No announcement yet.

Top 133 Reasons Why You Are Always Late For Work

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Top 133 Reasons Why You Are Always Late For Work

    Top 133 Reasons Why You Are Always Late For Work

    Funny List:

    1 Preparation H looks like Crest at 5am -- you don't want to know the rest
    2 You mean when you said,"Be here at 8:00", you actually expected me to be here at 8:00?
    3 8 am....9:45.....whats the big difference?
    4 I am chronologically challenged
    5 Long line at the drive-thru window at Mickey D's
    6 My clock radio died....
    7 Too drunk!
    8 two words: snooze button
    9 "Well, Laurena got up before me and.........(you know the story!)
    10 Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a timekeeper!
    11 I hate my job
    12 Wait a mean to tell me I start at 9:00....
    13 "Gonna be a bit late boss, I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine at the supermarket."
    14 A very strong gravatational field formed directly over my bed and wouldn't let me climb out of bed.
    15 Because setting my watch ahead 10 minutes never really works.
    16 Bush made a speech that caused insomnia
    17 Deep in my soul, I know I was born to be a poet
    18 Hurrying so fast to get to work that time slowed for me relative to the boss's clock.
    19 I am a night person. If you don't stop hassling me early in the a.m, I'm going to call you at home at 1:00 a.m. and be real *perky*!
    21 i am the boss
    22 I came in late to make up for all the times I left early.
    23 I didn't have anything to wear, so I had to go to the store.
    24 I have a sleep deficit disorder, SDD
    25 I may be the last one in, BUT I am the first out at night
    26 I take the scenic route everyday
    27 I'm a nonconformist - I work when I feel like it.
    28 it took awhile to gnaw through the leather straps
    29 Live in Lloydminster, Alberta (Mountain Time); work across the street in Lloydminster, Saskatchewan (Central Time)
    30 My clock was flashing 12:00 So I had to guess.
    31 My mother never really loved me, she abused me by making me get up early to go to school
    32 My watch is set to the wrong time zone
    33 No alarm clock in the park
    34 Should have known that a solar powered car wouldn't work in Seattle
    35 Since the dawn of time, man has had an internal alarm clock, and mine is broken.
    36 So I was late...are you going to FIRE ME!?!
    37 stayed up watching mystery science theater 3000
    38 Thanks to your stupid downsizing, I'm now doing the work of 4 former employees and have not had a promotion in 3 years. This is my revenge!
    39 The dog had to go to the dentist
    40 The kid pooped in his diaper just as I was leaving!
    41 The rooster overslept.
    42 Time is relative
    43 Took a new route, every day, for the last 2 years...
    44 Up all night surfing the net
    45 Well, I was at the bus stop, because I don't drive since it pollutes, and just as I saw my bus rounding the corner, this guy in the far lane loses control and runs smack into the bus! He was trying to get out, but I guess his gas tank was punctured
    46 Well, wife just quit her job and uuu....NEVER MIND!
    47 A dog ate my bus
    48 I know you are but what am I
    49 I was abducted!
    50 I was born late...(I'll never be able to catch up!)
    51 I was having sex with my boyfriend
    52 My car broke down, I was mugged, aliens abducted me, was yesterday's excuse
    53 Slashing the boss' tires
    54 slept in
    55 That "Snap Crackle Pop" is such a gas!
    56 they send you outside wearing a helmet and fottball pads
    57 Thinking about work all night and fall asleep in the morning, OK?!
    58 Those stupid flying monkeys keep distracting me.
    59 Thought I saw a picture of Ed McMahon's wife; it was only a gravy boat.
    60 Three words -- Causal Temporal Anomaly
    61 Voices say," Boss bad, no work!"
    62 Your boss is a dork
    63 "forgot" that you are president
    64 "Hey, someone in the office has to be awake and alert!"
    65 sick
    66 A mob of midgets broke into my house and forced me to dance the Texas Two Step.
    67 Another lecture by parents, "When are you gonna get a real job?" (It's real if I get a check)
    68 Because I ...Rock n' Roll all night ,and party every day!!!!
    69 Because you fired me yesterday!!!
    70 Busy having sex with the bosses wife...
    71 Busy making love to the bosses' wife.
    72 Dog ate car keys
    73 Dog ate my tires??
    74 Drank Martinis 'til 2:00 A.M. and lost my car.
    76 Exercising the one thing we have over the Japenese.
    77 God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things. As of this date, I am so far behind I will never die!
    78 Good sex
    79 Had to check out today's list
    80 Had to stay home and vote over and over for the Keepers List
    81 Hey, it's better to be happy, hung over and spent than to be perky and pent (you know, pent up frustration) .
    82 I don't work here
    83 I figured that if I got drunk enough, I'd be able to fly to work
    84 I got my zipper caught on my p-p-pinky finger. Yeah, that's it.
    85 I had to drive around Rosanne Barr...
    86 I had to pee in the middle of the night and I fell in.
    87 I was having an erotic dream and had trouble walking when I got out of bed
    88 I was in the bathroom watching T.V.
    89 I was kidnapped by man eating parakeets and barely kept my limbs intact. You're lucky I'm here at all!.
    90 I was on the internet
    91 I was to busy getting head from your dauther!!
    92 I was too busy having an animated discussion in which I compared George Washington to toast!
    93 I'm here now, and I'll work late to make it up. Okay? Now quit bugging me! By the way, can I have an extra 15 minutes at lunch?
    96 I'm not late, it's still Sunday, in New Zealand
    97 If my boss left home earlier his wife wouldn't keep me so late
    98 It makes up for me leaving early.
    99 It's just my little way of protesting the control the bourgeoisiez has over the proletariat.
    100 Keep getting my arm stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Giant
    101 Kids stole glass eye
    102 Man was meant to rise with the sun...and since we're on daylight savings time...
    103 Mommy slept in ...again.
    104 Morning sex is good, but late for work sex is the best!!!
    105 My being late makes up for the raise that I DIDN't get!
    106 My car melted in the rain..
    107 My dog ate it.
    108 my dog ate my breifcase!
    109 My ex was controlling my movements with a voodoo doll-Lisa Bonet
    110 My spouse wanted One More For Road
    111 My watch is still on Alaska time...
    112 My wife beats me to our only car!
    113 Playboy Channel was on
    114 Ren and Stimpy now comes on at 11:00PM.
    115 Running on (Latino,Asian,Caucasian, etc...) Time
    116 SO, I have a job now? I really didn't know.
    117 Sorry, boss, I was in the shower with your wife.
    118 spend too much time on the internet (especially the keepers!)
    119 Spent too much time voting for entry over and over.
    120 The aliens that abducted me wanted to do one more experiment
    121 The women at your place of employment are not nearly as attractive as those on the Playboy Channel...
    122 To give my boss something to do. (He just loves filling out reprimands)
    123 To make up for the Dweeb that's checking up on you, being early.
    124 Too busy surfin' the 'Net
    125 Trying to start a fad.
    126 Um, I got abducted...I swear
    127 walks from Missouri to Mexico every morning- what do you expect?
    128 Whatever happened to Pink Tacky Bird?
    129 Winkie was up with the sun
    130 Ya talkin to me!!???
    132 You live in Texas, you work on the far side of pluto
    133 You were clensing your immortal soul.

  • #2
    very funny and hilarious.....

    some may be true u know....


    • #3
      LOL! I hope my boss is not going to surf this forum! :