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  • To be a Mommy?

    For mommies out there .... how is it like being a mother? I am curious & I feel that I can never cope if I ever become a mother someday.

    Many questions .. bear with me please.

    HOw many children do you have?
    Want anymore?
    What's the ideal number?
    Do you work?
    Have a maid?
    How do you manage financially? How much money do you have to spend on baby?
    How do you find time for your husband & of course, yourself?
    How has your partner changed since coming into fatherhood?
    How have YOU changed?
    How does a typical day go?
    Any regrets?

  • #2
    Stella wanted to be mama?

    Comment


    • #3
      Nah ... not yet at least. Maybe in the future. Not too near, mind. I still want to enjoy my alone time with the hubby. There's so many things we want to do together 1st.

      I've always been very fascinated with motherhood. When my ex colleague was pregnant, I read her pregnancy book from cover to cover.

      Comment


      • #4
        HOw many children do you have? = 2

        Want anymore? = 2 is ideal for us

        What's the ideal number? = above

        Do you work? = FTWM

        Have a maid? = Can't live w/o

        How do you manage financially? How much money do you have to
        spend on baby? = Financially manageable.

        How do you find time for your husband & of course, yourself? =
        Couple timeout, once fortnightly. Time out alone (like gg shopping, facial, spa, hanging out with frens) once a week.

        How has your partner changed since coming into fatherhood? = More humorous and jovial.

        How have YOU changed? = Fatter Better time mgt skills

        How does a typical day go? = Typical

        Any regrets? = regret what?

        Comment


        • #5
          How many children do you have?
          1

          Want anymore?
          Maybe in afew years. Might consider adoption too.

          What's the ideal number?
          No idea.

          Do you work?
          Not at the moment. I'm having too much fun looking after the little one. But I definately want to go back to working at some point later on.

          Have a maid?
          Nope. But have a cleaning lady who comes in once a week.

          How do you manage financially?
          Just be abit more careful with money. Because my baby is still very young (almost 4 mths), so baby expense isn't much. Yet.

          How much money do you have to spend on baby?
          Average about $200 for mostly diapers and secondly baby food.

          How do you find time for your husband & of course, yourself?
          Go to the movies, or dine out together with SO whenever possible. SO sometimes doesn't have to go in to office and can work from home, and if he's not busy, he can help to take care of baby, and then I can sneak out to do some shopping, or manicure.

          How has your partner changed since coming into fatherhood?
          I think our relationship is stronger. He is a happier person, and becoming more responsible.

          How have YOU changed?
          My answer is the same with Lilo.
          Bad part: Fatter. On a diet now
          Good part: Better time managnment. More responsible, and "centsible". lol. And oh yeah, I wake up early now. lol.


          How does a typical day go?
          Baby eat, baby poo, baby eat, baby poo, baby eat, baby poo. In between that, I make lunch, and dinner. Do some light house chores. Hang out online.

          Any regrets?
          None at all.

          Comment


          • #6
            Hi atypical,

            I am a proud mother-to- be.. going to approach my 5th month soon. I can tell you are considering your options of being a mother and if you can cope or not. I can share some of my experience.

            I had a painful miscarriage end of last year and this current pregnant happened two months after the operation. (unplanned.. :D ) I am so happy - the whole experience is so wonderful and I am enjoying it totally. I quitted my job at end March and only found out the next day I am pregnant. I even planned for a Japan trip the following Sunday to see the beautiful Sakura just to calm my soul and indulge in total enjoyment from the whole chapter of my MC. God has his own plan for me - little did I knew. I gotten pregnant! For your informatino, I tried about 10 months last year to get concieve.

            My little advice to you. Just do it! Like most of us in Singapore, we worried about the $ - if it is enough to get by. When you have a baby, you will try even harder to make things happen and work. Believe me, you little world become more meaningful.... at least for me and my hubby now.

            Love
            acidica

            P/s I was married in Aug 2002.....

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: A Mommy's Day

              How many children do you have?
              1

              Want anymore?
              Hmm..maybe just one more

              What's the ideal number?
              2

              Do you work?
              No but planning to. I stopped working when during my 2nd trimester because I was having a difficult pregnancy and have not worked since. My child is now 18 months old

              Have a maid?
              No but if i work, i'll probably get one

              How do you manage financially? How much money do you have to spend on baby?
              Thankfully, hubby has a well-paying job so I get a rather generous allowance which allows me to spurge on my kid though I also use some of my savings to buy nice stuff for him and myself

              How do you find time for your husband & of course, yourself?
              Yes. I'm rather blessed to have very supportive in-laws who volunteer to look after my child so that I can go out on my own if I want to or for hubby and I to go dating during the weekends.

              How has your partner changed since coming into fatherhood?
              I won't say that he's changed that much but I can tell that he's enjoying fatherhood and I love watching him play with my child. He always tells me that the best part of his day is coming back home from work and seeing Aidan's face light up when he sees him walking thru the door.

              How have YOU changed?
              Hm..I think I have..for the better. I've mellowed down and am less impulsive. I'd learn to control my temper more too.

              How does a typical day go?
              Erm..I do go out quite often with my kiddo so it's not so easy to describe.

              Any regrets?
              Nope! Motherhood is one of the best thing that has happened to me.


              atypical..just to add, my child was not planned. I was afraid and uncertain initially whether I could handle a newborne child. But all my reservations went away the minute I held him in my arms..Fell in love with him at first sight. Caring for him wasn't that hard..everything's 'on-the-job' training but one can easily get the hang of it

              When the time comes, I'm sure you'll be able to cope. Don't worry too much.

              Comment


              • #8
                riding on Stella's post -

                I am 27 this year and am married for two years, am thinking of becoming a mother one day, just wanna share my thoughts.

                I just feel that i am not "prepared" to be a mother. not financially, but emotionally. I guess my maternal instinct is just not strong enough. Being a mother means being able to provide, to take care, to be a pillar of strength when your kids need you. I just can't see myself as a moral standard for my kids - i like to gossip, I act impulsively, I have mood swing.....

                I am just too scared to become a mother i supposed. My friend told me that you can never be "prepared" to become a mother, you just become one. The responsibility of bring a new life to this world is just too great....

                hubby is very supportive - he told me that if i dont want to have children, it's fine with him. but i want to have children! just that i am not prepared yet....and I don't know when I'll be prepared....

                Comment


                • #9
                  hey kab, this is exactly how i felt when i was your age. Motherhood scares me. I'm afraid that i won't be a good mommy. And there are just so many things that i wanna do and i feel that it's just not fair for the child if i can't juggle everything.

                  After so many years, I've figured that there won't be a time when i can confidently say that i am ready for motherhood. Your friend is right. What i can say know is that i don't resist the idea of having kids. But i'm still scared of not being a good mommy.

                  You are still young, still a few more years to go

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by keiko
                    You are still young, still a few more years to go
                    Very sensitive for me to talk about age, as always, anyway I am older than kab... a person in that age group may not have "a few more years to go". The younger the better to a certain limit (body/ health-wise I mean).

                    You do hear of people much older having successful, healthy pregnancies, but medically speaking, the clock ticks. Whether or not you are looking young, the eggs inside are nevertheless aging...

                    THAT SAID, I do not think anyone should rush to have kids before they are ready just because the eggs are getting older! If you are not ready, just take your time, and if it happens that you are much older by the time you are ready, so be it, nothing to harbour any guilt whatsoever. If you eventually are never ready, then so be it. Freedom of choice

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by mel171103kev
                      Whether or not you are looking young, the eggs inside are nevertheless aging...
                      sad but true!

                      my mum gave birth to me when she was 29. she always said that when she was my age she was much more mature than i am right now. but i think generally the older generation went through more in life so they are more mature than our generation.

                      maybe the thing about me is that my biological age and my psychological age are not in sync! (young at heart ? )
                      i am just worried that when i am emotionally to be a mother, my body may not be up to it!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My mom gave birth to me when she was 33 and I will be a mother for the first time soon after I turned 31.

                        I will always be a child at heart and I am always blessed with lotsa love from the people around me. I am not a good care giver because in all my relationships with the people around me, I am always receiving more. But, at my age I feel really good about myself and the person I have become. I don't think I am too old or anything like that as my hubby and I have always followed our heart. We have such a wonderful and enjoyable marriage (celebrating our 4th soon ) and we also know one day we will celebrate our love with children.


                        I believe that the first thing about being a parent is love. And next is self sacrifice (time, energy, $ spend on child instead on ourselves etc). Its true we can never be "prepared" to be a mother/parent (because we are all imperfect). But it is equally true that if we are not prepared financially or mentally and become a parent thats being irresponsible.


                        However, having said all these. I believe with love and my willingness to give my child the best and the same thinking from my hubby, I will learn along and become a good mother. Plus, I know God will see us through. At the end of the day, one need to embrace parenthood. I guess whatever decisions we make for ourselves, we are answerable only to ourselves (and of course, our children).

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by kab
                          sad but true!

                          my mum gave birth to me when she was 29. she always said that when she was my age she was much more mature than i am right now. but i think generally the older generation went through more in life so they are more mature than our generation.

                          maybe the thing about me is that my biological age and my psychological age are not in sync! (young at heart ? )
                          i am just worried that when i am emotionally to be a mother, my body may not be up to it!
                          When my mom was my age, she already had 4 children. I think we shouldn't compare ourselves with our mothers..the environment and conditions were different then and women at that time do tend to give birth much younger (tho yeah, 29 then was considered not the norm actually).

                          I was 33 yrs old when I had Aidan. Rather late actually. I married at when I was 30 and I didn't want to rush into having kids even though I wasn't young anymore. Actually, Aidan wasn't even planned and I wasn't mentally prepared initially to have a kid too. I thought that I couldn't possibly handle a kid when I was still a child at heart.

                          But you'll realise later that having a baby isn't as tough as you thought it would be. If someone of my age and condition (no longer a spring chicken hehe) and mentality is able to manage and cope, I'm sure most of you will
                          Last edited by angelia; 13-06-2004, 12:08 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by angelia
                            I was 33 yrs old when I had Aidan. Rather late actually. I married at when I was 30 and I didn't want to rush into having kids even though I wasn't young anymore. Actually, Aidan wasn't even planned and I wasn't mentally prepared initially to have a kid too. I thought that I couldn't possibly handle a kid when I was still a child at heart.

                            But you'll realise later that having a baby isn't as tough as you thought it would be. If someone of my age and condition (no longer a spring chicken hehe) and mentality is able to manage and cope, I'm sure most of you will
                            Hi Angelia,

                            Saw your photos - its so lovely...

                            I just pass my 32nd birthday. Like Angelica - I think I am quite late too. I will be birthing at Dec this year. Currently 4 mths pregnant.

                            BUT I must say the feeling so different - I think age really plays a part. One day your maternal instinct will just kick in. I married at 30 and felt that I wanted to enjoy my married life first. But the MC was the biggest blow to me and my preception changes after that. I realise having a child for me and hubby makes our world more meaningful and cherishable...Now I did wish I given birth earlier so that I was more energetic to play and take care of baby..

                            Not rushing anyone - just sharing some thots..

                            Now I am a happy mommy to be - cant wait....

                            love
                            acidica

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by kab
                              I am just too scared to become a mother i supposed. My friend told me that you can never be "prepared" to become a mother, you just become one. The responsibility of bring a new life to this world is just too great....

                              hubby is very supportive - he told me that if i dont want to have children, it's fine with him. but i want to have children! just that i am not prepared yet....and I don't know when I'll be prepared....
                              Hi kab,

                              You have such a sweet hubby..... happy for you.. remind me of my own hubby too..

                              Dont worry, one day you will have instinct when time is right... Dont wait too long... meanwhile enjoy yourself!

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