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  • Wedding - Who to Invite?

    I'm starting to get more wedding invites this year, and I foresee many more to come in the next year and so on. When I get married, is it ok not to invite these people who have invited me to their weddings? Most of them are former school/classmates whom I do not keep in touch with (except show the courtesy of attending their wedding/s when invited). I'm not sure if they'll be offended

  • #2
    it really depends on yourself actually. i didnt invite all those acquaintances whose wedding dinners i attended. its your big day, you have the final say. HTH .. are you getting married?? haha ..

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    • #3
      Haha, not getting married yet! Still waiting for SO to propose But we've talked about marriage and the works. I prefer to keep my wedding small, so probably going to exclude all acquaintances. Just hope that they won't be displeased!

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      • #4
        getting married next yr, SO's dad is a business man so cant run away from inviting whom you dont know at all

        i guess in a way, u can inform your acquaintances that you are getting married and you are planning to keep it small, hence not planning to invite them

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        • #5
          You definitly can! It's your wedding and you call the shots. Not everyone can afford a big wedding... not everyone wants a big wedding. I'm sure your friends will understand.

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          • #6
            have lessor guests and you will have time to mingle around. I had 620 guests and had to start taking photos with individual tables from the second dish on .. i hate the rush. i ever attended a friend's dinner of just 12 tables and we were having so much fun with the bride&groom .. but having a big family means i can only be envious of them ..

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            • #7
              one thing to note when inviting relatives and friends.
              sometimes if u invite A, u must invite B even though u r not close to the latter, cos if B knows that u didnt invite him, he'll feel offended, so thereafter.

              so it's really a sticky issue. n invite people who will turn up! u dun want empty chairs in tables, waste $

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              • #8
                Originally posted by feyer
                one thing to note when inviting relatives and friends.
                sometimes if u invite A, u must invite B even though u r not close to the latter, cos if B knows that u didnt invite him, he'll feel offended, so thereafter........$
                If its friends situation, why must scare B will be offended? afterall, i think B shld know that his/her term with the couple is not that close to be invited? I am only inviting my close friends. those that i dont keep in touch with, i wont invite. Even if contact a few times a year thru sms i also wont invite them. I know there's many sayings of inviting yr friends so that u will earn your angbao money. but i prefer to invite only good friends. Dont invite for the sake of 'earning money'. Furthermore, now you invite them, next time maybe they will invite you again. Then the 'angbao' is like just for show.

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                • #9
                  there're lotsa petty people out there.

                  give for example, my situation:
                  i have this friend who's my pri sch mate, would have been long forgotten if not for a close secondary friend of mine who landed up in the same JC as her, n they became a clique. so in a way, im not close to her, but she noes me, n in fact my mom noes her mom and vice versa, but ive never regarded her as a close friend. but i dunno what she thinks abt me in her mind.

                  there're lotsa such cases in my social circle, my friends knowing my friends kind of thing.

                  anyway speaking abt the ang bao earning strategy to invite friends, my bf's friend did that. I realised she invited people selectively, even people who are not close to her, to realise all of them are working adults. those who are still serving NS or schooling, she didnt invite, though they might be as close (distant) to her as some she invited.

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                  • #10
                    I think it's silly to think that one can 'earn' from wedding dinner through the ang-pow earning strategy. My dad once related this story of his former school mate, who invited just about every Tom, Dick & Harry he knew on the street to his wedding dinner. Guess what happened in the end? Only half of the invited guests turned up - so in the end, the tables were only half-occupied, a lot of food was wasted and not to forget, the whole scene just looked bad.

                    feyer: your SO's friend is too money-minded!

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                    • #11
                      think keep it short & sweet, just invite those who truely u wish to see on your big day, don't be afraid of who's offending who. this will be no end, goes on & on.

                      what i hate most is being invited just to fill the list

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by creepcake

                        feyer: your SO's friend is too money-minded!
                        indeed.
                        the people she invited did turn up. good for her.
                        but the arrangement is such that people sitting in the same tables are not really close to each other, are just mere acquaintances, so we didnt talk much.

                        plus her arrangement of friends' seatings is pretty insensitive. she got her ex-gfs n ex-bfs sitting together, so it was pretty akwarded for those guys.

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                        • #13
                          yup, i agree with 'keeping it short and sweet'.
                          for my case, i only invited the closer friends and colleagues. even so, i have a few of them who 'played me out' though they've RSVP-ed. you have to be prepared for that.
                          if you invite the whole village, you'll only tire yourself out and higher chance that most might just perform MIA act.

                          as for the making profit out of angpows part, let's just put it this way. who wants to suffer a loss? would be nice if you can break-even, a bonus if you manage to make an earning out of it. to put it in cliche terms : just hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

                          afterall, it's a joyous occasion which you invite friends and relatives to celebrate the big day with you. if you keep thinking about the , it's gonna be really hard to truly enjoy the occassion.

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                          • #14
                            I do agree that by inviting those closer relatives and friends will make the whole event a better one for everyone. So that the couple got ample time in between to mingle with their friends and relatives. Having a smaller banquet will also have their own pros and cons too..
                            But most importantly, everyone will have a joyous time to celebrate this big day with the wedding couple.

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                            • #15
                              The old-school mentality is that you reciprocate the invitation - because monetary gifts are given, then received back. That's why the older generation take note of each ang pow $ amount received ; so that they can give similar $ amount when they get invited in return.

                              Most people my age now do not bother with the above practice, maybe because we place less emphasis on the monetary aspect of a wedding. IMO It's alright if you choose not to observe it too.

                              What you may be concerned with however, are the feelings of those who did not get invited , especially when they hear from a mutual acquaintence that you're throwing a dinner. Some may feel offended as a result. But of course if you do not allow yourself to be bothered by that, then it's not a problem :D

                              Some usual scenarios that may happen are - you invite the people anyway to ease your guilty conscience, and hope they turn the invitation down

                              Or you don't invite, but they call you up to congratulate you because they heard about your dinner through so-and-so, and now out of guilt you have to invite them LOL
                              Originally posted by creepcake
                              I'm starting to get more wedding invites this year, and I foresee many more to come in the next year and so on. When I get married, is it ok not to invite these people who have invited me to their weddings? Most of them are former school/classmates whom I do not keep in touch with (except show the courtesy of attending their wedding/s when invited). I'm not sure if they'll be offended

                              Comment

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