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  • Mommies Lounge

    hello all mummies..... was thinking it might be good to have a LITTLE corner for ourselves........ to share and blah out all our worries, concerns, blues....... everything! for me, parenting is sure a wonderful experience and of cos it takes alot too. sometimes it really drains us out and leave us feeling to the edge *especially if your little one / oness.... is / are handful* theres time when we really need someone to talk to and i REALLY mean TALK! but again people around us might not actually understand or should i say FEEL how we are FEELING. so come on in and confess your DEEPEST thoughts here.

  • #2
    You are already a mummy ? You look so young.


    • #3
      Originally posted by Cindy
      You are already a mummy ? You look so young.
      yes, my boy is 20 months old and i am 30 years old


      • #4
        Hi joope,
        Glad to hav a corner that we mummies can pour out our worries or even anger!!!
        I feel that SAHM is great but sometime people just don't understand what SAHM are doing
        and even thought they are very free only stay at home looking after baby but they are WRONG!
        They must be available for 24hrs, no off days, no salary , no bonus, no MC = medical cert etc....
        That's why i say they are great !


        • #5
          I agree that being a mom is tough...Acutally, both working and "non-working" moms have it tough. Sometimes being at work feels like an "easier" option, since there is a lunchtime, downtime, time to go to the bathroom - often there is no such luxury with being a SAHM, even though the SAHM has a helper etc.

          Joope, you don't look a day over 21!


          • #6
            Hi angelskk: I can't agree more. being a SAHM is tougher than anything. there is no holiday, no $$$, no time to take meal and even no time to go bathroom. and have to bear with your child nonsense.

            people think that a SAHm has nothing to do, very free, can be 'tai-tai', but the truth is, it's not like that. maybe if the child those 'kuai kuai' type, then maybe a lot of free time, but in my case, it's not so.


            • #7
              sorry i am a working mum and I feel its not an easy job too got to take work pressure at work, then have to spend whatever time left to do bonding with bb at home then got to pump milk...I really have no "self" time anymore even watching tv now is no longer possible can catch a glimpse then got to switch off to do other tasks.

              think the grass is always greener on the other pasture...SAHM think working mum life is easy and working mum prefer the life of SAHM. In conclusion being a mother is NOT Easy, no wonder we have Mother's Day!

              But I don't mind being so tired because my darling boy deserve the BEST!


              • #8

                okie, wanna share my thoughts. its true that the grass is greener on the other side BUT to me, its all depends on individual. okie, put it this way, its more of the mummies characters. some working mummies really works very hard in terms of working hours as well as after work, like what is said here, after work, dash home, bonding with babies, spending quality time and so. and another type of working mummies are more into OWN TIME oriented. they chose to leave their darling to care taker so they can work better and will bond with their babies during weekend or so. and as for sahm, theres different doings too! some dedicate 24 hours to their little ones and some have helper and will leave their little ones with helper while they can meet up with frens, catch a movie and such. so what i think is its indiividual preference and sad to say that i came across mummies who don't really give their best to their little ones so to me, even a working mum can be a GREAT mum too!!

                well, i am a sahm with a handful child *or should i say 2 handful* heeee..... and it really make me feel so out of breath sometimes and even my parents inlaw understand how i'm feeling when theres this incident when i care off my darling to them *i was very sick* they previously said that how difficult can a child be???!!!! thay always says that when i say i;m very tired and its not easy looking after my boy, so just "1 day" with my boy, they surrender!


                • #9
                  Conclusion is being a Mother is no easy task.

                  I am a working Mum. Thank god I have my Mum to look after my son while I work. But I always feel so 'pai-seh' if I have to stay back in the office. My son is coming 1 yr old and quite mobile now so looking after him is a handful and very tiring. As the mummy, I already feel exhausted after a whole day with him, what with someone else. Now, I understand why some helper abuse the baby. I do not have a helper so I still have to manage the house chores. It really no 'me-time' at all.

                  It's not easy for SAHM either. Like if I am with my son the whole day, I do not even have time to go toilet, shower. Have to follow my son every second as he 's in the accident prone stage. At least if you are working, you still have some free time.


                  • #10
                    I am also a full time working mother. My mother and maid look after my 2 kids, a 3 year old girl, and a 20 month old boy. I am really grateful that my mother agree to stay at my house during the weekdays, because I will never leave the kids alone with the maid, no matter how good she is. That saves me so much trouble to send the kids to and from her house. Especially these 2 months when I was very ill, I feel even more grateful that I can have good rest. My hubby is very busy with his work, and don't know how to do housework at all, so he is of zero help to me.

                    I can't imagine those SAHM who still have to look after their babies when they are sick. That's why I know I don't have the qualities to be an SAHM.

                    It is not only helpers who abuse the babies. My sister-in-law is a SAHM, she will beat her girl if she urines on the floor, when she was only 1 year old. She canes her girl if she does not want to eat her porridge. If her girl vomits the porridge, she will scoop up the vomit and made sure the girl eats everything. Some mommies think they gave birth to the baby and they have the right to do whatever they want with it.
                    Last edited by tamarind; 26-05-2006, 02:58 PM.


                    • #11
                      Hi tamarind,
                      Your sister in law is absolutely crazy, is she suffer from depression?
                      I think forcing or caning them to eat will really stress them and also leads to vomiting and when they see food they will also refuse to eat.
                      And also the urine part.. hey she's very bad you know, think your brother should do something about it.
                      I know i shouldn't interfered with these but i can't stand abusing children and worst of all is the mother who did it!!


                      • #12
                        To force a child to eat her vomit, there must be something wrong with her.

                        I am very grateful to my Mum too. I know she is very tired and if given a choice, she would not want to look after my son. I think I will send him to childcare when he reaches 18mths.


                        • #13
                          Great thread!

                          I am the first among my group of close friends to have a baby so I really have very few people I can turn to when I need to talk. My best friends and most of my colleagues are either single or just married with no children. I don't want to come across as obsessive or impose and regail them with stories and comments of my baby either, know what I mean?

                          I am a working mother and I thought it would be great to come back to work and have time to myself - have good lunches, go shopping, run errands, etc without a baby wailing in the background. Now that I have actually been back at work for 2 weeks, I miss Daniel so much and I find myself calling home 2-3 times a day to make sure he is drinking and sleeping well. My maid probably thinks I'm neurotic, because I make her keep a log of sorts as to what time Daniel drinks his milk, his nap times, his play time and even how many times he poos a day Do the other mommies do this too?

                          I worry constantly whether Daniel will become too used to my maid's method of helping him to sleep or calm down, etc such that if I were to do it, he wouldn't like it and would prefer my maid instead. Daniel's great grandfather spends hours a day talking to him and I can see that he is much more responsive tohim than he is to me. I know it's silly to feel this way but I can't help feeling jealous. Now I wish I could stay at home and watch his every development.....but I also don't mind being back at work in a way. I'm self-contradictory!!


                          • #14
                            OMG how can your sister-in-law do that? Very inhumane!!! I think it's ok to chide or scold gently if they urinate on the floor but to make a toddler eat his/her own vomit!!! Her girl might grow up with serious issues.


                            • #15
                              I can feel what you feel as I am actually on no-pay leave currently to spend more time with DD. However, the return date beckons and I'm feeling so iffy about it. It doesn't help that we are based overseas and I'm going to have to leave DD to my helper's care as we don't have any other family members to lean on there.Yes, she's a good helper and great with DD but I feel quite insecure - esp. in knowing that DD may become closer to the helper than me.

                              Yet I miss my sense of sense and individuality in the work place and of course the financial aspects of receiving a pay.