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Will u marry a man that loves u or a man that u loves?

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  • Will u marry a man that loves u or a man that u loves?

    In general, a lot of women out there have been having their little fairy tales since they were 10? or even younger...

    Who do not wants a knight in shining armour who can rescue us from our castle?

    But who exactly we need and what do we want exactly?

    I think, Love is about being able to be with the person that u loves and touches your heart. A relationship should be a lifetime of trying. If u marry the man that loves u, are u able to love him eventually?

    Whats your view?

  • #2
    if the love is one on side, either way is also a zero sum gain.....

    many may think to be loved is great...but i know of a friend who married the one who loves her and i see her constantly unhappy with her hubby and at times even ashamed of him cos he is not so good looking. my sympathy for her hubby even though she is my friend.

    the part about constant trying is well-said, cos no matter what courtship is the easy part cos the duration is short. marriage is tough, it's a lifetime of effort required so everything begins with marriage....

    also, we can never find the perfect man, i.e. he will never have all the attributes you want in a spouse and vice versa. it is important to recognise that hence make the effort making more meaningful as well.

    to me, the most important thing to settle with in a spouse is COMFORT. you must be comfortable in him seeing you in good times and bad times and vicer versa...... with all kinds of habits including farting...then that is the guy for you...


    • #3
      Hi Hip Hop

      Ya, and not only comfort, i think its also communication... when u are able to communicate with your man about everything, that is when comfort zone rises and the bond builts...

      sorry to hear about your friend's predicament. I guess she must have her reasons for marrying the man that loves her and not a two way street.

      For me, i've been thru a one party r/s, the man that loves no matter what happens or even what i do, but somehow, its just so tough for a woman to love the man because he loves you...

      sometimes, we just wish, at the snap of a finger, our other half will appear right in front of us, fairy tales as it seems, it will be a happily ever after ending, rather than putting the relationship on a scale and measuring who loves who more...


      • #4
        hi eclipse,

        let's just say if you have not found the right person to settle down, don't just settle for one that loves you.... cos when you meet one that you love...and also fancy you, you will ditch the man who loves's not just you...i think it's only human.

        my friend unfortunately did not meet a mutual attraction guy and settled with one that all friends told her was the best choice she ever had. I think chances of her getting an affair is really high given the circumstances that she committed herself.

        i believe in this world there are at least 10 persons that suits one person but it takes some effort to search them out and if you don't find that match, don't force fit unless you can really feel for the person. measuring who loves who more is an aimless exercise cos love also what if he loves you more today, there is no guarantee it will not change? again the part u mentioned about effort is very very CRITICAL to a long term relationship..

        going off topic here....cos i just saw the program last night.....
        actually i am not adverse to match-making programs, not only you get to enjoy yourself, you may also find someone interesting. after watching 非常男女 last night, think the way to find an opportunity to make friends is not joining...缘来就是你 could be fun? at least there is no need to be shy about anything cos everyone is there for the same reason, to find a suitable half! even if not found, at least there was fun.


        • #5

          Hi Hip Hop...

          Your off topic recommendation is pretty interesting... haha, wonder how many out there really thought of doing that ??

          for myself, i am more stubborn, i rather be with someone i love, then to be with someone who loves me only... posing any threat to this rationale of mine, will be that so what if i love him and wants to be with him, does he feels the same way towards me... well, ppl spent their life worrying the unduly, i do and i will too, but somehow, over the years, i realised, to worry the future is totally a waste of time, and i rather spent the time worrying to put in more effort instead and just totally be myself.

          Love me for who i am and stay with me for who i am... never never change for anyone... :p

          I have a friend, a male friend of mine, who always just simply fall in love with the wrong woman, just gave him a tongue lashing the other day...

          He loves woman who doesnt loves him, and let down woman who loves him
          Then he will look for friends, sing, drink, sing and drink to drown his sorrows. I was so pissed with him that i told him, no one is perfect, if u cannot find the perfect woman that u think u want, then u better think properly who exactly u are looking for. Cos a person who never knows *** they want will never find what they want... and the worse, kept hurting the right ones... ****...


          • #6
            i would marry a man who loves me and i loves...


            • #7
              Have a nice day
              Last edited by rupz; 13-08-2008, 09:32 PM.


              • #8
                I would want mutual love.


                • #9
                  I want mutual love, but for him to love me more than i love him (am i making sense to you girls?). But love's definitely got to be there, else i can't be with the person..


                  • #10
                    Go fall in love with the man who loves you.

                    "Imperfections makes this world perfect" -- QueZy


                    • #11
                      Is mutual love possible ?

                      sometimes, life gets so confusing and u starts to question yourself does mutual love exist ...
                      its always great to have a two way street relationship.. but what if it always turns one way... i have a guy friend of mine, who's pretty good looking, nice nature, but he always falls out of love suddenly... from a two way street, to a one way street. and reason always being that he is too nice to them.. the girls want guys whom they can love and to be loved in return... contradicting right?


                      • #12
                        I think it depends on the girls themselves then.. Hard to say..


                        • #13
                          Sometimes we all think too much and go around searching for a answer to something we thought is important and miss out on the meaningful stuff around us.


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by QueZy
                            Sometimes we all think too much and go around searching for a answer to something we thought is important and miss out on the meaningful stuff around us.
                            I think that is very true... we tends to worry too much and missed out on others stuffs
                            Especially we woman, or those sensitive man out there


                            • #15
                              Gals, I realise that being someone you don't love at all is such a miserable thing. You won't want to see him, won't think of him, won't even want to hear his voice at all. So if possible, be with the person that you love.