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Hard to find a balance in life

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  • Hard to find a balance in life

    I always have difficulties in finding a balance between friendship and love. I always prefer to meet up my boyfriend more than my friends and ended up isolating from them whenever I made new friends. It's like ending up having or befriending none.

    Sometimes I will spend all my time with my boyfriend that I wouldn't even reply msg or join in my frens' conversation. I know I place too much focus on my boyfriend and I always remind myself to balance my life out but I just can't control!

    Anyone encounter the same problem as me? Pls help!

  • #2
    same here.. till now still no solution. just cant control..

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    • #3
      Consider an example from modern times that I’m sure everyone has observed. The first person is extremely career driven. Each day he focuses on advancing himself. He spends long hours at the office, competes mercilessly with his coworkers, and flatters his superiors. As a result he has almost no personal life. The second person’s only pursuit is leisure. He likes to waste time with his friends watching television and playing video games.

      Which of these persons is superior? Many people would argue for the hard worker. But at second glance his life is rather cold. His obsession with success has alienated his coworkers and left him without a family. He may become rich, but how will he enjoy it? The second man is no better. He has wasted his life in laziness. He has refused to develop himself and exists as a parasitic leech. Both men are worthy of pity.

      I think we’d all agree the ideal would be somewhere in between these two people. So how do we find the elusive Golden Mean? The bad news: it takes years of trial and error get it perfect, but fortunately, we can all improve if we try.

      It all starts with setting the right goals. Whenever you make a goal you need to do it with the right intention. Don’t set goals with the intent to dominate other people. This type of goal setting is ego driven and pulls you away from the mean. Instead, try to start with a goal that is in between total selfishness and total selflessness. If you are helping yourself and other people at the same time you can draw motivation from your ego driven side and from the part of you that wants to work for the common good. This type of goal setting is effective because whenever you start to lose motivation in one area you can draw from the other.

      The next step to reaching the Golden Mean is knowing your limits. You need to know when that next drink is going to put you over the edge or when one more project is going to stress you out. The idea is to maintain balance at all times. You need to police yourself to avoid extremity. If you know when you are inclined to stray you have a head start on achieving balance.

      Another step to achieving the Golden Mean is being aware of your personal needs. Sure we need money and success, but having good relationships with friends and family are just as important. Whenever you find yourself unhappy, take a moment to reflect on the reason. You will likely find that you have drifted over to one extreme and are feeling the consequences.

      I know the Golden Mean is hard to live by, but it is the key to finding your inner confidence. Ben Franklin said, “The wise learn from the mistakes of others, fools, scarcely from their own.” Next time you find yourself willing to do anything to be the best of the best, take a moment to reconsider. You may find it is better to be the best “you” you can be.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by quincyjx View Post
        I always have difficulties in finding a balance between friendship and love. I always prefer to meet up my boyfriend more than my friends and ended up isolating from them whenever I made new friends. It's like ending up having or befriending none.

        Sometimes I will spend all my time with my boyfriend that I wouldn't even reply msg or join in my frens' conversation. I know I place too much focus on my boyfriend and I always remind myself to balance my life out but I just can't control!

        Anyone encounter the same problem as me? Pls help!
        You need to signup at my site!

        saycheesemonthy.com -- SG friends-making website. Meet new friends/find a BF/find a partner/meetup and gossip with other ladies.

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        • #5
          I have not found that balance yet, I try to do as I can.

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          • #7
            Just try to organise meetup session with friend for coffee, kbox, shopping etc. can do it monthly.
            This is what i am trying now as well

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