, tolietries, food, medical etc are to be borne by the employer. Please check that she is healthy!

                              A set of insurance + security bond + work permit (payable since Oct '05) should range cheapest from $68 (I did it at a maid agency at Bt Timah Shopping Ctr) per set to $150 (NTUC income).

                              Hope that helps.
                              Last edited by duckiee; 26-11-2005, 02:36 PM. Reason: remove quote