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Your friend? Foe? Who is that?

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  • Your friend? Foe? Who is that?

    Have you ever had a very close friend who becomes an acquitance or worse still, an enemy?

    I'm kinda stuck and have no place to channel my thoughts. I really need some listening ear or any opinions.

    I have a best bud and we're not really on v good terms these days.

    Recently something weird happened. She has a bf who cheated on her a few times but she forgave him and got back with him. Her bf changed for the better but the situation reversed.

    She fell for someone close to me. (Not my SO) Then she did things behind her bf's back. Whenever she is up to no good, she'll turn her phone off or ignore all msg-es / phone calls. Her bf called me one day saying he couldn't contact her and I couldn't too. Neither could her sister. I knew who she was with and I knew she was not doing the right thing but I couldn't bring myself to betray her and tell her bf the truth. So I lied that I didn't know where she was.

    Earlier on her bf called me to ask if she was at my place. Told him no. The next msg I got from her bf's hp was:" Sorry to disturb. Just want to ask you what's ******'s number?" (Another close friend of ours.)

    Me: " She suddenly missing again huh? 9*******

    "I'm ******. Can I help you?" (It was her, not her bf)

    "Duh, call me looking for you then ask for ******'s number" (I was trying to explain why I asked if she went missing again while I was in the movies)

    "Sorry to disturb then.. This time have to let you down. It isn't the case"

    "Let me down for? Isn't what case?"

    She didn't reply..

    Tell me, is she being sacarstic? If she's not guilty why is she reacting this way? I really don't understand. I was quite bothered throughout my whole movie because I really don't know why she replied a simple msg with such sarcasm. And as you can see,I'm still quite bothered by this incident cuz I'm trying to look for answers.

    Many other incidents make me ponder.. Who is she? Best bud? Worse nightmare? What's going on?

    Any similar experience?

  • #2
    Oh my... Indeed it sounds very sarcastic. Your 'friend' thinks you are bad mouthing her to her bf so she's not happy. Seems that she didn't check her facts. Maybe you should tell her and then try to talk to her about what she's doing. But actually, I don't think she will listen.. Of course I could be wrong too. These kind of friends are scary... Take care girl.


    • #3
      But she should know I didn't hint her bf anything because if I did, she would be quarreling with him and he would reveal he knows the truth. But I don't think anything like that happened because I think I am among the few who knows what's going on and I think I'm the only one who is close to her bf (other than her sis of cuz)


      • #4
        OT, but your post reminded me of how I had a super close friend whom totally ignore me and kick me out of her life just cos I didnt like the same idol as she!! and because she is always talking about him and I aint a fan, she outcast me and seek the company of those who liked him and would not badmouth him, the last time she even change her mind about her husband and separated because of how her husband is not like that certain boyband member!! how crazy is that?! if she can give up her husband, let alone me. Its tragic!!


        • #5
          I have (from close friend to stranger. She just stopped talking to me) and till today i'm still wondering why However i could think of 2 reasons why it turned out this way though but of course, i will never know the answer.

          Pretty sad isn't it?

          Oh well, let bygone be bygone. If it happened when i was still young like few yrs back, think i would have been in tears. Thank god i've grown up


          • #6
            To me, a true friend is hard to find. really very hard. and everything changes. i do have good/close friends now have become more like acquintance.


            • #7
              Friend: This word in my dictionary is rather contradicting.
              Are friends still considered friend if both bad-mouthed one another?
              I have many "friends" who fall into that category.
              My true friends are my MUM and SIS and my BABY

              Foe: Myself


              • #8

                I should have listened to my relatives / friends / siblings's advice. To stop being so nice to her. I always thought she was my best bud and I shouldn't just dump her because everyone thinks I should.

                When we were younger, we often quarreled over ridiculous situations. She always very wary of me getting close to her guy. But I've never liked any guy she likes ever before! I just want that person to feel accepted when we're out so she wouldn't feel awkward. Sigh. Long story..

                Any same experience when your best bud thinks you're going to snatch her bf from her?
                Last edited by Evey; 05-02-2006, 01:21 PM.


                • #9
                  i think u shld stop being so nice to her. she dont seem to appreciate what u have done for her.

                  yes the word 'friend' is rather contradicting to me. to me a true friend will stand up for u and will not gossip about u..but many of the people i have known fall into the latter category as well. I merely see classmates as classmates and colleagues as colleagues.

                  foe:myself too


                  • #10
                    Haha back when I was in secondary school, two of my so-called best buddies outcasted me because a guy she liked liked me instead. And the irony is, she was the one who introduced him to me when I had no interest in knowing him. Back then I had enough trouble with guys already. Because of a guy who liked the first girl he saw, I got a slap from her once during a heated arguement when I was trying to convince them I didn't like him.

                    In the end, after probably a whole year, she forgot the incident and decided to become friends with me again without even an apology. I took her back but I never got close to her again.

                    At that point of time, I found out what a fair-weather friend was.

                    Because of such friends in the past, I now find myself aware of every acquaintance who might become a friend. End up, I distant myself from would-be friends and stay outcasted.
                    Last edited by Denial; 05-02-2006, 02:21 PM.


                    • #11
                      I prefer out-casting myself .
                      No idea why.
                      I have friends calling me weirdo and names like that because we don't share the common interest.
                      I was always mis-understood.
                      I cant seems to find someone who really shares the same interest as me.
                      Too many bad experiences regards friends.
                      Only time will tell


                      • #12
                        i also have people calling me strange, loner and etc. but i m used to it..well well u can't please everyone.
                        you have your own interests..and they have their own interests. a real friend wouldn't call u a weirdo. that's not friends.


                        • #13
                          I guess many people out there were once in the same boat as us.
                          Im rather numb and care less about such matters now.
                          Our family members are the best who would stick to you through thick and thin.
                          Not forgetting my darlings (dogs)


                          • #14
                            Sorry to hear about your situation Evey. I think every one of us has ever experienced something close or somewhere near it about friends who suddenly drift off like fallen leaves.
                            I guess as when we get older, it is inevitable that we lose friends along the way due to arguements , misunderstandings or may be just the lack of time to keep in touch. Not to mention differences would start to be more prevalent as our mentality changes.

                            I have ever experienced countless events when friends misunderstand my intentions or sometimes they take advantage of me. Feels very hurting though


                            • #15
                              I guess that's why I don't have a best friend till date. I used to think I had one (a secondary school classmate). After we went to different schools after sec 4, she never really made an effort to contact me. I was the one who kept the calls, sms-es and msn conversations going. Thinking it'd be great to update each other with what's going on in our lives and arrange times to meet up and have a cuppa, just like the old days. Till now, I would say we've met up quite a number of times but I'm the one who initiated each and every outing and with her constantly giving excuses not to turn up wasn't easy as well.

                              Though our situation isn't the same, I just wanted to share my opinion on best friends/friends. They can be nice when they need you. But people change, I guess. Regardless, I think that if you wanna salvage your relationship, you should ask her out or call her to ask what exactly she meant. As you know, an sms is incapable of delivering the tone and emotion the other person means to put across. Unlike me, you can try talking this out as my ex-bestie would not at all be interested to even come out/call. Much less talk.

                              All the best, Evey!