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Infant Care vs Domestic Help

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  • Infant Care vs Domestic Help

    Hi gals,

    I'm expecting my first boy due first week of March next year. Hubby and I are now weighing our options with regards to care of our boy. Trouble is that I'm gonna continue to work after the 3 mths maternity leave and both our parents are still working and nowhere near retirement.

    We're debating whether to opt for infant care or to get domestic help and get Hubby's gandparents to supervise during the day. We really loathe the idea of getting domestic help... can't bear the thought of having another person staying with us and having to get used to her (not to mention all the horror stories we've heard!! ). But infant care seems pretty expensive as compared to domestic help.

    Can you gals share your experiences and give me some advice? Would appreciate some info on infant care if you have coz none of my friends opted for that service.

  • #2
    Hi there! hope i can be of help. i have 2 kids, one (daughter) is coming 2 yrs and another (son)coming 3 mths. for my daughter, i had the same thinking as you and i sent her to infant care. at that time, infant care is hardly heard of and there were limited number of centres. as i wasnt v comfortable getting a maid and my inlaws were also working and also totally clueless abt taking care of a bb, i felt more comfortable sending my daughter to professional caregivers. the plus pt is the professional care, the cons is that you have to rush to send and pick up, kid often sick, weekends you will have to take care fulltime. so for 2 years, i had not gone for dinners or shopping after work! now she is in childcare. when son came along, we decided we will get a maid. now my mil is more confident in taking care of a young bb and the supervision too. at first i was also v uncomfortable with stranger in the house but i slowly got used to her. the maid is coming to 4 mths with us now, she is hardworking and can get along with the 2 children. when she first came, it was the first weekend i cld really just sleep without trying to coordinate with my daughter's nap time (at that time i havent deliver yet). the pros is that there is someone to take care of all the household chores. cook and u need not rush to pick up kid. the cons is that u have to supervise and teach.

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    • #3
      Hi camelot,
      What lerler wrote about infant care is very true, you will have no time for yourself at all. Also don't forget that at infant care centers, there are many other babies, when those babies get sick, they may infect your baby too.

      IMHO the best arrangement for a new born baby is to have a maid supervised by an elderly at home. If you do not like to have a stranger at home, and you don't stay with your in-laws, what you can do is register the maid at your in-laws place. The maid will always stay at their house, and you can pick up the baby after work. The advantage of this over infant care, is that it will be more flexible and you will not have to rush back home to pick up the baby. You can ask the maid to feed the baby dinner, bathe her and wash all her clothes at your in-laws place. This way when you are back home you don't have to do anything except play with the baby and get her to sleep.

      In my case, my mother comes over to stay with us during the weekdays to supervise the maid. I am so grateful to her, because I still enjoy a lot of freedom like going shopping, out for dinners, and even short trips overseas. At first I also did not like a stranger in the house. However, good maids are supposed to know how to be as "invisible" as possible, for example, she should not enter any of the bedrooms without permission, she should not touch any of our things without permission, and she should not sit on any of our beds, sofas or chairs. When she has nothing to do at all, she should stay in the kitchen or her own room. A maid that goes poking around the house should be sent back.

      Anyway after a while I got so used to my maid after almost 2 years, and I treat her like my younger sister. She adores my children. My children call her auntie, and I make sure that they respect her like any other elders. When we go out to eat, she sits together and eats the same meals with us. The maid takes care of our most precious babies, so it is important to build mutual trust with her.
      Last edited by tamarind; 11-11-2005, 02:20 PM.

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      • #4
        Thanks so much tamarind and lerler! Told my hubby your advice and we also agree that having an extra help in the house won't hurt. We'll just have to get used to the idea of a stranger in the house and set some ground rules so that we can all live in peace. Hubby's grandpa has volunteered to supervise the maid and our baby in the day so at least we can go to work with some peace of mind!

        Thanks again!

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