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  • Sexless Marriage

    hello everyone,
    this is my 1st post. i urgently need help to fix my marriage. have been married for 10yrs and have had sexless marriage for 9 years. hubby is totally not interested in sex. the last time we ever had an intimiate kiss was 9 years back - it has been very painful for me. i have tried everything from talking to him about my feelings and future but nothing has happened.

    i am in the verge of breaking down. can some please recommend me a sex therapist.

    appreciate your help

  • #2
    sorry to hear about your situation dear
    what was his reaction when u tried to tell him about your feelings

    9 years without sex is virtually impossible especially in the case of a man
    sorry to say this but did u ever suspect that he is having an affair outside
    i recommend you to see a marriage counsellor first before a sex therapist

    Comment


    • #3
      Sorry to hear about that.

      I don't think you need a sex therapist. You and your hubby should seek a marriage counsellor FAST.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Demigoddess
        sorry to hear about your situation dear
        what was his reaction when u tried to tell him about your feelings

        9 years without sex is virtually impossible especially in the case of a man
        sorry to say this but did u ever suspect that he is having an affair outside
        i recommend you to see a marriage counsellor first before a sex therapist
        everytime, we talk abt this issue - he will promise me that things will turn out well soon. but over the years, nothing has happened. i have begged, argued and we had fought many times. Nothing has changed. Only years have gone by. I have always wanted to start a family and so much wanted to have kids. But frankly, now that dream and hope is dead. He just tells me that he has no interest in sex. The only thing that lacks in our marriage is sex. Other than that he is a great husband. Really manjas me alot - i am not trying to paint a nice picutre of him here - *** to i have to gain - NOTHING.

        No, he is not having an affair. I say this cos, i am the one who do the accounts at home and he gives me his pay cheque every month and is usually home by 7 or 8pm after work. We spend the weekends with family and frens.

        What is really killing me is that noone knows about my problem. This is my first time i am talking about it. It is really painful. I've thot of leaving him sometime back but i just love him so much that i can't bear to do that. Some of u might think i am stupid, but i think it is a choice i've made and i have only myself to blame.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Witchery
          Sorry to hear about that.

          I don't think you need a sex therapist. You and your hubby should seek a marriage counsellor FAST.
          do u know of any marriage counsellor or do any cozy members know. i am really not good at this. pls ask around and recommend.

          many thanks.

          Comment


          • #6
            maxbaby..i agree with Witchery.
            you need a marriage counsellor fast

            get his opinion if he is ok with seeing a marriage counsellor...there is obviously something wrong with your hubby and he is not willing to tell u for some reason

            Comment


            • #7
              Hope this will help somewhat

              http://www.carecom.org.sg/programmes/counseling_set.htm

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Demigoddess
                maxbaby..i agree with Witchery.
                you need a marriage counsellor fast

                get his opinion if he is ok with seeing a marriage counsellor...there is obviously something wrong with your hubby and he is not willing to tell u for some reason
                yes, i am ready to see a counsellor but need some help here. pls ask ard your frens if they know of any good marriage counsellors. thank you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Demigoddess
                  thank you demigoddess. will check out the link.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    i do know of a guy friend who has been sexless for the 6th year of marriage........guess it is possible......

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      i sympathise with your situation. pls seek advice from a marriage counsellor or speak to close family members soon. it's almost unimaginable for a man to be uninterested in sex. does he still physically desire u? how about surprising him with some sex toys one day? play dress-up or something? it that fails, u might want to seek advice, fast.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by sephirias
                        i sympathise with your situation. pls seek advice from a marriage counsellor or speak to close family members soon. it's almost unimaginable for a man to be uninterested in sex. does he still physically desire u? how about surprising him with some sex toys one day? play dress-up or something? it that fails, u might want to seek advice, fast.
                        sephirias, i've tried all these methods. have even planned surprise weekend getaways. but everytime have only been disappointed and hurt. now, am even too scared to try.

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                        • #13
                          maxbaby,
                          Is it possible that he may have some physical problems that prevent him from having sex ? He may be too ashamed to tell you.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by tamarind
                            maxbaby,
                            Is it possible that he may have some physical problems that prevent him from having sex ? He may be too ashamed to tell you.
                            i think so too. but y isn't he sharing it with me. i've been faithfull to him all these long. doesn't he see this. the pain is slowly killing me and i have lost interest in life.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I think you and hubby should see a sex therapist. Think there should be a sex clinic at our local hospital. Sorry cant remember which one. You can try calling the main line and inquiry.

                              Actually it needs two hands to clap - you have to talk to your hubby to go with you for the session and is he receptive about it?

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