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  • Doing Away with Wedding Dinner

    Just out of curiousity, how many of you would not mind doing away with wedding dinner for your Big Day?

    For those of you who sees wedding dinner as a must, maybe you can share why so?

  • #2
    ME! I dont care for wedding dinners...neither does my mum or my SO or his mum... we all dont care for wedding dinners.

    Firstly, we'd rather spend 10-20K on a wonderful house or a wonderful holiday than on a one night extravaganza with people you meet once a year and you still have to pick up the tab for them after that....and what if the red packets dont cover the cost?! Plus I think the smaller-dinner is more popular now.. meaning, you may just book a few tables at your favourite restuarant with your close family and friends...it's more meaningful that way..or you could just do an entire-booking of your favourite restaurant..something like Pete's Place would be nice..or simply book a big private room at those big chinese restuarants...it's cheaper and you WILL like the food and the company...what beats that?

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    • #3
      Pixash, what a unique parents you and your SO have. And you are so lucky that his parents also do not mind. Otherwise, i think that would pose some problems and either one party would have to compromise.

      Mind if I ask what is your religion and are you a Chinese. Most Chinese are very particular about wedding dinner.

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      • #4
        i would mind! i want a wedding dinner. even if we're very broke, we can still throw a dinner of homecooked food at our place.

        ultimately, the wedding dinner (for me) is a time to celebrate your union with all the people in your life that mean something to you. it's a huge day and it'd be lovely to share it with everyone else you love.

        but i want a tiny wedding dinner, about 50-100 guests max. nothing like my mom's 100-table thing

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        • #5
          I think it's the season of love, huh? Seems like CozyBride is all bumped up

          Peace, I'm Chinese However, our family are very clueless about traditions and such. I guess the most important thing however is to have tea ceremony to show our respect for our elders. Wedding dinners are not a must in our family.
          Last edited by raebelasian; 31-03-2007, 02:53 AM.

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          • #6
            Peace, Im indo-chinese..and they technically have HUGE dinners. My mum had TWO!! But....I think we're not into traditions much..so we may just get by a tea reception (though I was thinking of a DESSERT reception!! ) after the church ceremony...

            and yeah, im a *young* girl who's going-to-be-engaged-anytime so finance is a big factor.. But if you love such events, theres no harm in going all out! Im sure it can be a lot of fun...it's just how you improvise the dinner event to make sure you have minimal stress and maximum fun. How come we Chinese dont do the garter toss and bouquet toss here? I think it's fun.. and Americans do the chicken dance in their wedding dinners! And a lot of dancing as well...Do chinese dinners have lots of dancing? Well I think if you have a fun programme...everyone will enjoy it. Only problem is the Americans and Europeans love to dance, even the old folks....but try getting my "po po" (grandma) to dance??!! She'd rather hide under the table.

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            • #7
              WOW WOW! I'm really surprised. I thought that it is a norm to hosts wedding dinners.

              Like Xue, I want a wedding dinner too! How should I put it. To me, a wedding dinner is also a way for families, relatives and friend to witness the marriage. So much about "Love is the Two of Us", but the dinner can serve the purpose of letting your relatives and friends share the joy. Moreover, I don't think my family can ever erase the practice of doing away with the dinner.

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              • #8
                Re: Doing Away with Wedding Dinner

                Originally posted by Peace
                Just out of curiousity, how many of you would not mind doing away with wedding dinner for your Big Day?
                Me! We didn't have a wedding dinner/lunch/tea. We just went to ROM, exchanged vows/rings with both our parents and went for lunch altogether. End of wedding story.

                For us, we just want to keep it as simple and private as possible. No point having a wedding dinner and inviting so many people, more than half we don't even remotely know (eg, relatives, parents' friends, old neighbours, whatnot whoever). Besides, we think that the preparation is too tiring and not worth the hassle at all. And both hubby and me are not keen on entertaining in the first place, esp not on a day that means so much to us.

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                • #9
                  me and SO are not keen to have a wedding dinner, my mum is fine, not sure about his dad, and not sure about his parents

                  what we would rather have is a dinner with family (his side and mine) at a chinese restaurant, cheaper and easier to manage

                  i'm not entirely sure if we can have that though cos his cousins (indo-chinese) had wedding banquets that went on for a few nights

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                  • #10
                    I didn't want the wedding dinner initially but no choice.
                    So in the end we just went the whole hog (literally, we had suckling pigs each table), did the multi-gown change, wore the kua(s) and even that traditional kua headgear for photography.

                    Did I regret it? No.

                    We didn't lose much for dinner costs (very little loss though profit would have been welcome instead hahaha).
                    Parents were so pleased (enough joy and "face" to last the rest of their twilight years I should think- compliments poured in from the relatives about the gowns, food, setting).
                    I had fun (can't say my hubby had that much fun) and we did spend within our limits.
                    Also, the rationale that you can always buy/ upgrade your home, renovations but only hold the wedding ONCE (preferably )!

                    Unless you go into debt for it, otherwise one is generally more likely to regret not having done something, than regretting having done it. Then again, this is very personal, if you are sure you don't want it- and can get away without it, why not?

                    There are also different degrees... you can have a dinner yet simply, or just add little twists to it. Sometimes it's about compromise (hah! Never thought I'd say this )... when you look at things from the parent's and THEIR peers' perspective. Again I stress you shouldn't go in debt for that though.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Pixash
                      Im sure it can be a lot of fun...it's just how you improvise the dinner event to make sure you have minimal stress and maximum fun.
                      Well, to be frank, what's fun usually involves a certain amount of stress- whether it falls on the couple itself or their friends/ planner

                      We danced

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                      • #12
                        Re: Re: Doing Away with Wedding Dinner

                        Originally posted by mango
                        Me! We didn't have a wedding dinner/lunch/tea. We just went to ROM, exchanged vows/rings with both our parents and went for lunch altogether. End of wedding story.

                        For us, we just want to keep it as simple and private as possible. No point having a wedding dinner and inviting so many people, more than half we don't even remotely know (eg, relatives, parents' friends, old neighbours, whatnot whoever). Besides, we think that the preparation is too tiring and not worth the hassle at all. And both hubby and me are not keen on entertaining in the first place, esp not on a day that means so much to us.
                        me too..i didn't have wedding dinner too! and we were so glad we didn't have to go through the hassle and stress.

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                        • #13
                          My hubby and I didn't have a traditional Chinese wedding banquet. We are both Christians and felt that the central focus should be the church ceremony, so we concentrated on making that beautiful and meaningful. We didn't want to lose sight of that by getting all caught up in banquet preparations. We certainly didn't need the extra stress -- seating arrangements alone can be a killer!

                          My parents were very supportive. They encouraged us to spend our money on something more lasting, like our flat, which we were renovating at the same time. My mum believes that the people who benefit most from wedding dinners aren't the family or their guests, but the hotels! But my hubby's an only son, and his non-Christian parents were at first aghast. They didn't think their friends and relatives would come to the church wedding.

                          So my hubby talked his parents into having a wedding lunch the day after the wedding, just for their relatives, just 6 tables or so.

                          Closer to the wedding date, my parents thought it would be a bit sad if we didn't have any kind of dinner celebration after the ceremony (we told them we were gonna eat reception leftovers! ), so they hosted a small, 1-table dinner at Man Fu Yuan, just for my dad's side. My mum's side, at over 100 people, was too big, so we didn't even invite them to the wedding, let alone the dinner. We all had a nice relaxed time, with good food, good champagne and good conversation.

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                          • #14
                            My mum wasnt that "open-minded". She insisted on wedding banquet because I am her first daughter and the first wedding to take place within the family.

                            She says its fine for my sister to be without it.

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                            • #15
                              I would love to elope with my hubby, get hitched in a small chapel in a romantic far away land (think europe). Just the two of us, me in some simple nice white dress, some flowers in hand, and him casual and relax. Seriously, this is all it takes to make me really happy.

                              But, hubby has more in mind and he wanted to celebrate in a bigger way. And which girl would really complain? He brought me the gown of my dreams and we had our banquet in such a lovely hotel. I will never forget how in awe I was during our march in. Everything was so beautiful. But, the best moment was when he was standing at the aisle in church and everyone was waiting for my bridal car to drive up into the church's driveway. That moment I got out of the car, held my daddy's arm and slowly walk into the church with everyone looking on (especially him at the other end) and the lovely music at the background was MAGIC.

                              So, I am really glad that this was how my wedding turned out to be. But really, what matter most is that both of us are happy and have a good time and a beautiful memory of our big day. Even if we eloped, I would NOT love him any less.

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