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Pre-marriage jitters

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  • Pre-marriage jitters

    I wonder if its me only. I dont know why as the day draws nearer, I cant help but feel unrest and unsettled, agitated and annoyed easily. Feel like blowing my top when you feel that you and you alone have been doing all those jobs (besides my mum).
    All of a sudden, I feels that a simple wedding is just more than enough. Should not have gone that extra mile to make things even more memorable.

    Tired of the whole planning and coordinating when there is no one there to appreciate and praise.

  • #2
    Hey girl, I know what you mean. I have been there, done that. But sit back and look at the broad picture and you will realise that it is the perfectionist in you that wants everything to be just perfect, hence the stress and the feeling that nobody appreciates. Since you have decided that you want your wedding to be this way, go with it! After the wedding, you will look back at your actual day photos, videos etc and you will know it is all worth it.

    Take heart! Everything will go well. Just take a deep breath and smile

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    • #3
      Re: Pre-marriage jitters

      Originally posted by nymphette
      I dont know why as the day draws nearer, I cant help but feel unrest and unsettled, agitated and annoyed easily.
      Don't you worry, girl! I was exactly like that before my wedding. I was so on edge, my fiance and my family were tiptoeing around me, afraid that any little thing they said wrong might set me off. In fact, I started bawling when my sister said she was too lazy to help me surf the net for something -- hairstyles, I think -- it was really trivial! I didn't feel like myself at all.

      Other women who'd been there and done that told me not to stress myself out about achieving perfection. They said things that you couldn't control would go wrong on the day itself, but it wouldn't matter to me by then. I didn't believe them, and carried on worrying.

      On my big day, things did go wrong. For example, the CD we burned with our music didn't work on the PA system, so my hubby had to rush home to get the original CDs. The Muslim guests couldn't find the halal food. Hubby lost the photographer's angpao.

      But you know what, none of that really bothered me! I was too busy enjoying myself being the bride!

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      • #4
        hey Vonnie, yes you are right.. its the perfectionist in me.. maybe its time to relax and let things happen as planned. Like murphy's law: whatever can go wrong, will go wrong. No point broading over it.


        Pronuptia, I m starting to brawl at people around me already and I think my hubby suffered the most. Everything he does just irks me... I wonder why. I better relax before I start throwing tantrums on my big day ....



        AHHHHHHHHHHH.... Relax...
        much better now, at least i know its not only me...

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        • #5
          Re: Re: Pre-marriage jitters

          On my big day, things did go wrong. For example, the CD we burned with our music didn't work on the PA system, so my hubby had to rush home to get the original CDs. The Muslim guests couldn't find the halal food. Hubby lost the photographer's angpao.

          But you know what, none of that really bothered me! I was too busy enjoying myself being the bride! [/size]
          I m so afraid that the weather is bad and worst of all, my dress tear or whatever horrible things which can happened. These are the things on mind lately which are affecting my sleep. I had to keep telling and reminding myself - murphy's law.

          You know, I m so exicted yet worried.

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          • #6
            The week before my wedding, I took leave from work just to make sure I had time for any last minute wedding preps. And to relax. I lined up manicures, massages and facials to give myself some downtime, and those few precious hours were such a godsend!

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            • #7
              you are not alone.. i just went thru ROM and that was exactly how i felt too! and I didnt have anyone to help me,
              ... my gf who was suppose to help me was late and missed my solemnisation..

              i took Fri and Sat morning off ( my rom was on Sat late noon) and rush to get flower petals and aritificial flowers (which in the end I didnt use at all! and i left my flower petals on the table forgot to bring it along hai~ and no time to put up the flowers cos of hiccup with my bouquet and i arrive late at the venue).

              my makeup artist even arrived earlier than me!

              me and my hubby only decide on the CDs on Saturday afternoon.. everything was a rush rush. we even argued the night before with phone slamming.. so u can imagine how frustrated we were.. somemore my hubby's father had a fall and couldnt attend our rom.. and my hubby had to go visit him while his head is filled with so many unsettled stuff..

              but looking bad.. i guess its worth the hassle.. cos its once in a lifetime and every woman wants to have their perfect day. So try your best to keep cool.

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              • #8
                Re: Re: Re: Pre-marriage jitters

                Originally posted by nymphette
                I m so afraid that the weather is bad and worst of all, my dress tear or whatever horrible things which can happened. These are the things on mind lately which are affecting my sleep. I had to keep telling and reminding myself - murphy's law.

                You know, I m so exicted yet worried.
                Don't worry so much.... what my hubby and myself agreed on about 2 weeks before the wedding was to just go with the flow. If you have everything planned down to the most tiny detail, somehow things are not going to go as you wished. Just brief your helpers for your big day and let them run the show for you. Remember to instruct them what are the things you want them to get back to you for confirmation before they make the decisions.

                As for weather and your dress.... these are things you cannot predict anyway, so off goes those thoughts out of the window. Just remind yourself to enjoy the day... things will work themselves out.

                *touch wood* So what if they weather is bad? Just ask your photographer to take a nice romantic black and white shot of you two kissing under an umbrella with the rain as a veil seperating you and the camera.

                *double touch wood* So what if say your tea dress or evening gown has a tear? Just skip that dress and let more people admire you in your wedding gown! If it is your wedding gown... nobody will know since it is so long and there is so much fabric to draw attention away...

                You see, things are not that bad right?

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                • #9
                  thats so comforting... I will never think in another dimension...
                  Yeah, things arent that bad after all

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                  • #10
                    if anything should go off course , just smile then calmly think of what to do or delegate it to someone - you are the bride - not supposed to worry about such things on that day - that's why you get your best & most capable friend as bride's maid or to be around on that day too.

                    haha i was sleepless before we went to get the E-ring - looks like it will be worse. - do see if you can get a good night's rest even if you need some thing herbal or medicine which you have taken before to sleep better this week you need all the beauty sleep you can have.

                    abit off track...

                    We all want to be a beautyful bride but somehow even with all the cautions of sleeping properly - most brides cannot sleep the night before their wedding. waking with puffy eyes & stuff - all the pre martial facials look so wasted but then -its a happy ocassion we usually just dont bother about it.

                    If one should wake with that extra fine line or puffy eyes - i believe you should just laugh it off - dont let it affect you as there are 101 things you have to thing about on your wedding day & unconcious frowns aren't pretty on photos!

                    My doctor gave me lexoton or something like that for my migraine - with the haze of indonesia burning jungles, i usually get migraine attacks more often & more intense - this medication made me sleepy within 10 mins & when i lay down on the bed - i felt like a magnet on the bed - bed sucked me in & it was a very comfortable feeling. - i never used sleeping pills before - this could just be a relaxant i dunno but once a while should be ok.

                    On medication, My best friend's sis is a doctor & gave her med to stop her period from coming too she stopped the medication only after she reached her honeymoon destination (went for honeymoon immediately after her wedding) just in case in the plane it came (her destination was Europe - *envy*)

                    brides to be can look at these things too to ease problems. - i will be asking for extra migraine pain killers & anti-acids & gastric medication & it will be part of my 'must carry along' bag for my wedding - *Sigh*

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                    • #11
                      Just be careful not to morph into a Bridezilla!

                      Charlotte from SATC also had a less than perfect wedding.....but I think Carrie or Sam told her...at least what matters is that she can look forward to a great marriage. now how's that?

                      Focus on the positives..like instead of thinking and worrying over what may go wrong...imagine what may go right. And delegate work to your friends! E.g. One close friend will ensure that the angbaos are all there before you go to the venue...another will ensure that your dress is in order....another does a music check to ensure that it's working well....Having one or two wedding assistants will really reduce your stress...and i think they would be honoured to help you..unless you're mean to them!

                      You could also draw up a list for the day itself....and give some copies to your assistants so they can check it for you.. Afterall, what matters most is that you and your groom are there! Even if the weather is bad and many people who RSVPed dont turn up, who the heck cares! Cos all that matters is that you get married.

                      Plus....remember that the wedding is but a tiny fleck of concern as compared to your relationship..after many years together, you'll probably look back and laugh about your pre-wedding anxieties..so don't worry!!Just enjoy yourself!

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                      • #12
                        Pre-Marriage Jitters

                        Hi all

                        My rom date is drawing near and I'm unlike my usual self. Like what you gals mentioned, I get agitated and annoyed easily and even have second thoughts about the marriage.

                        I'm going to tell my bf about this and ask him to tahan for a little while more till the big day is over. I have to do my part too by drinking my herbal tea..ha ha ha

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                        • #13
                          I totally agree!!! I jumped at my hubby for not doing anything.... and I was so stressed up that my skin kept popping out zits!!! I blamed him for not helping with the wedding songs and also the video clip... luckily I had my buddies who helped relieved a lot of stress.... On the day itself I almost screamed at my photographer who kept asking me to pose and take pictures... I thought he was talking too much.... and thks to my buddies they calmed me down telling me it's ok that I dun wanna take anymore pictures... and If I want to, they're willing to walk ard with me...

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                          • #14
                            oh imo this is normal for all brides to be.

                            in fact i think mine is worst i start to think whether my husband is my Mr Right *sigh* can you imagine that!!

                            then i worry about financial stuffs worry about whether i look great in my gowns worry whether i will trip and fall during the grand walk in!

                            and my husband suffered alot then have to console me all the way

                            well...what can I say now except try to relax more if got $$ got for facial or spa to enjoy and destress try to delicate tasks to good friends or siblings and of course with your SO support wedding day will be memorable and enjoyable even if there's some hiccups. :wish:

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                            • #15
                              I had those jitters too and got really nervous wondering if I were marrying the right guy. Then I decided to write hubby a card telling him the reasons why I chose to marry him. Miraculously, writing those things down reassured me greatly and those jitters just disappeared. Plus, hubby was really touched reading it

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