Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

What should I do?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Mimosabreeze View Post
    Smallgas - PM you back.

    Re: Labelled as a playboy

    Have you gathered any reputation of being a playboy or a cassanova in the office yet ? It's not easy to be one you know ??

    If you were one, you wouldn't be on this forum asking for advice. Meaning you are not a smooth operator and meaning you aren't a playboy or a cassanova !

    A straight guy fancying a female colleague and wants to make advances, no big deal. How is that a playboy ?

    Don't over think too much.

    If you can't bring yourself to make advances towards her at work due to bad experiences or whatever other reasons you've got - then you gotta move on.

    Plenty of other fishes in the sea, just don't look for them at your workplace since you can't get pass the workplace gossips and pressure yourself. There is more than just one sea in the world you know
    No, I have not. But because my previous relationship was with a colleague in the same company. Pardon me for saying this but please do not underestimate gossipers in my company and they distort the facts too.

    I don't mind becoming popular in the office but not for the wrong reason.

    Thank you for the understanding.

    Comment


    • #17
      smallgas if you dont mind me asking, including this girl you fancy, that would be a total of 2 girls in your company you have fallen for so far, and one of them has actually been in a relationship with you. So what was the deciding factor in you two separating? Was it the gossips or other factors? And how long has it been since the previous relationship that you started fancying this girl?

      In my opinion even if a decent couple exist in the workplace, there shouldn't be too much gossips stemming from it, and even if there was, it will just be dismissed as rumors because everybody would know how nice they are right?

      Comment


      • #18
        Andre, yes you are correct. The reason we separated was because of a choice she made and lied about it, which I cannot accept. Our relationship was under the radar but I know that gossip have made its way around in the office but luckily, it was contained within one or two departments (I think so, but who knows).

        I fancy this new colleague for about a month or so. Of course I would really hope that things will turn out smooth like you described but we'll see.

        Comment


        • #19
          But really, is there a rule that says you cannot date different people in the same company ? Like you said, it's a PREVIOUS relationship, I am assuming that you ended it on a good note and had a closure with the other girl. No ? If you did not, then it's tricky and then yes... you MAY be labelled as a playboy. But if you ended it on a good note with the previous girl, then there is no reason why you are a playboy ? You are simply moving on.

          And if you want to live your life based on gossipers and facts distorter, and not by your heart and the girl you really want then you are simply not cut out for office romance which brings me back to my last post - plenty of fishes in the sea and there isn't only just one sea out there. Nothing wrong with that. I for one will never sh*t where I eat ! Too much at stake and too much effort.

          And there is nothing to be pardon because I can totally understand these gossipers because god knows what gossips can do harm to your career at the workplace.

          End of the day, I guess I just don't understand why a straight guy who fancies a female colleague would be labelled as a playboy !!?! This was before you gave the full story.

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by Mimosabreeze View Post
            But really, is there a rule that says you cannot date different people in the same company ? Like you said, it's a PREVIOUS relationship, I am assuming that you ended it on a good note and had a closure with the other girl. No ? If you did not, then it's tricky and then yes... you MAY be labelled as a playboy. But if you ended it on a good note with the previous girl, then there is no reason why you are a playboy ? You are simply moving on.

            And if you want to live your life based on gossipers and facts distorter, and not by your heart and the girl you really want then you are simply not cut out for office romance which brings me back to my last post - plenty of fishes in the sea and there isn't only just one sea out there. Nothing wrong with that. I for one will never sh*t where I eat ! Too much at stake and too much effort.

            And there is nothing to be pardon because I can totally understand these gossipers because god knows what gossips can do harm to your career at the workplace.

            End of the day, I guess I just don't understand why a straight guy who fancies a female colleague would be labelled as a playboy !!?! This was before you gave the full story.
            No, there is no rule, but a matter of personal principles if I do have one. Indeed, that is a previous relationship, and what happened had happened, nothing I can do to change that. It was her frivolous and fickle behaviour that resulted in our separation, and to sum it up, we didn't end in a good note. I am moving on.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by smallgas View Post
              No, there is no rule, but a matter of personal principles if I do have one. Indeed, that is a previous relationship, and what happened had happened, nothing I can do to change that. It was her frivolous and fickle behaviour that resulted in our separation, and to sum it up, we didn't end in a good note. I am moving on.
              Glad to hear that you are moving on, and I suppose that now you are caught in a dilemna. To follow your heart and go afer the girl you fancy but risk the "flying knives" of your gossipy ( like omg how immature they are ) colleagues, or to row your boat out to the sea and cast somewhere quieter where you know there is no danger lurking under the surface and pray that your colleague can somehow sense the danger.

              Personally my SO is someone I dated in the same office too back then when we were working together so office relationships are actually possible. In my case I actually confided in a few other colleagues about my feelings and apparently there was no gossip because it wasnt an affair that was kept under the covers. I guess its how you handle the people around you and also how you come across to them, if you have been mixing exclusively with females or pass snide comments on them, then of course you would be evaluated as a playboy but if not, then no worries !

              Anyway on a side note, why dont you start gaining her trust first, even if ultimately you two dont get together, I am sure she will treasure you for telling her the truth about the guy ( that is if the guy is not some smooth talker that can put you in a bad light )

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Andre- View Post
                Glad to hear that you are moving on, and I suppose that now you are caught in a dilemna. To follow your heart and go afer the girl you fancy but risk the "flying knives" of your gossipy ( like omg how immature they are ) colleagues, or to row your boat out to the sea and cast somewhere quieter where you know there is no danger lurking under the surface and pray that your colleague can somehow sense the danger.

                Personally my SO is someone I dated in the same office too back then when we were working together so office relationships are actually possible. In my case I actually confided in a few other colleagues about my feelings and apparently there was no gossip because it wasnt an affair that was kept under the covers. I guess its how you handle the people around you and also how you come across to them, if you have been mixing exclusively with females or pass snide comments on them, then of course you would be evaluated as a playboy but if not, then no worries !

                Anyway on a side note, why dont you start gaining her trust first, even if ultimately you two dont get together, I am sure she will treasure you for telling her the truth about the guy ( that is if the guy is not some smooth talker that can put you in a bad light )
                Indeed I am caught in a dilemma. Sometimes, I have the confidence, but sometimes I don't. Thanks for telling me your success story. I hope for the same. I am trying to communicate and to get to know her more before I take a bigger step.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Not to sound harsh but ;

                  >Be a man and step up, ladies appreciate a decisive (not overly-controlling) guy ...But then you can always wait on the sidelines and watch your bro step up and succeed in wooing her, of course, by then its to late to say anything.

                  Comment

                  Working...
                  X