Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Wedding traditions/myths

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Wedding traditions/myths

    My parents and my dearie's parents are not happy with each other, simply because my mum said that all hongbaos from our side should be kept by the bride's side which is hers truly and now my dearie's mum felt that my mum is 'selling' her daughter.. sigh..

    I was just wondering, is this the normal tradition?

  • #2
    usually this is the traditional practise. bride's family get to keep the hongbaos collected by their own relatives. this is the case of the bridegroom side giving how many tables to the bride's family and maybe thats why your mum feels she is entitled to keeping whatever your relatives give unless she decides to give it up on her own will or share half with you. some feel that if she dont even get to keep the hongbaos given by relatives of your side, she is indirectly paying for the dinner as well so defeats the purpose of the groom giving tables to the bride.

    Comment


    • #3
      Advance congrats, Jewel

      Deleted! Doesn't apply
      Last edited by Medusa; 14-10-2004, 10:07 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Since I am not having the chinese dinner, but only the church reception, my relatives are going to give the hongbaos at the reception though it would be lesser than the usual norms, but we think it would cover the church nicely, but since my mum is going keep her side's hongbao, it means the 1/3 cost will be borne by us. I guess my bf's mum felt that my mum is not understanding enough in that aspect.

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Jewel,

          Congrats... well, your mom is right... she gets to keep everything. As for me, my mom gave it back to me but retained a small portion I took 3/4 while she kept 1/4 only... and the ones she kept is for paying off the lunch buffet during tea serving ceremony and the actual day photographer (she was the one who insisted on having him)

          Comment


          • #6
            Dear Jewel.....yup your mom is right. But nowadays all the wedding expenses are shouldered by the wedding couple so usually the couple gets to keep all the hongpaos...

            I guess there's room for negotiation right?

            Comment


            • #7
              My parents and my hubby's parents are very easy going. They gave us all the red packets so that we can use them to pay for any expenses incurred.

              We also didn't follow the tradition whereby the bride's family get X number of tables. Since we were responsible for our own wedding, they kinda follow our rules.

              Comment


              • #8
                Hi Jewel, first off big congratulations!

                Like others have mentioned, it is the norm for the bride's parents to keep the hongbaos from their side. Since most people have done away with the tradition of the groom's family giving a lump sum of money to the bride's family, the hangbao thing is I guess a token of appreciation to the bride's parents for bringing up their daughter.

                Perhaps you can talk to your mom about splitting the hangbao money to help you cover cost? Anyway, try not to let yourself be too stressed out by this, most important is to enjoy the most meaningful day of your life. All the very best!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Jewel,

                  I think maybe you should speak to your mom about this... but on the otherhand, your in laws shouldn't have any comments on whether your mom is understanding or not... coze they are supposed to be the ones paying for you all not yourself and your hubby.

                  At least you are better off than me in a sense, my father in law invited 7 tables worth of friends and kept telling us that our friends will be giving a meagre sum of ang bao but in the end he had 3 tables of ppl not coming and his friends ... guess what had 2 people who came and gavea total of $50 and an anonymous person giving $20 and we tallied and it's not from our side that anyone gave $20. In the end we had to take the extras that our friends gave us to cover his losses.

                  Worse of all he and my mom in law insisted on coming up to our suite to count the ang baos on the night itself, they opened my friend's ang bao without telling me... I was sooo mad... then when there's surplus, they took some of the money without telling us exactly how much they took... this is what I call gross...
                  Lucky thing is that some of my friends gave me the ang bao personally or else they would've taken it all away... :piss:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    OMG! You mean there's still people giving $20 for hongbao? :huh:
                    Sorry to say that, but it's indeed very disgusting! $20 ask them to go Macdonalds and eat................
                    So is your ILs paying for the dinner? Or you and hubby footing the bill? It's no joke to have three empty tables........

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Congrats lydi

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        i'm sorry that happened..hope everything works out for you

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Thanks girls. We are now trying to spilt the 2 side relatives and friends into 3 equal group, so my mum's share will be 1/3 of the cost so we could better manage the cost.

                          Hopefully, our friends' surplus can cover my mum's potion.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by fates
                            OMG! You mean there's still people giving $20 for hongbao? :huh:
                            Sorry to say that, but it's indeed very disgusting! $20 ask them to go Macdonalds and eat................
                            So is your ILs paying for the dinner? Or you and hubby footing the bill? It's no joke to have three empty tables........
                            Oh yes... I was appalled ewww... disgusting.... that person probably thinks he's attending a low class buffet...

                            Nope... my hubby and I are footing the bill ourselves but luckily our friends are very generous.... my jie mehs each gave me $168 (w/o including their partners)

                            And luckily we were smart, we lowered the amount of tables 1 day before the wedding so on the actual day, his tables were the spare ones which we didn't open or else it would've been disastrous....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Jewel
                              Thanks girls. We are now trying to spilt the 2 side relatives and friends into 3 equal group, so my mum's share will be 1/3 of the cost so we could better manage the cost.

                              Hopefully, our friends' surplus can cover my mum's potion.
                              Oh.... I'm sorry Lyd... dun worry too much yah? It's your day dun let these things get to you ok?

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X