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  • What should I do?

    I fancy a female colleague I knew recently and so is another male colleague too, who I hang out with often. The problem here is that he keeps telling me that he just want to get sexual satisfaction out of her and that's it, for the fun of it. How should I warn her? Obviously, I would want to give her some form of hint about his intention but not so much to destroy my relationship with this male colleague.

  • #2
    Originally posted by smallgas View Post
    I fancy a female colleague I knew recently and so is another male colleague too, who I hang out with often. The problem here is that he keeps telling me that he just want to get sexual satisfaction out of her and that's it, for the fun of it. How should I warn her? Obviously, I would want to give her some form of hint about his intention but not so much to destroy my relationship with this male colleague.
    Well - she's neither your girlfriend or a close friend and therefore makes it tricky to "warn her" without destroying your male code of honour with the other male colleague.

    You must be prepared to take sides - either side with her meaning tell her or with your male colleague meaning keep quiet about it.

    If you get stuck in between trying to be a "nice guy" to both sides, you will end up loosing both of them and looking like a wuss to both. Of course if both of them don't really matter much to you.. then it doesn't really matter whichever option you take.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Mimosabreeze View Post
      Well - she's neither your girlfriend or a close friend and therefore makes it tricky to "warn her" without destroying your male code of honour with the other male colleague.

      You must be prepared to take sides - either side with her meaning tell her or with your male colleague meaning keep quiet about it.

      If you get stuck in between trying to be a "nice guy" to both sides, you will end up loosing both of them and looking like a wuss to both. Of course if both of them don't really matter much to you.. then it doesn't really matter whichever option you take.
      Thanks babe. I know this is going to be hard. I am the type of person like you said, who wants to be the nice guy to both sides. I guess I'll have to make a choice eventually but I'm still hoping that I do not need to. I don't even know if I had a chance with her and yet I am trying to be her white knight. Maybe I should just take a step at a time.

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      • #4
        I think, if your female colleague does like this guy as well, maybe she wouldnt mind being together with him and going into the sexual stage. It takes two hands to clap, so if she refused to, he can't get his way then. And if she is willing to, this guy is considered ''lucky'' to get what he wants.

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        • #5
          Make her your girlfriend...

          ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

          For great creativity and fun, check out Unique Fun Gifts Facebook page

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Demure09 View Post
            I think, if your female colleague does like this guy as well, maybe she wouldnt mind being together with him and going into the sexual stage. It takes two hands to clap, so if she refused to, he can't get his way then. And if she is willing to, this guy is considered ''lucky'' to get what he wants.
            Well, I have to agree with you that it takes two hands to clap, and I can't be sure if she fancies me although she initiated to chat with me. I guess I'll have to let nature takes its course.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by janelin View Post
              Make her your girlfriend...

              ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

              For great creativity and fun, check out Unique Fun Gifts Facebook page
              Of course I wished this to come true.

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              • #8
                you could always try to brainwash your guy friend into not being an asshole? (: Just like, keep teasing him about how uncool it is to be a jerk.. of course don't put it so bluntly but he'll get it that it's not an accepted behavior?

                In the meantime, just do your best to get the girl before she become his!! You can do it!

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                • #9
                  I guess you have to ask yourself if fancying this colleague of yours relates to you being interested enough to go after her.If I were in your shoes I will definitely feel a myriad of emotions such as panic, confusion, protection, jealousy, though if you look at it positively, they are actually guiding you in the right path.

                  Anyway in my opinion, letting nature take its course might not be exactly a right thing to do in this situation. Similarly to how it takes donkey years just for waves to break down a huge chunk of rock, you might want to make some effort if you really do like her. Even if you are ultimately cast aside into the infamous "friend zone", it does not harm to actually point out the guy's ill intention discreetly.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Arisbel View Post
                    you could always try to brainwash your guy friend into not being an asshole? (: Just like, keep teasing him about how uncool it is to be a jerk.. of course don't put it so bluntly but he'll get it that it's not an accepted behavior?

                    In the meantime, just do your best to get the girl before she become his!! You can do it!
                    I did tried but I failed. Anyway, he has left the job.
                    I have met her on a few occasions and chatted a little with her. I'm doing my best to get her comfortable talking with me. Thanks Arisbel.


                    Originally posted by Andre- View Post
                    I guess you have to ask yourself if fancying this colleague of yours relates to you being interested enough to go after her.If I were in your shoes I will definitely feel a myriad of emotions such as panic, confusion, protection, jealousy, though if you look at it positively, they are actually guiding you in the right path.

                    Anyway in my opinion, letting nature take its course might not be exactly a right thing to do in this situation. Similarly to how it takes donkey years just for waves to break down a huge chunk of rock, you might want to make some effort if you really do like her. Even if you are ultimately cast aside into the infamous "friend zone", it does not harm to actually point out the guy's ill intention discreetly.
                    Thanks, I am doing something about it.

                    However, I felt that it is best not to eat and release in the same place. I have had bad experience before, but ...

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                    • #11
                      Smallgas, mind if I ask how old are you by the way ?

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                      • #12
                        smallgas oh come on every new experience is a different one

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Mimosabreeze View Post
                          Smallgas, mind if I ask how old are you by the way ?
                          I've sent you a pm. Thanks.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Andre- View Post
                            smallgas oh come on every new experience is a different one
                            Andre, I understand that. Sometimes, I fear of gossips going around in the office, and being labeled as a playboy or Casanova, which I am not.

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                            • #15
                              Smallgas - PM you back.

                              Re: Labelled as a playboy

                              Have you gathered any reputation of being a playboy or a cassanova in the office yet ? It's not easy to be one you know ??

                              If you were one, you wouldn't be on this forum asking for advice. Meaning you are not a smooth operator and meaning you aren't a playboy or a cassanova !

                              A straight guy fancying a female colleague and wants to make advances, no big deal. How is that a playboy ?

                              Don't over think too much.

                              If you can't bring yourself to make advances towards her at work due to bad experiences or whatever other reasons you've got - then you gotta move on.

                              Plenty of other fishes in the sea, just don't look for them at your workplace since you can't get pass the workplace gossips and pressure yourself. There is more than just one sea in the world you know
                              Last edited by Mimosabreeze; 11-12-2011, 02:57 PM. Reason: Typooo !

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