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IS money important in a relationship?

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  • IS money important in a relationship?

    Do money play an essential part in your relationship with the other half?

  • #2
    It is not the most important factor but face it, it does play a part. Love him for whoever he is and not how fat his wallet is. I do admit that with spare cash on hand, both of you are able to lead a better life, go for fancy dinner dinner, good wine, etc. But don't tell me when he is down are you going to leave him? Or make life hell for him? My man is now starting his own career and do face some difficulties but I don't see why I should not support him. It is not very difficult not to dine at restaurants or for me to treat him to a good dinner especially when I can afford it and also he needs it after a hard day at work.

    At least he is working or even trying to earn a living is ok. I can't stand man who don't work and expect woman to support them. They may be down during certain part of their life but as long as he tries his best to work hard, I will support him all the way even if it means I will have to work double hard.

    I told him before, I need a boyfriend not a superman. As long as I see that he does work hard, I still love him for whoever he is. What is the use of being with a loaded man when you can't stand the sight of him at all? I rather die than torture myself.

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    • #3
      personally feel that bread and love is equally important in this society, however i do not mean being materialistic. As long as the basic needs (e.g. roof and food) are tend for, love then exists...

      would you marry someone, not to say who can't afford you luxuries, but also the basic needs in life e.g. roof and food?

      Last time I used to think that as long as basic needs are catered for, there isn't any reason to reject love. But all of us grew up in a pampered environment and live a "rather" luxurious life compared to poorer countries...
      I asked myself...
      would you go out with someone who can't afford to bring you around? these days, our generation, our life revolve around the luxuries (e.g. good food, movies, karaoke and other activities) and all these need $...
      My answer is no. I prefer someone who is financially capable to at least give me a roof and to bring bread home and provide me with occasional luxuries such as karaoke, movies etc.

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      • #4
        Sadly to say ... thou' love should prevail money is still a factor in a relationship..... to a family where by money is scarce .... imagine having to consistently worry about where the money for the next PUB/ Telephone bill is going to come from. To a family where there is kids you would have to worry about their school fees and all the various other fees to pay for every other month.... when you are consistently worrying about all these issues ... its really difficult not to quarrel and have a shaky relationshi in the long run ....

        Its just my 2 cents worth

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        • #5
          My is "It's important". Don't like the feeling for being poor But luckily till now both us still can afford a bit of luxuries. Perharps I never think of this question yet But Chaser - what make you think of it?

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          • #6
            money is important, but it's not everything.

            actually if you love your other half, you won't mind dining at nice restaurants only like once a month. if you love your other half, its more like loving him as a person n not how much he earn rite?

            may not be true but there's a saying that you can live on 'love bread'

            jus my worth

            *pls ignore my signature
            Last edited by tinkerbell; 31-08-2005, 01:33 PM.

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            • #7
              I agree with you Tinkerbell but sometimes one really have to reconsider. Once a month dining at fancy place also means $$. What if your man can't even afford this little luxury? I feel that it takes love to put up with it. Me being pampered since birth by my dad is a spoilt brat. Well who ask me to love and choose him in the 1st place. I am considered blessed that I am still working and can afford my own spending.

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              • #8
                yup, if one mind their partner being poor, why choose him in the first place? n i totally agree that it takes love to put up with everything... anyway money is just 'sheng wai wu' (physical needs, i think)

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                • #9
                  hi gals!

                  I think money is indeed a very important factor in relationships but I think money is not the actual issue here but one's attitude or perception towards money that is the crucial point in a relationship. Studies shows that alot of marriages broke down because of money.

                  IMO, It's the differences in people's ideas on how to use money that causes conflicts or blissfulness.

                  I appreciate guys who does not earn much but uses whatever he has to make the people around (eg, family, friends and gf of course!) happy as compared to someone who earns alot but keeps all the money to himself! That said, I would also appreciate someone who is motivated to work hard for his family's sake and not only for his own selfish needs (eg, splurge on expensive gadgets, hobbies etc but not on nie dinners or gifts for GF and family memebers). This is a good indication of his responsibility level and whether he'll be able to take care of you and the family.

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                  • #10
                    Indeed it's all about perceptions and expectations, Wendy (Hey girl, congrats! )

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                    • #11
                      I personally feel that it is an important component in the relationship as it gets deeper to a certain extent. When it comes to the nitty gritties like meals and movies, it is definitely quite hard to suggest an outing where money does not come into play. Even cooking a meal at home together requires money as well.

                      I did have a few difficulties with my ex bf as his family was so hard up on money until his allowance was cut and it was difficult for me to really have a good outing together without me paying for his share. Once or twice is perfectly fine but i would feel rather pressurized in the future outings when there are times I would be broke as well. I do feel its quite sick to hear " I dont have enough money to last me the week if I do this/that"

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                      • #12
                        I read in the papers recently that in many cases of divorce, money issues were involved

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ShoppingQueenie
                          My is "It's important". Don't like the feeling for being poor But luckily till now both us still can afford a bit of luxuries. Perharps I never think of this question yet But Chaser - what make you think of it?

                          I used to have an ex who does not really have "Vitamin M".Going out and having fun is like once in a blue moon. Most of the time, i will pay for the bills.As time passed, i dread going out with him but at the same time i felt bad if i reject him. At that time, he was not working so no income at all.But to cut the story short, we broke off and one of the reason was i felt that he could not support me. Till now, i believe he is still not working as he has not find his so called" dream job". Now , my current bf, he has a stable job, good pay etc...but i find that he is very thrifty when it comes to money. I wonder can i stand it.... :Doh:

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by shazzerlyn
                            I appreciate guys who does not earn much but uses whatever he has to make the people around (eg, family, friends and gf of course!) happy as compared to someone who earns alot but keeps all the money to himself! That said, I would also appreciate someone who is motivated to work hard for his family's sake and not only for his own selfish needs (eg, splurge on expensive gadgets, hobbies etc but not on nie dinners or gifts for GF and family memebers). This is a good indication of his responsibility level and whether he'll be able to take care of you and the family.
                            Totally agree with you, shazzerlyn
                            I think if a guy loves you, he will do whatever he can to make you happy and that is what motivates him to earn more $$.

                            Its love that 'creates' $$ rather than $$ that 'creates' love.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by chaser
                              Now , my current bf, he has a stable job, good pay etc...but i find that he is very thrifty when it comes to money. I wonder can i stand it.... :Doh:
                              Abit OT, I cannot stand thrifty guy esp if he has the money *no offence chaser* Felt truly blessed because i have never met such a guy in my life before. Even my guy friends, they are usually very generous and pay for my meals, drinks at club etc

                              I have a friend whose bf split 50% 50% with her ALL the time throughout the whole relationship including courtship period (mind you, he's not poorat all)! I totally cannot believe it. He has the cheek to ask her for money right in front of us after paying up a meal *faint* :Doh: Of course, my gf cries over it occassionally but not able to do anything about it

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