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  • SAHM - Stay At Home Mom

    Hi! let me first introduce myself...i am 29 and expecting my first child (its a girl!) in November. I read all CozyMom threads actively and finally decided that i need advice from you...

    I notice that many are stay at home moms or intend to be one... me too! my question is...how much is your current job paying you? is it sufficient to raise a kid with only one income (hubby's)....hope its not too personal to ask that... as for me, i don't think i earn very much...its $30k per year...bare minimum to suscribe for credit cards...but i need some reassurance.......THANK YOU!

  • #2
    Re: Stay @ home mom...wats the cost?

    Originally posted by fresia
    is it sufficient to raise a kid with only one income (hubby's)....
    Your idea of sufficient might not be mine and vice versa cause we all have diff needs and lifestyle. If you were to ask specifically me, then yes, I'm quite happy with what we have.

    I think its most important that you and your hubby sees eye to eye on this matter. If you want to stay at home and he is 100% supportive, and his income is sufficient for you both, I'll say go for it.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi fresia, firstly congrats to you and secondly welcome to join us in discussions.

      With regards to planning to be a stay home mom, this is what I think......

      You are thinking of giving up your job but that is only one aspect of the many things you need to consider.

      1. Firstly is hubby in favour of you staying at home and if not, why?

      2. Next, how much do you like your current job? Would you miss it or not at all?

      3. Thirdly, very important. How much does your hubby makes and how much are your expenditures?

      If hubby makes between $3 to $4K (not forgetting after CPF deduction take home pay will be lesser), how much are you left after paying for loans (if any), personal insurance, $ to parents, and basic household expenditures? You can still be a stay home mom but probably with very little to save and nothing left for shopping for yourself and your little one.

      If he takes home $5 to $6K, you should be quite comfortable and if he makes $8k and beyond, you definitely should not have a problem. You will be able to save, go on holidays, buy presents for friends etc.

      Therefore, its about balancing his take home pay with your expenditures and your personal needs (shopping etc)

      Finally, you should ask yourself why do you want to be a stay home mom and how long do you plan to stay one?

      Hope the above is helpful to you. These are what I can think about off hand .

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Stay @ home mom...wats the cost?

        Hi Fresia,

        Welcome and congrats! I will be birthing in early Dec...

        I think I can understand how you felt. I second what Mango and Tanya mentioned earlier - it really depends on your total budgeting as it differs from couple to couple.

        As for me - I am looking out for temporary assignment for couple of months as I am feeling better and (I have rested for three months) will continue to enjoy the total experience as a first time mom.... Remember the less stressful and happier mom will have a happy baby too..

        Maybe I can mentioned some ways to cut cost :

        1) Maternity clothing and baby stuff - if you can get hand down from friends, relatives etc - That will save you alot of $$

        2) Breast Pump, Steriliser, cot etc - You can try going to the Yahoo Auction as sometime they have quite a good bargain too.
        I just read there is this lady who is selling her Avent Breast Pump(usual about $100) for $50 - brand new as she has medical problem and cant breast feed at all. Me also quite keen but too early to get it now.. hehe

        3) Read up on threads on good buys or advices.

        Hope this helps! Contiune to post....

        Comment


        • #5
          Also consider your hubby's field/ job-nature... is it stable? If not, what other alternatives for him/ lowest pay in worst-case scenario. Whether there's enough to tide over whole family in the event it happens (whether lowest pay can still cover all basic expenses)?

          And what ifs- illness, disability, death... any insurance or other measures?

          Finally, the need to save for both persons' retirement on 1 salary.

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks so much for all the advice.

            I think i am also highly influenced by my mom who was and is a stay at home mom...we were not considered a rich family but managed to get by...that's why i think that i should be able to cope. but of course the standard of living is different now and if i want to give my child the best, a substantial income would be good.

            On the other hand, i don't fancy shuttling my child from grandma's place and then back home everyday...nor can i stand not seeing her until the weekends...so i think i will try my best to get some no pay leave or maybe find another job ....

            Comment


            • #7
              fresia, you currently working now? If you still can't decide, why not take no-pay leave for a couple of months after you deliver and see how you like it and whether you and hubby an cope financially. Its hard to imagine yourself in a situation you're not yet in. Calculations are calculations, sometimes, things have a way of working out somehow if you really want it to work.

              Comment


              • #8
                Actually, I really think we are a fortuate bunch to be able to choose to stay home.

                I have a friend who has to send baby to infant care and another planning to place baby with mil during weekdays and bringing baby home on weekends. I know they don't have much choice. But nothing beats taking care of baby on our own and enjoy all the wonderful growing up moments of baby.

                Only thing is I like to be connected with the outside world. Don't want to live in a small isolated world. So, I need to balance that.

                Another thing is, how many children do you intend to have? This will affect how long one stay as a stay home mom. I don't want to be a stay home mom forever (need to fullfill my own dreams) and achieve something in life other than rearing children.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by naughtygirl
                  Actually, I really think we are a fortuate bunch to be able to choose to stay home.
                  Yeah, I completely agree! :preggie:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi Tanya - you are a SAHM currently? I thought you are working..

                    For me, if not for the previous MC, I may continue to work cos I am the kind who feel very insecure when I dont have a monthly income in my bank account. But like what Mango said, things have their way out. Me and hubby works things out. I do plan to work some months later when baby is born. Temporary assignment will do also for me...

                    Also children are children - they will have a life of their own. So like Tanya - I would like to pursue my own dream later. But right now - baby takes first priority.... I am having my detail scan in two weeks when I am 20th week pregnant - will see baby's internal organs, legs, hands and all... so excited! Cant wait for that day to come...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Loving Hubby

                      Yes, we are a fortunately bunch... I really thank my hubby for his support and love to see us through...

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                      :preggie: - this icon is so cute... its a pregger

                      And great to see so many baby tickers - many mommies this year!

                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi acidica, I was a stay home wife for 2 years (running a website from home as a hobby). Now, I am a stay home mom to be.

                        Working life can be fun and I do miss dressing up for work and having good co-workers. Some people can never get used to staying at home because they enjoy being independent and simply love the satisfaction that works bring. I like that too and don't mind going back to work one fine day but it must be for something I love.

                        But right now like you I am only thinking baby . Everything else will take a backseat.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          For those stay-at-home moms, what other activities do you do (besides babycare of course)? I think I'll probably give up my job soon because it requires travelling when there are projects.

                          I'm just hoping I won't get mad with boredom, and apart from surfing the web, I wondered what other types of things we could do. I guess alot of it has to be home bound in the beginning since I can't lug the baby around if I was planning to do some charity work outside the house.

                          Is there a mom's club where you guys meet in nice places like Botanical Gardens so the baby can have a nice push in the stroller?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mogmick
                            For those stay-at-home moms, what other activities do you do (besides babycare of course)? I think I'll probably give up my job soon because it requires travelling when there are projects.

                            I'm just hoping I won't get mad with boredom, and apart from surfing the web, I wondered what other types of things we could do. I guess alot of it has to be home bound in the beginning since I can't lug the baby around if I was planning to do some charity work outside the house.

                            Is there a mom's club where you guys meet in nice places like Botanical Gardens so the baby can have a nice push in the stroller?
                            Plenty to do! I doubt I'll get a chance to feel bored after baby is out. I have plans to enrol myself in some weekly excercise classes, and later on when baby is older, I hope to be able to squeeze time to attend some interest courses (foreign languages, culinary classes, lots more). Will entrust baby to my MIL or mum during the few hours when I'm away. I also hope to bring baby out on my own, to places she likes and can have fun at.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I love being at home so I never have a problem. I am also fortuate because I have friends (some working) who meet up with me on a regular basis for lunch or dinner (so they keep me sane).

                              With baby, she will double the fun of staying at home for me. But I must also say because I have good support, my baby doesn't have to stick with me 24/7. My mom can always baby sit for me.

                              And like mango, I am already planning to take up some part time couses and pass baby to mom during lesson time (when the time is right). I think that stay home mom must realised that they are still an individual with needs for personal growth etc.

                              Comment

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