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Can you accept if your bf has an ex wife?

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  • FrancesSeymour
    replied
    Everything is fair in love and war....
    I am accepted but don't ask him to leave her wife too.
    Only i need is he love me without any condition.



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  • Sealife.Razzle
    replied
    It doesn't matter, I can accept it. I like this guy, we are still friends, but I really do hope to get to know him better and be together. He has divorced his wife, due to culture differences. So they are no longer together, though they are still friends, that I can't help it. I do feel jealous and insecure, but I hope in future I will be the right one for him and he will stay faithful to me.

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  • ribenalim
    replied
    If the love is deep enough, I'm sure you will be able to accept him as what StieveJhon said. Love can overcome all obstacles.

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  • StieveJhon
    replied
    Depends on your love how much both you are involve with each other, if his feelings true and
    you think he really love you, then whatever i think acceptation is good option. save my relationship

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  • smithstyle
    replied
    She is already the ex wife, so let it be history. So long as now he treats you well, that is more important.

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  • DanceAway
    replied
    Does not matter coz the relationship is me and him (not inclusive of ex-wife).

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  • Marlenepaige
    replied
    I can accept it if I really love him that much to accept everything. It's already over and if both parties really can't get along and it has to end up with a divorce then it shall be.

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  • pommiepommie
    replied
    Originally posted by debz View Post
    thanks! yup, i never raise or broach the issue.. whenever he feels like or is ready to talk more abt it, i'll be all ears!
    That's great! Keep it up you two ~

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  • Borgen-breeze
    replied
    Originally posted by debz View Post
    BTW, any idea how i can delete this thread? thanks!
    Nope ! Don't think you can ! You can only keep praying that nobody replies to this thread anymore so that it falls to the bottom of the page eventually.

    But I'm curious how did your talk with the guy ended ? And what is it that the both of you talked about ? Were there any mutual agreement in the end or one side of the party has to end up comprising another side ?

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  • debz
    replied
    BTW, any idea how i can delete this thread? thanks!

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  • debz
    replied
    thanks for your replies did end up bringing it up a bit and talked about it.. all good now thanks agn and have a good weekend!!

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  • petites26
    replied
    And what if he has kids, you may have to love his kids too. Treat them as they are your very own kids, love them with all your heart. Of course it's possible if you have the kindest heart in the world. Kids are innocent, they are still young and it's hard for them to understand a lot of things going on. Being with a man who is divorced may not be that easy.

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  • Borgen-breeze
    replied
    Originally posted by KarenXie View Post
    I can accept it. Sometimes things happened to make them a better person as they have been through much .
    Only if you are lucky enough to appear at the right timing of the divorced person's life stage - ie. he/she has manage to let go and totally ready to start a new chapter without baggage from the past still tugging along. Any timing before this "ready stage" is usually a disaster. You will either end up as the rebound partner or as the nurse/counselor/psychiatrist licking up the injured wounds.

    Sure, there may be the exceptional cases where it ends up happily ever after. But personally, I just think having a relationship with a divorced person is just too much hard work. There are too many factors, variables and timing issues to consider. I'll probably exhaust myself before even the relationship gets an opportunity to kick off. I'll be lying if I say that I'm not going to get affected by his previous COMMITTED marriage.

    But that's me.

    No offense to the divorced people out there but I'm just laying out all the foreseeable issues. I don't know if it exist here but in other countries, there are socialising groups for divorced people and I think that's a good idea because I feel only someone who has been through a divorce can thoroughly understand what another divorced person is going through - emotionally and mentally. I just think for someone who has not been through a divorce to be with another divorced person, it will ALWAYS be the non-divorced person who will be "giving way" and "giving in" all the time because the divorced partner has "unsettled issues" to resolve. Hence my "victim card" theory.

    And likewise, it is difficult for the divorced person to thoroughly understand what the other un-divorced partner has to endure and go through !

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  • KarenXie
    replied
    I can accept it. Sometimes things happened to make them a better person as they have been through much .

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  • Borgen-breeze
    replied
    Originally posted by debz View Post
    thanks! yup, i never raise or broach the issue.. whenever he feels like or is ready to talk more abt it, i'll be all ears!
    But what if YOU need to talk about it? If you are not at all affected and can totally accept his situation without any questions... then why even start this thread ? You are obviously curious and want to know more !

    The fact that you need to ask this on a forum means there's something bothering you isn't it ? All the watery eyes and tears at the mention of his ex-wife ?

    Other than considering his feelings... You have to also ask yourself when will he ever be ready to tell you more. (should you want to know more.. and perhaps you do if not you wouldn't have started this thread on the forum in the first place )

    Although people who had a divorced are sensitive souls, fragile, vulnerable etc.... but they also have a responsibility towards their next partner. To reassure them that it's all in the past. If anything, they need to work harder at that then the non-divorced person !

    Just because they are divorced doesn't make them a victim in all relationships thereafter. They need to bear responsibility for the next partner they are with. If they can't, then they are not ready to move on which makes it unfair to the next partner.

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