Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sleeping ... or NOT

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Sleeping ... or NOT

    Hi mommies,

    I want to find out how long do your babies sleep? I thought new babies are supposed to sleep at least 2/3 of the time but mine does not!

    I really have problems during the day especially on her fussy days, she just doesn't go into deep sleep at all! When I carry her and she dozes off, she wakes up almost immediately after I put her down. Then she looks around and starts to cry for sure, until someone picks her up again. It's really exhausting for me during the day because I can't get any naps longer than an hour.

    Am I spoiling her by carrying her too much? I resorted to putting her in the sling and carrying her while doing my own stuff. Baby experts seem to advocate "baby wearing" and comforting the baby when they cry, but I've been hearing comments from other parents that I shouldn't carry her all the time when she cries, that would spoile her. I'm confused .. not sure whether to let her cry it out sometimes. I doubt she has colic as she does stop crying after 15-20 minutes if I don't pick her up.

  • #2
    Firstly, HUGE HUGS! It must be really tiring.

    Some babies do not sleep very often, sadly for the mums!

    Perhaps you could try nursing her to sleep and nap with her at the same time, to reduce your tiredness (nurse lying down). If you want to do your own things, make sure she enters deep sleep before you detach the nipple.

    For more info, here's a good article about baby's sleeping cycles and why they wake lightly:

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

    Here's the index page for issues concerning baby sleep:

    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

    <i>Am I spoiling her by carrying her too much? I resorted to putting her in the sling and carrying her while doing my own stuff. Baby experts seem to advocate "baby wearing" and comforting the baby when they cry </i>

    I for one will applaud you for doing this. What does your mummy instincts telll you? I believe that babies are young, new to this world and it's reasonable that they'd be frightened and want the person who gives them the most comfort - YOU. Some babies are less needy but that doesn't make your baby's needs less real.

    I always ask mothers how they would like to be left alone crying in terror and helplessness. Some people say we shouldn't spoil them but you can't spoil a baby, when you're responding to their needs! And babies are not manipulating you no matter how other ignorant people might perceive it.

    And mogmick, your baby is still young, still adjusting, give her a little more time and you may find that it gets better as she grows older She could also be going through a milestone or growth spurt hence the increased fussiness.

    to you!

    Comment


    • #3
      hi mogmick, pls go with ur instincts and do what you feel its right. its impossible to spoil a baby who is less than 6 months old as they are crying out of need rather than manipulation.

      i know it is very tiring coping with a newborn's incessant demands but it will definitely get better. you will then enjoy the fruits of these carrying/bonding sessions as you see a happy and confident baby.

      Comment


      • #4
        I often placed my daughter in a proned position on my body (her head on my chest) and she can sleep hours in this position. In this way, I doze and take a nap too. Another thing I used to do is to carry her for awhile, then lie her down beside me (still in cradle position and I would be lying on my side). Sometimes, I fall asleep with her like that. And if I need to be away, after she's asleep, I simply slip my hand away slowly and tuck a small bolster beside her (where I was lying down). This works quite well for me too.

        I don't and never did believe that a mother can ever carry her baby too much. Let me tell you, I carried my daughter all the time when she was a newborn, despite my MIL insisting otherwise. I don't feel that it has spoilt her or anything. She's a little over a year old now and since a long time ago, she can soothe herself to sleep very well. Though now and then, I still like to hold her and tuck her to sleep like when she was an infant.

        Personally, I think lots of body contact helps an infant feel more secure and sleep better. Even now, I still do carry her pretty often, but she is getting heavier and these days, sometimes, she doesn't even want to be carried. When babies gain a certain amount of mobility, they don't really want to be carried all that much anymore. I am glad that I did carry her to the 'fullest' when she was younger.

        So seriously, when else is there a better time to carry your infant than when she's a newborn? NOW, is the only time in her entire life that she wants to be held by you ALL the time. A year down the road, she'll wriggle away when you try to carry her.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Moo
          hi mogmick, pls go with ur instincts and do what you feel its right. its impossible to spoil a baby who is less than 6 months old as they are crying out of need rather than manipulation.
          I totally agree with Moo here. Some babies are not as needy as others. From the begining till about 2 mths or so, my daughter slept so much be it day or night, that sometimes my hubby and I would wonder if she is ok. lol. Your baby girl probably just wanna be as close to her mummy as she can. Afterall she was living in her for the last 9 mths. She is still probably adjusting to this big strange world. I have never tried this, but my relative swears that her baby when newborn would better when mummy plays her the Mozart for Babies CD.

          Comment


          • #6
            Timely thread, this is something I've been facing with my baby. For sahms with no other help, if we were to carry our baby ALL the time (presuming your baby is like mine, she really wants to be carried 24 hours if possible), then how in the world to get anything done?? As much as I'm concerned about her need for comfort and security and assurance and everything else she needs, I also need to do other things like shower, cook, clean, eat, pee, poo.

            Actually, I really dont believe in allowing baby to 'cry it out', but I also dont believe in carrying/nursing all the time. I need to find an in-between solution soon.

            Comment


            • #7
              perhaps use a sling whilst doing stuff or wait till the baby is fully asleep before putting the baby down, quickly try and get other stuff done.

              IMO, the 1st few months are adjustment months, be prepared to let the cleanliness of the house slide a little.

              Comment


              • #8
                For those who sling your baby, does your baby sweat? I imagine its quite hot to be in a sling? My baby sweats easily, I have to on the living room aircon (not freezing cold of course) or else she would sweat buckets on humid days.

                Comment


                • #9
                  ................
                  Last edited by Medusa; 15-11-2008, 01:34 AM. Reason: ....................

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What a timely topic. I've just started reading Dr Sear's The Baby Book and the 1st chapter was on attachment parenting (which i've yet to finish reading). But i've got a question (not sure if i can find the answer by the time i finish the book).
                    While I don't advocate letting baby cry it out and i intend to try slinging the baby, I'm concerned about the fact that i've got to go back to work after 6 mths and baby may not be used to not being attached to mommy. How would i make the transition easier for baby? Will baby feel abandoned now that mommy is not around most of the time?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Mango, I think you and I have the same situation. I'm also alone at home during the day looking after my baby. It REALLY is tiring, especially when she doesn't fall alseep easily.

                      I've had no choice but to let her cry it out sometimes when I'm in the bathroom. Sometimes she bawls for about 10 minutes before going to sleep. Sometimes when I'm done, I just come out and carry her again. *sigh* I'm hoping she will get better when she gets older. Or I'll go a bit crazy. Somehow the last few nights, I had problems putting her to sleep and it's been quite a few late nights for me

                      Yah, I agree carrying with sling can get hot, especially these few days (extra hot days!). Our utility bill will prb shoot up since I'm at home all day with the air con turned on.

                      Hang in there mango...i know I need to too!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi all, I've been nursing baby to sleep since birth and am starting to worry that she cannot fall asleep on her own.

                        Have read about "controlled crying" and the Ferber method. Also noted that many experts oppose these methods too. Those of u with older babies, do you use sleeping aids (breast, bottle, pacifier) and did you "wean" baby off these and how?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          ....................
                          Last edited by Medusa; 15-11-2008, 01:34 AM. Reason: ......................

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mogmick
                            Have read about "controlled crying" and the Ferber method. Also noted that many experts oppose these methods too. Those of u with older babies, do you use sleeping aids (breast, bottle, pacifier) and did you "wean" baby off these and how?
                            Mogmick, I have read about this method but I don't really support such a method. I also do nurse Paris to sleep but she does not "request" to be nurse to sleep all the time. Usually, we rock her abit and she can fall asleep too. She has fallen asleep on her own before but thats very rare.

                            I am against pacifier but I have them at home as they are gifts from our cheeky friend to my hubby when Paris was born. The other day, Paris was crying like what Mel described (no reason but inconsolable), I gave her the pacifier (to see how she would react) but so funny she doesn't want it. Anyway, I won't advocate it. Pacifier might even cos further distress when you try to wean it and its bad for baby's teeth.

                            Now, Paris is fine, the crying was probably due to irritation due to her jabs but I always have lots of backup plans, tricks up my sleeves, I am installing a hook on the ceiling for a baby hammock. A hammock may not be good for baby's back too but at least during desperate situations at least I have something that might help Paris fall asleep.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by mogmick
                              Hi all, I've been nursing baby to sleep since birth and am starting to worry that she cannot fall asleep on her own.

                              Have read about "controlled crying" and the Ferber method. Also noted that many experts oppose these methods too. Those of u with older babies, do you use sleeping aids (breast, bottle, pacifier) and did you "wean" baby off these and how?
                              I'm personally not with Ferber's method, but I dont opposed strongly to it either. I believe that all babies are different, and they all respond differently to different methods of parenting, what that works for one baby might not work for another, and only a mummy who is close and sensitive to her baby will know what works best.

                              For me for now, my baby needs a pacifier to drop off to sleep. But for night-time sleep, she usually spits it out on her own after she's fell asleep soundly (otherwise I remove it for her, and she is fine). I'm thinking of weaning her off pacifier before she turns one; And btw, for those of you who doesn't know this- it does not affect their permanent teeth if babies are weaned off sucking their thumbs/pacifiers before they turn 3 or 4. Alot of BF mums I know use their breasts as pacificers and I think its harder for their babies to be weaned off comfort nursing than usage of pacificers unless they wait until the baby herself weaned off this habit, which (I'm talking about comfort nursing here) sometimes could be when the child is 3 or 4 years and beyond. And I believe it causes baby a much larger amount of distress. To each his own.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X