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R'ships - Cheaters?

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  • #16
    Hi purplemoth~

    I had this ex of two years and apparently he always lies to me. He goes on to IRC very often and picks up gals and chats with them on the phone, and he meets up with gals and stuff, and lied to me that he has some event going on. :roll: I mean, it's totally fine if you want to meetup with your gal friends, at least don't lie about it! :roll: Once a gal (who calls him everyday to chat for hours), called him up while he was outside with me, heard my voice and asked him who it is, he told her I'm his cousin and that he's at home right now.

    Countless times I told him I want to break up with him and guess what he always does? He cries (literally) and whines in public. Sometimes I suspect he could be a little mentally off balance.

    Back to your situation. It is perfectly normal to be paranoid, especially after all that has happened. Mentioning the past will either awaken his guilt (if he has a conscience), or irritate him. I do hope that things will work out fine for you! If he expects you to trust him once again, then I guess he has to earn it over time.


    • #17
      i recently broke off with my bf of 3+yrs too. he cheated on me agn...he's dating the other gal nw...


      • #18
        just an account of a recent close friend encounter whom husband cheated on her to share:

        My friend had the rudest shock of her life one night she got home to find a china lady waiting at her house. the third party was given the keys to the house by her husband and was there to "confront" my friend, the lady told my friend her husband has been going out with her since a year back and that her husband wants to divorce my friend now to be with her.

        she had the cheek to also tell my friend that she is damn stupid to not notice the signs but my friend told her thats cos she trusted her husband completely and thats what love is all about..the woman laugh so madly and said she is damn stupid to not even have doubts at all...she said that the husband is not ever coming back and that he cannot even be bothered to come and thrash things out with my friend and have given her the right to talk things out with my friend!!! what a bastard right!!

        while my friend is still reeling in shock what had just happened, the woman just went over and push her to the ground, tell her that she is damn bloody useless and have no guts to talk back to her at she started punching her and my friend was so badly brusied!!!

        she is damn insulted that her husband had no guts or cant even be bothered to talk it out with her personally and had the audacity to give someone else the keys to their house and confront her. he had the nerve to cheat yet he dont want to face her. worse, the third party even had the guts to hit her face when she is the third party and the husband went to the police station to bail that woman out and didnt even say a single word to my outrageous is that!!

        till date, my friend had no single clue what went wrong in their r/s as they have been married for 4 years and no serious fights before...she came to realise that when things happen, they can happen without any real reason and since then move on but unable to love again....
        Last edited by Cel; 29-12-2004, 12:19 AM.


        • #19
          omg..psycho maniac....can sue her tho. did she report to the police?

          Gawd, what did your friend see in her hubby in the past? Or how did he change so much? :roll: What a useless man!


          • #20
            yeap the neigbours reported the commotion to the police and as mentioned, the husband came to bail that woman out but didnt even speak to my friend, no apologies..nothing!!

            my friend had her injuries tested at the hospital and seeking legal advice now. the husband even wanted to take the house from her and basically leave her with nothing!! I say go to court and fight it out with that bastard!! lucky thing they had no kids. this happened just 1 day before xmas eve and what a way for my friend to welcome the new year man!! I certainly hope right into 2005 would be a turning point for her!

            as for why did he change so everyone....guess when one wants to change, it can just happen without a clue...its scary come and think of it....even my husband agreed that for men...they either commit same mistakes repeatedly or commit a super serious one at one shot...guess its the latter for my friend's case. its tragic!
            Last edited by Cel; 29-12-2004, 12:54 AM.


            • #21
              I hope he suffers with that vixen. what comes around goes around. I've seen it happen! lol!


              • #22
                OH MY GOD!
                Im quite shocked at the audacity of the husband and the mistress!I would have fought it out with the stupid china woman.

                My ex cheated on me b4 too, and it caused a very big strain on the relationship.
                Til the day we broke up, the scar never went away.
                So now, I can take anything but infidelity.


                • #23
                  Dear Cel~ Hi..

                  GOSH!!!!! I do hope your friend's injuries are better by now!! Do tell her to take care okie?

                  I can't believe that her husband was such a COWARD!!
                  And the fact that he told his mistress to talk it out with his wife, and the mistress actually HIT HER!! I would have slapped her back!! That's trespass to person!

                  Property-wise, if the house is matrimonial property, then your friend will definitely have a share. And make sure that she gets her maintenance fees too.

                  But then money aside, her husband is really one cunning wolf because as you mentioned, there were no serious fights whatsoever. It must have been a tremendous blow for your friend!!

                  Come to think of it, my current bf is not the type to repeatedly commit mistakes, so I'm wondering if he's the type who will commit a big one at one go?

                  Trust is important in a relationship, but when it's abused... all goes down the drain!!


                  • #24
                    if it's my bf. i will say bye. i can't live with the thought that i must constantly fight this to be with a guy who ddin't care much.

                    if it's my hubby, i dunno man. marriage vows aren't really suppose to be taken so lightly right? guess i would have to think trhu, talk thru, go for counselling etc etc.... n see how it goes.


                    • #25
                      hey Cel!

                      omg.. the nerve of the china woman!! what right does she have to treat other people like that when she's the 3rd party?

                      the husband's such a coward!! how can he still side with the china woman after she's beaten your friend? anyone with eyes can see who's in the right and wrong! but then again.. he's already an a.s.s.h.o.l.e by not discussing everything with your friend and letting the china woman have her way.

                      hope they know what's call "what goes around comes around". can't stand such people!

                      on cheating cases.. my friends have their fair shares.. one of them was with this guy for 3 years.. and all of a sudden came this other girl who came between them.. the thing is, everyone in the guy's family knew that there's this other girl except for my friend. and the guy got together with the girl even though he has not broken up with my friend.. the best thing is, the guy wants to get back with my friend now (and as again, he's not over with the other girl yet)! why are there such people around? can't understand their mentality. *pissed*


                      • #26
                        thanks for all the support and I have printed it out to let my friend read it so hopefully she gets encouraged and have the stamina to fight on.

                        haha on a lighted hearted note, I would have felt worse if the vixen was a younger,hotter babe but NO, she is like 6 years older than the man who is 36 and much fatter, wrinkly and uglier than my babelicious friend who dont look a day over 30. and in case you are wondering, the man is not after her wealth as she has none to speak of...last I heard she was a beer promoter in some coffeeshop!! to think the man is a high income yuppie..wonder what the hell got into him!! some things are too profound to understand man!!


                        • #27
                          i don't understand y guys like ktv hostess kinda gal.


                          n i know of some guys who cheat with such gals...


                          • #28

                            Probably it would be over before we know it unless the girl is super charming and feminine which all guys are dying for. But from the story u've written, she doesn't sound any bit like it..

                            I have only one word for your friend's hb. Ass-hol*! Such guy deserves more than 1 tight slap! No balls even to confront own wife..


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Cel
                              ...she is like 6 years older than the man who is 36 and much fatter, wrinkly and uglier than my babelicious friend who dont look a day over 30. and in case you are wondering, the man is not after her wealth as she has none to speak of...last I heard she was a beer promoter in some coffeeshop
                              36 + 6 = 42
                              Not after wealth.
                              After beauty? Nope. *looks at "fatter, wrinkly and uglier"*
                              So... :huh:

                              I guess it's a fetish thing?


                              • #30
                                That man sounds like a bastard and birds of a kind flock together. Who knows what perverse preferences should a cruel man would have?

                                Cel, I really sympathise with her friend. It's horrid losing your husband, and it's even worse losing him to such pathetic 'competition'. The poor girl must be feeling very down now... But tell her not to let this affect her self-esteem! This entire episode reflects more on the treacherous couple than it does on her. All this shows is that the adulterous pair are disgusting, immoral, and practically evil. It doesn't make her inadequate in any way.

                                Hopefully the new year would be better for her. I'll be sending lots of positive vibes to the poor dear!