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CLOSED: Girlfiend asked me for a BMW.

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  • CLOSED: Girlfiend asked me for a BMW.

    Story of my life.

    Just when I thought I found someone whom I could marry.

    And then....

    I always felt that if a girl loves you, she would be concerned about your finances too.

    At a time when business is bad and outlook is uncertain.

    She said she is frustrated that her lifestyle is not moving up. Poor thing, a condo, a sportscar, a boat, an Amex platinum (to be fair, she pays for everything she signed), expensive holidays (except that I do not have time for long holidays), restaurant meals most of the time.

    To be fair, she does not care for branded goods, so I was shellshocked when she popped (and persisted) in asking for a BMW.

    All my male friends say dump her. An unlimited financial liability usually does not love her man anymore.

    What do you girls think?

    After that money grabbing Kimchi, I land a gold digging Indo. Beginning to think the problem is me. Something invisible ink must be branded on my forehead FLEECE ME.

    Boy, I don't think I can survive another failed relationship. But this is looking more like a commercial deal than a relationship.

    The World according to Psycho

    p/s can a moderator disable the e-mail prompts on replies please? She has free access to my e-mails too
    Last edited by dolphin; 31-08-2004, 08:48 AM.

  • #2
    Well I dunno.. but this sure sounds like a girlfriend from Hell. I dunno about most girls, but to me, whatever a man gives you is out of his free will and because he loves you. You do not ask for things like they own you anything. But when a relationship becomes stressful and you start losing yourself... really its time for a heart to heart discussion then cut your losses...

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    • #3
      have not seen you around for quite some time

      actually why does your GF needs you to buy her a BMW? since she is so rich she can get one herself right?

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      • #4
        Yeah, a BMW is just a phone call away to her old man. But I suppose her sisters will never stop bitching if the BMW came from the old man and not me.

        Well, reality is I'm not going to cave into her expensive wimps and fancies. Expression of love need not come in the shape of an expensive car. I would have done so if she is mother of my children and needs to send them to school and do heavy grocery shopping. Not for someone who is out of town half the time and the car serves no practical purpose other than a bragging right to her family. Respect is earned, not bought.

        As for cutting losses, I don't like to play God and decide the future. If the lack of a BMW is going to make her leave, I'd pack her bags for her.

        Otherwise, I just hope that she sees the point that she can use my car anytime. I'm happy to take the MRT. An unmarried couple living together with two cars is clearly not the smartest financial decision, not in Singapore anyway. Even as a bragging right, my current car is no less than a BMW anyway.

        Just can't help but feel that if a woman loves you, she would gladly take the MRT with you. If she doesn't, a BMW can also be used as an excuse for exit.

        Am upset why I kept going down this same damned road with women.

        The World according to Psycho

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Uncle_Psycho
          Just can't help but feel that if a woman loves you, she would gladly take the MRT with you. If she doesn't, a BMW can also be used as an excuse for exit.
          I agree with your point there. I'll be the devil. I'll say... it's time to make an exit. She can ask for a beemer now, what's next? a castle in Europe or an island next?? She's definitely not for keeps. To put it blandly, she's just using you as a "plantinum card", something for show, something to boast her ego and which is certainly nice to use. But what happen when you're "over the limit" or "expired"? She would just chut you away. Don't think you can see yourself walking to the end of the road with this lady.

          To live together in the estate of matrimony? Will you love him, honor him, comfort him, and keep him in sickness and in health; forsaking all others, be true to him as long as you both shall live?
          for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part... ?????
          :huh:

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          • #6
            No la, to exit stage now is too easy.

            Sometimes people (especially women ) say things they don't mean and mean things they don't say.

            The challenge for me is to ascertain that I will do my utmost best to make her dreams come along but also have the assurance that she is for keeps if I fail.

            I'm boozing my liver out as I type. But it's becoming clearer than clear to me at least. Mine is not to question why I have to provide her bragging rights. Mine is just to work harder, to make her feel like the luckiest girl on earth.

            So help me God.

            Relationship between two people is always about supply and demand. If one person feels that she has better options, she will always feel shortchanged being with me.

            I cannot make all her dreams come true, but I will certainly try.

            The World according to Psycho.

            p/s besides BMWs are really bad cars. Totally not value for money. They cannot perform like a performance car, unless its a M3 or M5, and as a luxury sedan, the Japanese cars are no where inferior and at half the price.

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            • #7
              hey uncle, i suggest keeping her for now and seeing her what she is up to!

              as u have said, "As for cutting losses, I don't like to play God and decide the future. If the lack of a BMW is going to make her leave, I'd pack her bags for her."

              i probably wait and see what she is up to...probably she wants the easy way out?

              either way, she is on a win win situation!


              p/s: i also dont like BMW.....

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              • #8
                Re: Gurlfiend asked me for a BMW.

                Originally posted by Uncle_Psycho
                After that money grabbing Kimchi, I land a gold digging Indo. Beginning to think the problem is me. Something invisible ink must be branded on my forehead FLEECE ME.

                p/s can a moderator disable the e-mail prompts on replies please? She has free access to my e-mails too
                Hi, don't know you but since you freely share about your situation(meaning you are inviting comments), I just want to say that, it takes 2 to tango and maybe you do need to reflect on yourself as well.

                Firstly, did you ever give her an impression, she can ask something like that from you, that you can afford or willing to get anything for her (even the star from the sky)?

                Secondly, how come she has access to your email account? Obviously, someone gave her his passwords. If she has stolen your password then she should have been dump long ago, huh?

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                • #9
                  Uncle P, I have moved your post to CozyCafe and shouldn't be over at the other forum.

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                  • #10
                    Ha, thought so too. Find it weird to find this thread under 'Entertainment' initially.

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                    • #11
                      Just to chip in my comments ...

                      How long have you been in relationship with her? From your earliest description, seems that she responsibly paid for all her expenses and did not rely on you. Perhaps there's another reason for her asking you to buy BMW. Try to talk to her and dig out the real reason. Maybe she has bad friends or companions that keep putting the pressure on her. Or, like naughtygirl said, maybe you gave her wrong impressions all along.

                      Somehow I could relate to your situation. I dated my husband for 8 years and never once used a car. He doesn't have one. Then came a day when I felt frustrated because it seemed all girls around me had a car ready whenever they wanted. Drizzling? Call boyfriend. Heavy groceries? No problem, husband is here with car. Too hot to walk outside? Darling, can you come and pick me up? I tried to convince my husband to get a car. Any car. Luckily he knocked some sense into me and I started to see that we just couldn't afford it.

                      Perhaps her request is just an impulse triggered by external factors (depression, feeling lack of achievement, etc). Don't give up yet, okie?

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                      • #12
                        Maybe I didn't read your post carefully, but its pretty simple to me- if you can afford to and want to, go ahead and get her the car she wants. As for whether she is truly yours for better or worse or just during good times, that is something you'll have to access yourself cause none of us know her, and what everyone is advising you is based on what it seems from your post.

                        It really all depends on how far you both have gone (and I dont mean physically), how far you both are gonna go, and how easily you can afford this gift as well, as whether its justifiable (whatever justifiable means to you) or not.

                        IMO, if she is gonna be your future wife and you know that she loves you as much as you love her (eg, is she herself willing to blow the same kind of money for a luxury item for you?), plus you can afford this gift for her, and it makes you happy to do so, then I don't see what's wrong?

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                        • #13
                          Hahaha! The title of this thread was changed from "Gurlfriend" to "Girlfiend". FIEND.

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                          • #14
                            Why dun you simply, ask her why?

                            For face's sake?

                            oh the other hand, if you are some stingy miser who has never given her anything not even a single decent present, I think yeah she isn't unreasonable in asking for something significantly expensive (your bf got you branded goods all the time but my bf gave me a car at one shot instead of all the expensive superfcial mojos!)

                            though it did cross my mind she could have used this as a clever tactic of ending the relationship for reasons unknown... scenario Pretends to be materialistic, piss off bf, breaks up and look for another guy. )

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                            • #15
                              hi uncle,

                              i just wana make it short & sharp..

                              if she truly loves you, she'd go through poverty with you, not make you poorer... there's simply no meaning if you guys stay together & make both financial worsen by splurging. i dont believe in that.

                              just tell her NO. if she wants to go.. u may have let her go & tell yourself that's the right thing to do.

                              telling you is easy, for you to execute it may be tedious... but u have to do what u deem fit.. when the time comes.

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