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  • Living with the In-Laws

    Just being curious.. do u girls mind staying with ur future hubby;s family ?? and if any guy is to answer in the thread... will there be a plus point if ur girl willing to stay with ur parents ?

  • #2
    For me I will definitely not stay with my husband's family really clash no way.

    Pros: kids take care by them, can eat home cooked food often, if your MIL good enough clothes wash and iron by her too. No need to clean the whole house by yourself.

    Cons: if your MIL is those traditional type you are dead meat because everything you must do doesn't matter you are working full time too, no privacy, must listen to constant nagging..etc

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    • #3
      i get along well with my in-laws, and I want to keep it that way, so no, I would not stay with them and my husband wouldn't want me to either! Of course when they are older and they want to live with us, that's a different story, then I would be happy to help look after them.

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      • #4
        i can stay with my in-laws ... for holidays only! No way! even hubby doesn't like to stay with them, he moved out before we get married. Believe it or not, i m a better housewife than my MIL, she can't even get the family to swallow her cooking & FIL is the 1 doing all the houseworks all these years.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by cc_lia
          For me I will definitely not stay with my husband's family really clash no way.

          Pros: kids take care by them, can eat home cooked food often, if your MIL good enough clothes wash and iron by her too. No need to clean the whole house by yourself.

          Cons: if your MIL is those traditional type you are dead meat because everything you must do doesn't matter you are working full time too, no privacy, must listen to constant nagging..etc
          I share the same sentiment as you.

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          • #6
            I broke off an engagement because he did not fulfill his promise of not staying with his mum. I was not being diffcult but I only need at least a year or 2 of couple life and I am ready to stay with his mum.

            In my view, I can't stay with in-laws. Who says that they will wash clothes for you? My girlfriend mum-in-law left her clothes out purposely. I asked my mum she also says that she will not wash my brother's wife's clothes. What's worse, my girlfriend mum-in-law dont cook her meals and ask her to packet back.

            All my married friends got so many problem with their in-laws, I don't want to take the risk.

            I don't want this kind of life, no way. At the same time, I dont wish that the relationship between me and my husband be strain because of in-laws.

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            • #7
              i stayed with my SO's family for a yr before we moved to our new place.

              it wasnt that bad actually cos really his parents are quite open-minded about things.

              giving and taking is quite important, cos really should try before giving up and say "no, i dont want to stay with your parents ever!"

              think of it, if SO said that of your parents, how would u feel?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by sn0wny
                I broke off an engagement because he did not fulfill his promise of not staying with his mum. I was not being diffcult but I only need at least a year or 2 of couple life and I am ready to stay with his mum.

                In my view, I can't stay with in-laws. Who says that they will wash clothes for you? My girlfriend mum-in-law left her clothes out purposely. I asked my mum she also says that she will not wash my brother's wife's clothes. What's worse, my girlfriend mum-in-law dont cook her meals and ask her to packet back.

                All my married friends got so many problem with their in-laws, I don't want to take the risk.

                I don't want this kind of life, no way. At the same time, I dont wish that the relationship between me and my husband be strain because of in-laws.
                Gosh, they treated your friend like an outsider even though she's married to their son! I really don't understand what goes on in their little minds...

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by sn0wny
                  In my view, I can't stay with in-laws. Who says that they will wash clothes for you? My girlfriend mum-in-law left her clothes out purposely. I asked my mum she also says that she will not wash my brother's wife's clothes. What's worse, my girlfriend mum-in-law dont cook her meals and ask her to packet back.
                  your girlfriend now starting to think about getting their own place?

                  her MIL cook for everyone except her? that's too mean doesn't the husband feel anything?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by sn0wny
                    My girlfriend mum-in-law left her clothes out purposely. I asked my mum she also says that she will not wash my brother's wife's clothes.
                    What's your ma's reason for not washing the clothes? Could it be that she won't wanna ruin them - just in case? I'm not gonna use your ma's reason as a basis for debate. There're extremely fussy people out there who'd rather wash their own clothes and hang their own clothes - their way. What I'm trying to say is: good intentions are sometimes misconstrued. If there's no communication, then how can anyone be so certain what's going on in their heads? Wanting to get along is a team effort. Just as staying together with your darling, just the two of you, is teamwork.

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                    • #11
                      Even though I can get along well with my in-laws and in fact respect them and treat them like my own parents, I will try to avoid staying with them if possible. Reason being I enjoy the good relationship with them and I do not want to spoil this good relationship as a result of some inevitable friction when we stay together. Even for my own mother, I feel that our relationship is much better now that we are not staying together. We make it a point to visit both sets of parents regularly though

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                      • #12
                        No way. I don't like people doing my housework for me and I don't want to do other people's housework either. If I have kids I'll want to bring them up myself, perhaps with a little help from parents on weekends, but I'm not going to depend on in-laws for anything. It's definitely not in-laws' responsibility to take care of anything - I think that's tradition but not obligation.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by natnatviv


                          giving and taking is quite important, cos really should try before giving up and say "no, i dont want to stay with your parents ever!"

                          think of it, if SO said that of your parents, how would u feel?
                          Actually, I beg to differ. It's too much at risk. Once the relationship soured, there is little hope to salvage the damage.

                          I actually don't mind if my SO says the same with my parents. My mum can get a little "whoppy" sometimes....

                          Anyway I made my intentions clear before the relationship got serious. Yes. It did chase some away. But hey, I still have my sanity intact.

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                          • #14
                            It's something I won't mind, because my bf's mom is a really nice person.
                            On the other hand, my mom (with her absolutely bad experience) tells me she won't allow me to marry if I am going to have to stay with the in-laws.

                            Sometimes, mother in laws view their daughter in laws as competition for their son and go out of the way to be difficult and attention seeking. My grandmother has been doing that for more than two decades.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Glossie
                              What I'm trying to say is: good intentions are sometimes misconstrued.
                              I'm curious in your point of view here. How good can their intentions be if they do not cook for the DIL?

                              Anyhow, we're only hearing snippets of the story, never be too soon to judge them.

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