Confinement Lady

[Frenchkitty]

Hubby & I havent bought our own home yet so I will be doing my confinement at my In-laws'.
My Mum is working fulltime so cant help me. But I still cant get used to the idea of having my MIL be my CL...

Anyone did confinement by their MIL??

[sunsdew]

I'm having mine done by a confinement nanny.

But just a suggestion, you might want to find out and inform your mil either directly or through her hubby each other's pref

[sunsdew]

confinement nanny from hell :

1) started complaining about everything in the house the moment she stepped in.
2) told me that i'm not producing enough milk when the Lact consultant had told me otherwise.

3) kept telling me to supplement my breast milk so that my baby will sleep throughout the night (and she will have to wake up less often).

4) refused to use cloth diapers

5) refused to use cotton balls and insisted on baby wipes

6) kept complaining that my baby wakes up at night and sleeps throughout the day but refused to try to keep her awake in the day cos she doesn't have the time to entertain her

7) cannot cope with looking after the baby even though I feed the baby in the day and at night, don't ask her to do any housework if possible, let her take naps in the day when the baby is napping. She is only supposed to wash, change the baby, cook my meals, wash the dishes after the meals. I even sterilise my own pumping equipment and bottles and try to soothe the baby whenever she's cranky.

She is so cranky when she's tired. I don't dare to really rest in the day just so I can keep an eye on her.

9) She lied about her experience with breastfeeding; she doesn't know how to feed the baby through syringe, cup or spoon. She needs either me or hubby to help her feed the baby with a syringe and keeps telling us to feed more. Baby ends up choking and spilling a lot of milk.

10) She is such a sound sleeper that I've actually timed my baby crying for more than half an hour before she was brought to me in the night.

11) I have to remember my own feeding times at night and in the day cos she can't remember and can't wake up.

12) Everytime my baby is cranky, she will put the blame on insufficient milk (and on me). and stuff the baby with milk.

What on earth is the point of having such a nanny?????

[ShoppingQueenie]

confinement nanny from hell :

1) started complaining about everything in the house the moment she stepped in.
2) told me that i'm not producing enough milk when the Lact consultant had told me otherwise.

3) kept telling me to supplement my breast milk so that my baby will sleep throughout the night (and she will have to wake up less often).

4) refused to use cloth diapers

5) refused to use cotton balls and insisted on baby wipes

6) kept complaining that my baby wakes up at night and sleeps throughout the day but refused to try to keep her awake in the day cos she doesn't have the time to entertain her

7) cannot cope with looking after the baby even though I feed the baby in the day and at night, don't ask her to do any housework if possible, let her take naps in the day when the baby is napping. She is only supposed to wash, change the baby, cook my meals, wash the dishes after the meals. I even sterilise my own pumping equipment and bottles and try to soothe the baby whenever she's cranky.

She is so cranky when she's tired. I don't dare to really rest in the day just so I can keep an eye on her.

9) She lied about her experience with breastfeeding; she doesn't know how to feed the baby through syringe, cup or spoon. She needs either me or hubby to help her feed the baby with a syringe and keeps telling us to feed more. Baby ends up choking and spilling a lot of milk.

10) She is such a sound sleeper that I've actually timed my baby crying for more than half an hour before she was brought to me in the night.

11) I have to remember my own feeding times at night and in the day cos she can't remember and can't wake up.

12) Everytime my baby is cranky, she will put the blame on insufficient milk (and on me). and stuff the baby with milk.

What on earth is the point of having such a nanny?????

This is bad. What's her name? I hope my Confinement next month is a smooth one. As my confinement lady's daughter had depression so she get someone else to do for me.

[sunsdew]

Mei feng from malaysia.

She told me that she had experience with breastfed babies, which is totally bullshit. She made me so depressed with all her complaints that I totally snapped today and couldn't breast feed my colicky baby at all today.

When confronted by my mother, she had the cheek to say that I was the one who bullied her. She had the nerve to cry in front of my mother.

[ShoppingQueenie]

Mei feng from malaysia.

She told me that she had experience with breastfed babies, which is totally bullshit. She made me so depressed with all her complaints that I totally snapped today and couldn't breast feed my colicky baby at all today.

When confronted by my mother, she had the cheek to say that I was the one who bullied her. She had the nerve to cry in front of my mother.

Damm! I hope she better wake up. If not, see your mum/ in-law can help. I am so afraid she drive you nuts.

[sunsdew]

I am so stressed out by the nanny that I'm totally out of breast milk.

6 days and she has already screwed up my confinement.

I can't suckle my baby even when she's crying her lungs out. That hurts so much. I think I'm slipping into postnatal depression.

i can't wait for her to get out of my sight tomorrow.

[ShoppingQueenie]

I am so stressed out by the nanny that I'm totally out of breast milk.

6 days and she has already screwed up my confinement.

I can't suckle my baby even when she's crying her lungs out. That hurts so much. I think I'm slipping into postnatal depression.

i can't wait for her to get out of my sight tomorrow.

Babe - don't feel so depress because of this woman. You sure get help.

Breastfeeding part - take it easy. Don't breastfeed the baby when you feel anxiety, they knew. Remember baby inside us already know our character, is we who don't know them.

[cloe]

sunsdew,

Sorry to read what's you're going through.

I may sound rude but I suggest that you FIRE your confinement lady immediately. You seemed to be doing very well with breastfeeding until she messed it up. Please don't put up with her frustration anymore and get alternative help. Breastmilk is the best milk for baby and it calms both mummy and baby down as it provides comfort and security to both parties as well.

For insufficient, you can see a Lactation Consultant or call the Breastfeeding Mothers' Support Group (BMSG) helpline at 6339-3558 for advice. It's not too late to relactate again. For online help, check http://www.drjacknewman.com/Breastfeeding-help.asp

You can call up maid agency for part-time help if required.

[sunsdew]

thanks cloe and queenie,

I've got rid of the nanny and now my aunt and mum are helping out. The prob is my aunt can only come in the day and is not free on tuesdays, and my mum is working. My hubby is getting v frustrated with our colicky baby.

I've seen an LC- Doris Fok. She was very nice and assured me that I was producing enough milk for my bb. But the thing is the nanny kept using the lack of milk or the fact that the baby was hungry as an excuse and kept stuffing my baby with milk whenever bb cries. My silly husband believed her and once they actually stuffed her with 3 feedings over 3 hours. Now my bb's feeding and my milk supply are totally screwed up.

I need someone else who is good with babies to help out. Anyone who knows of a confinement nanny who is available and who is good with breastfed babies?

[cloe]

sunsdew,

Try to calm down and re-establish breastfeeding with your baby.


For Confinement Agencies, try this (note that price may be high):
* Amy confinement nanny services, 97825015
* BBnanny, 97472405
* GPLS Confinement Care Agency, 91114418


For Confinement Ladies (I got some of the contacts from this forum and some from other sources), try:

* Mdm Wong, 90235966 or 65635932
* Auntie Ivy, 0169659788 (malaysia line) or 82731889 (singapore line)
* Auntie ah Jiao, 016-2923050
* Xiu Ling jie, 81195431
* Auntie Liqing, 81306297 (SG) +60163630054/+6067646504 [my friend's recommended her]

[suziewong]

Hi Popcorn,

It is very important to use a confinement lady that is registered with MOM.

I recommend GPLs. Here is a review that is done on them...

http://www.theasianparent.com/articl...stal_Lim_Leahy

[Ribbons]

Hi Sunsdew,

I'm a new mommy just like yourself.. Trust me, let no one dissuade you from effectively breastfeeding your baby. Our milk just needs 'coaxing' and 'training' to flow. I had a c-section delivery and i wasn't lactating naturally then. But, i believe i was in a situation worse than yours; it's my MIL that'd complained and insisted that i supplement with formula milk and my stubbornness was making my child 'suffer' from hunger.. She criticised my nipples being flat and therefore incompetent for proper breastfeeding. I guess that almost the entire maternity ward staff in the hospital probably knew of my plight since she made a scene there when i refuse to yield to her demand of using FM.

Nevertheless, I persisted with total BF with the encouragement from the midwives and nurses there. After my discharge from the hospital, as advised by the midwives, i continue to pump my milk every 2-3 hrs. It began with just 5ml, then 10ml after some 1hr of pumping or so. But eventually the milk will flow effectively. It's about creating the demand in order for the supply to come.

I stayed in my room with my baby mostly during my confinement period and just focus on creating the milk supply and learning to cope with baby myself, while the confinement nanny was tasked to cook and clean for me. Newborns of around a month should be fed only once every 3 hrs, and around 30ml-60ml. You will be exhausted trying to pump enough, but keep persisting and focus. Yes, colic is bothersome. Try different type of teats that can help reduce colic and always burp the baby after every feed. Establishing a routine is important for the baby. Don't be tempted to suspect that baby is not fed enough in between the 3-hourly feeds. I do think that feeding bottled EBM is a good way of establishing your supply and assuring yourself that you're feeding enough at first, you may like to do that.

As for your need for confinement nanny, i think it's good enough to get a helper to do your house chores, washing baby's clothes/nappies. Consider getting confinement food catering. Most importantly, you must relax and enjoy your new motherhood status. All the old wives' tales of 'wind' and 'aches' aside, it's more practical to maintain a happy disposition during this time and prevent slipping into postnatal depression. So, work out your priorities and enjoy your baby

[sunsdew]

thanks ribbons and cloe,

my mil is quite doubtful about my ability to breastfeed as well but thank goodness she has mostly held her tongue. I guess I was likely that I was engorged on the third day and she was there to witness the pain I was in from having too much milk...

But she will still ask me things like 'are you sure you don't need to feed the baby water? etc.

And she does check out my breasts every time she visits.

I've decided to just rely on my aunt, myself and hubby. I've interviewed some nannies recommended by friends but eventually realised that most nannies are not good with total breastfeeding.

One that I interviewed tried to persuade me over the phone to supplement with forumula!!!


I was actually doing fine with the supply cos I was engorged by the third day and I could express 60 mil from each breast. That was like 2 feeds for my girl.

It was when the stupid nanny used up 3 bottles of expressed milk i(160-180mil!!!) in force feeding my girl that I got so stressed up and angry that my milk supply has been dwindling since then. That cow is convinced that BM is thin and not as nutritious as compared to formula.


What on earth does she have in place of a brain???? You don't even feed that much formula to a week old baby!!! I seriously wanted to kill her there and then for taking the easy way out instead of trying to soothe my girl.

When you have expressed milk, other care takers always take the easy way out by feeding the bb the EBM when baby fusses. (Even my mum and my hubby did that.)

now i'm really quite worried cos my breasts don't feel as full as before and when i try to express, i don't get 60 mil from each breast any more.

[Ribbons]

Sunsdew..

Poor baby.. that's way too much of overfeeding. Her colic is really probably just being overfed...?! Don't worry and just keep focusing on getting back on track again. Most of all, relax and forget about the bad incident so that you can really heal.